HI EVERYONE! Just a little note: From here on out, these chapter opinions have NOT been updated since 2021, unlike the chapters before this, and they may not be in ship popularity order, either. As I am no longer updating this book, I figured the least I can do is re-publish the older ship chapters in case readers are curious about where I stood on the rest of the ships that I'd written chapters about between 2020 and 2021. All the ship opinions in this book are a bit out of date, anyway, so here you go. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around this long, and I hope you all are well even though I am likely never to return to this ship book! Peace!
SHIP NAMES: Grindeldore, Dumblewald, Gelbus, Grindelwald/Dumbledore, Albus/Gellert, AD/GG, H.M.S. Greater Good
THOUGHTS: I was initially super stoked that this was canon, but I've become super jaded about the whole thing ever since the Fantastic Beasts movies started to be released.
Simply put, it's lousy representation.
First of all, we get no concrete hints towards Dumbledore's sexuality in the books. Not even an offhand comment whispered by Dumbledore's haters or a rumor in Rita Skeeter's books (which you know is unrealistic as hell! Skeeter would lap that shit up! She'd dedicate at least an entire chapter to that kind of rumor!) All we have to go off of are stereotypes, like the old gay British headmaster stereotype, which I hadn't even heard of before until one of my English professors talked about it in class; Dumbledore's unique fashion sense (his "purple cloak and high-heeled boots," a "flamboyantly-cut" purple suit (what does that even mean, "flamboyantly-cut"?! How can the cut of a suit be flamboyant?), or his flowered Christmas bonnet); and subtext involving Grindelwald that was so barely there that most fans didn't even notice it, myself included.
Then, JKR had and still has (if the rest of the movies aren't cancelled by Warner Bros due to poor box office numbers and controversies involving the actors and JKR herself) a perfectly good chance to actually show and develop Dumbledore and Grindelwald's relationship in the Fantastic Beasts movies, but so far, she's chosen not to. She pays lip-service to the idea of a relationship, saying stuff like they used to have an "intense" sexual relationship (oml nobody asked for that, Jo! we just want accurate queer representation!! Blease), yet it continues to be insanely ambiguous and unclear in the very movies that are supposed to delve deeper into their relationship! They're just empty words at this point. Did they have a relationship or not? If yes, then fucking show it. If not, stop queerbaiting us and admit that all you're doing is bowing to the pressure of other countries' censorship laws in order to make money.
Not to mention that the relationship itself, ignoring JKR's half-hearted attempts to make it canon, is full of negative stereotypes about LGBTQ+ people. Think about it: Grindelwald fits startlingly well into the stereotypical evil queer guy who tempts the good guy but is ultimately defeated, while the good guy never goes on to have another relationship with a man, much less one that's healthy. It also falls under the "bury your gays" trope: Dumbledore has to defeat and betray his own lover, and then he himself doesn't get a happy ending or a peaceful death. Us queer people are never allowed happy endings. We're evil, or doomed, or dead, or all of the above. So for this to be JKR's only "canonical" LGBTQ+ representation...frankly, it's bullshit.
I don't want to be fed another poorly-represented (and barely represented at all, since the writers and directors are COWARDS) queer relationship full of toxic gay stereotypes that is never actually consummated on screen. I'm so t i r e d of this shit.
So, no, I don't particularly ship a poorly-done relationship that's riddled with toxic stereotypes and zero genuine authorial attempts to show or develop the characters' bond. It's tragic, and depressing, and I'm just tired of it all.
RATING: 3/10: It has so much potential, but the representation sucks.
FANDOM RANK (AS OF JUNE 2022): #17
What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments!
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Just Another Book About Harry Potter Ships
De Todo[no longer updating] All about Harry Potter ships! When complete, this book will include: - data on the top 10 ships on the four major HP fanfic sites (compiled by yours truly) - data on the top 100 ships in the fandom overall (ditto) - a masterlist...
