Just Another Book About Harry Potter Ships

Scorbus (Scorpius/Albus Severus)

SHIP NAMES: Scorbus, Albius, Scorpius/Albus, Albus Severus/Scorpius, AS/S, ASP/SM, H.M.S. A.S.S. (which stands for Albus Severus/Scorpius), H.M.S. Giving Up Your Kingdom*, S.S. Lost and Hopeful*, S.S. A Companion at the Return of Eternal Darkness*

THOUGHTS: I love this ship! I will die on the hill that Scorbus / Scorpius and Albus's friendship is one of the only good things to come out of The-Play-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named. (One of the other good things is Draco getting a redemption arc, though as with almost everything in the play, I have issues with its execution. Still, at least we got to see Draco being a good father to Scorpius and a loving husband to his late wife, and the duel he has with Harry in their kitchen that Ginny interrupts would probably be amazing to see on stage.)

Anyway, having a romance between Scorpius and Albus could've been SO GOOD, but instead The-Play-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named gave us Scorpius's forced interest in Rose and a shit-ton of tension and affection between Scorpius and Albus that is never addressed. I mean, c'mon, the awkwardness around them hugging and having that come up multiple times across the play? Scorpius being jealous of Albus's connection to and crush on Delphi ("He looks at his friend talking to a girl - and part of him likes it and part of him doesn't")? Delphi telling Scorpius that Albus is "destroyed by" Scorpius's absence and that "You two - you belong together"? Hell, everything about their reunion scene under Harry's Invisibility Cloak? "Think about Albus. You're giving up your kingdom for Albus, right?" and the comparison between Scorbus and a canonical het friendship turned crush/love? Delphi targeting Scorpius because she knew that torturing Albus's best friend would hurt Albus more than torturing him? Scorpius telling Albus, "if I had to choose a companion to be at the return of eternal darkness with, I'd choose you"?! Not to mention that the last time they hug, Albus jokes that they should check with Rose if the two of them hugging is "the right thing to do," which I don't even know how you interpret that in a heterosexual way, when Albus is literally joking that they should ask Scorpius's supposed crush for permission to hug...

Plus, there are some really interesting themes and paths that open up with Harry's and Draco's sons becoming friends, Albus being sorted into Slytherin and feeling like the black sheep of the family, and Harry and Draco being forced to face their pasts head-on because of their sons. If only the play had leaned into that and committed totally to Albus and Scorpius's bond, rather than half-assing it, filling the whole play with queer subtext, and then "no homo-ing" it at the end! Queerbaiting makes me so angry, and the fact that the subtext is all there and teased multiple times and then yanked out from under readers with a forced het ship is infuriating! If the wizarding world truly is generally accepting of gay people, as JKR once claimed in a 2007 interview, why can't Scorpius and Albus fall in love? Why can't their love be shown on stage with a confession of feelings or a chaste kiss at the end of the play? While Albus's temporary idolizing crush on Delphi was developed in a way that felt believable enough to me, why did we have to be force-fed Scorpius's crush on Rose? What was the point of that, beyond "proof" that these two boys are Totally Straight™ and Not Gay™ for each other?

(For more on queer subtext and queerbaiting in The-Play-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, check out the opinion article linked in the comments, which I think sums up everything extremely well. →)

Why can't us queer people just exist in media like straight people without it being a whole big statement? Why are we still having to fight tooth and nail for crumbs of representation in 2022, if a fictional world like JKR's is supposedly so accepting? Unfortunately, though, I didn't expect anything less from a writer who likes to make claims to inclusivity and diversity without actually committing to it. (And yes, I know that JKR didn't write the play, but she had a say throughout the process, put her stamp of approval on it, and says it canon, so it clearly has her support.) Figuring out that the author of one of the most influential pieces of media in your life growing up, a whimsical series that means so much to so many people, is actually an unrepentant TERF and nowhere near the gay ally that she claims to be feels like being stabbed in the heart. The fact that she's dug her heels in and doubled (tripled, quadrupled, quintupled...) down on her claims, rather than try to understand where her trans followers are coming from and why the things she has said are hurtful and feed into anti-trans sentiment, is even more disappointing.

(To read just one trans woman's perspective on JKR's 2020 personal essay doubling down on her "trans critical" beliefs, check out the link in the comments. It's definitely worth a read! →)

Anyway, beyond loving Scorbus's dynamic in The-Play-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, I also love them as a big "fuck you" to the forced heteronormativity of canon, and so I'm ngl, I ship them partially out of spite. That's in addition to my love for their dynamic and the potential of their relationship outside of the play, ofc, but you should never underestimate the power of spite shipping — it's a powerful thing! 😂

RATING: 8/10: I really ship it, but I still prefer to ignore the Epilogue and anything else that comes after it, if given the choice.

FANDOM RANK (AS OF JUNE 2022): #14

*I came up with these ship names! As much as I dislike The-Play-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, it has a TON of great Scorbus content, so I adapted some Scorbus quotes from the play to work as ship names. For those who are curious, any ship names that I use throughout this book that start with "S.S." or "H.M.S." come from the old fansite FictionAlley S.C.U.S.A. ("Self-Contained Underwater Shipping Apparatus") thread, unless I otherwise specify that I came up them.

Thoughts? Leave them in the comments!

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