Save Me| Yoonmin

9) The Truth

       That was the first time I heard Jimin raise his voice. He always spoke to me in a gentle manner. I looked at him and my heart broke, watching his tears fall with his bottom lip tucked firmly in between his teeth.

I stared at him in shock as he continued to yell at me.

"Yes! At first, I thought about avoiding you just so that these notes would stop! But then, I thought about it. Why should I avoid you because someone else told me to? I made the choice to continue to be around you and that is my decision. No one else can decide that expect me!"

Wow. I didn't know Jimin had this side to him. He always seemed so soft and quiet. Then again, I really don't know anything about Jimin or his life.

Jimin took a deep sigh and I thought that he was done talking. However, I was so wrong. Veins throbbed in Jimin's forehead and his hands balled into little fists. He was definitely pissed.

"And maybe me not avoiding you was a bad choice. Yoongi-Hyung, you said we were just friends literally a day after we had sex. We had sex and suddenly we're just friends?! Am I just ur sex buddy?! Then, does that mean all the things, the story of your family and then your confession to me, was all lies. Huh?! Remember you said that you'd always be there for me?! But ever since I've met you, whenever I'm in my room crying for someone to come hug and comfort me, you're the reason for my tears! Hyung, I'm in so much pain and you no longer seem like a solution anymore. You turned into the problem!"

I stared at Jimin in shock. My head was pounding and my heart ached at the thought of losing my love, Jimin. I needed to fix this but a bunch of chessy 'I love you' lines seemed useless in this situation. Jimin was pissed and I couldn't do anything but listen to him talk about how much of a burden I've become to him.

Suddenly, I remember all the words that were said when we talked in the back of the school. I needed to get Jimin to listen to me but he seemed so far away.

"Jiminie, I love you and I always will be there for you."

Honestly, I couldn't think of anything else to say that might make Jimin feel better. I was losing Jimin and I was trying to save us.

Jimin scoffed.

"Tell me another lie."

I looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

Jimin stopped crying as his eyes widened and his breathing got heavy.

"You're lying every time you say that you 'love' me and that you'll always be with me! Everyone leaves me at some point. I'm not capable of being loved! I'm fat and stupid. I can't do anything right and I can't stick up for myself. I'm a depressed piece of shit and socially awkward. I'm the most unattractive person who attends this school so why would you choice me if it wasn't a joke to you? No one would ever choice me. And that's something that will never change!"

Now, I was angry. Hearing Jimin talk shit about himself pissed me off.

"Jimin, shut the fuck up! Listen to what I have to say for one fucking second. Is that so hard?! Oh, I forget you act on your own accord and believe that you don't deserve anyone. You push away everyone who tries to get close to you. Why is that?!"

Jimin put his hands to his ears in attempt to block me out. But I ran to him and gripped his hands to his side so he couldn't run away. He struggled against me, but I'm much stronger than he was.

"Stop!"

"No! Since I've started, let me finish. You think you're less than everyone cause you weigh more than others? Which might I add is a fucking lie cause look at how skinny you are. You think that just cause you have flaws, you are worthless and unlovable. But that's not true! You mean so much to me that watching you hurt yourself physically and mentally is painful for me. And yes, I love you! I love you more than anything and I'm sorry that I'm the cause of your pain now. I really am! But answer me these few questions. How can you not see how much you mean to me? How can you not see how perfect you are to me?"

That was the last straw for me.

"WHO HATED YOU SO MUCH THAT YOU BEGAN TO HATE YOURSELF?!"

Jimin stopped struggling after I said that last sentence and I loosened my grip on his wrists, thinking that I finally got him to understand me. But once again, I was wrong.

Slap!

I stared in shock at Jimin in front of me. My cheek stung from how hard he slapped me. His tears sparked as they ran from his swollen eyes down his face.

"Just...leave me alone for a while."

Jimin ran out of the music room, leaving me standing there in my own thoughts.

Jimin slapped me. He slapped me.

I feel to my knees and held my head in my hands.

"Jiminie..."

His name seemed to no longer roll off my tongue easily like it used to. Now, it seemed like it was the end. As if I lost something so important. As if I lost my life. My body shook uncontrollably as tears ran down my cheeks.

"No...I lost you too..."
•••••••••
So I still might discontinue this story, I'm still deciding. However, if I keep this story going, this chapter is not the end. There are more chapters to come! Anyhow, PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE AND ALL THAT JAZZ!!! Thanks for reading!!💜💜💜