Forever will end one day

Past life, this life.. no next one (part I)

He could not believe it had really happened. Had he not just but a day ago thought of never wallowing in saddness. In regret. In pain anymore. What was the reason to this life without him. Arthit just could not make himself go away. Was this really love? Did Henry really love him? What was this curse really? If he did love him.. what scared him to this extent, that he would go to, almost every absurd direction, to get rid of the guy he loved.

"Arthit?" Henry was looking for him. Arthit had stepped onto the rooftop, which made one think that he was alone in this world, especially in the dark of the night. No soul to feel, no other building to see in the pitch black night. Arthit stepped onto the landing of the roof. Was this really fate? Will the fortunate really be favored for a time? How long?

"I was afraid you had left. That it had all been a dream." Arthit felt him. Henry put his arms around his waist and pressed against his back, but the face that leaned onto his bare shoulder was damp. From sweat? From tears? How bad was this affecting him really? Maybe if Arthit will look closer, he will find some cracks in that perfectly smooth rock.

"Did you mean it Henry?"
"You can call me Kongpob. It feels good, when you call me thus. I did. I am. I do love you." he loosened his grip a bit. Arthit turned over and looked at Kongpob's face.

"Why all this then? Did you know I would come to you? This project is your doing, isn't it? The feel was so right, when I read it. Was it for a thrill, this once? Or is it finally something more?"

"You are right. I wrote it. I think I was thinking of you, when I wrote it. No I was always thinking of you, so there is no doubt." Henry let go of him and stepped away from him. His eyes disappeared into the shadows of the night. Arthit could only sense where they were, but he could not see the intense regret and longing, that was looming from them. "I didn't know you would be the one reading it, or rather, that you would come here. I never imagined it and if I would have known beforehand. I would had never shown myself... Though, I would have looked at you, from afar." Kongpob stepped into the light and Arthit could see the tears flowing down his face.

"It wasn't from thrill. It's not easy for me!" Kongpob stepped forward and held onto Arthit's arms. "I know you have been through hell. But do you have any idea how I feel? Do you have any idea, what staying away from you has cost me? Arthit this is as close as I can let you come?" He wiped his face clean and leaned his forehead onto Arthit's shoulder. Arthit had gone totally still. He was barely breathing. Will it come now. Another blow to his heart, to his life.

"Can you do one thing for me?"

Arthit felt breathless. What now? He could not answer, so he nodded, while Henry still didn't lift his head, but he seemed to have understood, because he sighed and raised his head and said it.

"You can never ask me, about the curse again. Nothing. If you do, I will leave at that second and make it impossible to find me again. Can you agree to this?" Kongpob's gaze was piercing. He absolutely needed Arthit to agree and he was conveying his pleading soul through that one steady fixed look. Arthit did not trust his voice. His wish was so close to fulfillment, so he nodded again. To his distraught Kongpob shook his head.

"No, this won't do. You have to promise me. I have to be able to believe you. Please." He was so adamant and strong and yet, his need betrayed his fear and uncertainty.

Arthit swallowed once, twice. "I promise."

Kongpob closed the short distance that separated them. Until his body, which really was clad only in sweatpants, pressed against Arthit's. Really this way, no distance between them, the look of desperation gone from his eyes, it looked like they had been apart for too long and there was so much to cherish, to discover. He reached his hands around Arthit, and it felt like he breathed him in. It felt weird. It wasn't a normal embrace, Kongpob held him like he wasn't sure how to handle him, like Arthit was a precious artifact. One hand curled around the nape of his neck and the other on his back. He whispered something, but Arthit could not catch everything he said. „Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon..." But before he could think about it and ask about, what Kongpob had said or meant with it, Arthit was pressed so close, that he lost all logical ways to think. Kongpob's teeth nibbled his ear and his fingers were massaging and caressing his back. Arthit could just close his arms around Kongpob's waist and hold himself upwards. All the sensation made him feel like he could not really breath okay. Suddenly Kongpob drew farther away from him. He took a hold of his hand and led him back inside.