Just Another Book About Harry Potter Ships

Snamione (Snape/Hermione)

SHIP NAMES: Snamione, Sevmione, Snanger, Snermione, Snarmione, Snape/Hermione, Severus/Hermione, SS/HG, S.S. Prudence & Potions

THOUGHTS: OH GOD NOOOO. Why do fans insist on shipping Snape with his students?!

I dislike this ship even more than I dislike Snarry, and that's honestly saying something! Once again, though, I'm going to attempt to be as fair as possible to shippers of Snamione before I get into my reasons why I personally dislike it.

One of the reasons why people probably ship Snamione is because they find Alan Rickman attractive and project themselves onto Hermione, thus Snape and Hermione is a self-indulgent pairing that allows them to "be" with an older man whom they find hot. Either that, or they find Snape himself attractive, as a dark, brooding, Byronic anti-hero with a tragic past, and then either project onto Hermione or see her as a modern echo of the classic bookish, independent, fiery heroine who falls for the brooding older man with an estate and skeletons in his closet. That doesn't account for all shippers, of course, but I bet it covers quite a few (especially since fics where Snape is a wealthy pure-blood were very popular before his backstory was shown in books six and seven, and people really do seem to love and romanticize Snape a lot).

For those that the above reasons don't apply to, I suppose there are other possible reasons. Similarly to Snarry, Snamione is an Enemies to Lovers ship, with added Gryffindor vs Slytherin rivalry and being on opposite (but not really opposite?) sides of the war. There are also potential elements of angst due to Snape's "love" for Lily because Hermione is also a whipsmart Muggle-born. I've read ship manifestos for Snamione that argue that Snape's intelligence is a better match for Hermione than any of the boys her age, and that Hermione could challenge him and he could challenge her in equal measure, as both nerdy, bookish people. Hermione seems to be the only one out of the Golden Trio who's willing to give Snape the benefit of the doubt and try to understand why he acts the way he does, and she shows canonical interest in older men (Viktor Krum and Gilderoy Lockhart). Finally, for what it's worth, many Snamione shippers ship them post-Hogwarts when they're both adults and not during their teacher x student relationship (although Snamione fics where Hermione is underage definitely exist, too).

Okay, was that fair enough? Let's get into the reasons why I hate this ship, shall we?

Snape is easily old enough to be Hermione's father, and just as with Harry, he watched her grow up, which makes the idea of him being interested in her as an adult (or, heaven forbid, when she's still a child) super strange, uncomfortable, and squicky. Snape loathes and disparages Muggle-borns, except for Lily, so there's no reason why he would be interested in Hermione unless he has a fetish for Muggle-born women who are the "exception to the rule" that Muggle-borns are "inferior" to people with "more" magical blood, which reminds me of when people have racial/ethnic fetishes for individuals of a group that they're bigoted towards, which is just...YIKES. Snape literally joined a terrorist group based on the equivalent of white supremacy and ethnic cleansing that desires to wipe people just like Hermione (and his supposed love, Lily) off the face of the earth, and THE ONLY REASON WHY HE REGRETTED IT WAS BECAUSE LILY DIED. BUT, even if you disagree with my last assertion, the fact that Snape called every Muggle-born (including Lily) a vile racial slur even after he was supposedly in love with Lily and then joined a terrorist group hell-bent on wiping out Muggle-borns like her, in part because she rejected him and in part because he already believed in pure-blood supremacy and hated Muggles/Muggle-borns...you're really going to ship him with a Muggle-born, much less a Muggle-born student of his? Seriously?

Another huge reason why I hate this ship is because Snape bullied Hermione mercilessly. He was nearly as nasty to her as he was to Harry, and for no reason other than the fact that Snape liked to bully his students. He called Hermione "an insufferable know-it-all"; picked on her for knowing the answers to his questions, which he asked because he wanted to humiliate Harry for not knowing the answers; and even outright mocked her appearance, which was one of the catalysts for Hermione at the age of 15 to permanently alter her appearance (i.e. shrinking her teeth)! I don't get how people can look past how horribly unprofessional and cruel Snape was as a teacher, much less look past it far enough to ship him with his students! Snape was given a position of authority, and he abused it in order to tear down and bully children. Why would I want Hermione (or any of Snape's other students) to have to deal with him and be with him as a life partner after everything he did to them when they were children?

Once again, there's the super uncomfortable underage nature of the ship before Hermione reaches the age of consent, and after, there's an uncomfortably large age gap, plus the fact that Snape watched her grow up. The power dynamic leans far too heavily in Snape's direction, as her (former) professor and an adult with authority, and let's face it, any "realistic" exploration of this relationship would be predatory and abusive. Do you really think Hermione deserves (or wants) to be in a relationship with a (former) professor who bullied her, hates Muggle-borns and joined a terrorist group to exterminate them, is old enough to be her father, and has known her since she was eleven?! Why would Hermione want this? How did people even come up with this ship, much less make it so popular?

Look, I'm trying to be as polite as possible, but this ship squicks the hell outta me, and I don't want to think about it any longer than I have to, so let's end here. Needless to say, I do NOT ship it!!!

RATING: 0/10: NOTP to the max!

FANDOM RANK (AS OF JUNE 2022): #9

What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

UP NEXT: Tomarry (Tom Riddle/Harry) & Harrymort (Harry/Voldemort)...