The Suicidal Girl

•Twenty-Three•

||Addison's POV ||

Smiling when you're unhappy is the worst feeling ever.

But here I was, at Taco Bell, smiling at my best friends, Shane and Lydia as they tell me that they went out on a date last night. Don't get me wrong.. I'm so happy for them, but I'd rather not hear about peoples happy relationship when.. Mine apparently wasn't very happy at all.

I just nod, and smile. I've been doing a lot of that recently, pretending to be happy. And when I'm not pretending I'm crying in my bedroom. "That's great guys, how did it go?" Lydia starts talking about how Shane took her to the carnival in town while I start to drift off.

*ding*

I blink back to reality and check my phone.

To: Addison Paige
From: Unknown

Awe poor Addie, you look so sad, love.
What's wrong, hun ? Relationship gone awry ?

I clear my throat, and close my phone. I look down at the table, holding back tears. Lydia breaks the silence, "Who was that?" I look up at Shane and Lydia, "Oh, just my mom. She wanted to know if I'd be home tonight." They both look at each and nod. I grab my wallet and stand up, "Uhm hey, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later. Love y'all."

I walk out of the building, sobbing. I've been getting texts from this person since Ryan broke up with me. Some small stuff like asking how I am, and how I could be treated better. But then it's like this person gets angry and says I shouldn't be alive, that I should die, and just making me feel like shit.

You deserve it.

I shake my head, and wipe away the tears, ignoring my inner thoughts. I need to get home, I just want to sleep for the rest of my life. I walk the few minutes to my house, and walk in. "I'm home." My mother walks out of the kitchen greeting me with a "Welcome home sweetie." I smile at her and head to my room.

I sit down on my bed and check the time. 16:34 (4:34 pm) I decided to watch YouTube for a while. After a few hours of laying in bed I get a phone call. Hesitantly I answer, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's Lydia. I was wondering if you wanna go to a party with me?"
I roll my eyes, her and Shane have been trying to get me out of the house all summer. "I don't know, my bed is super comfy.."
She groans at me, "Addison Paige you have only left that house about five times this summer, just join us for one party. Just one and we will see how it goes." I think over her words.

Just one, what could go wrong.

"Alright, fine. But just this one, and maybe, MAYBE if it goes good I'll join for another." I hear her squeal through the phone, "Awesome, pick you up in 30!" Then she hung up. I sigh, getting up and walking to my closet. It's summer, so it's going to be roasting.. I grab a pair of ripped up shorts and a black crop top with roses on it. I grab a flannel, wrapping it around my waist in case I get cold. I walk over to the mirror after putting my shoes on, my hair was straightened from earlier and I still had my makeup on. I stared at my body in the mirror.

You've gained some weight.

I furrowed my eyebrows, hurt by my thoughts. I heard my phone buzz indicating that my ride was here. I grab my phone and head down stairs, "I'm going out, see you tomorrow. Love you." As I closed the front door I heard my mother reply with an "Okay, love you too." I walk up to Shane's car and get in the back, closing the door I see them both staring at me. "..What?" I looked back and forth between the two, they looked at each other for a minute until Shane finally spoke up, "You know you can talk to us right Addie?" I nod slowly, letting him continue, "Well, we know something is up, and not just about.. You know who.." I cringe at the thought of Ryan, it hurts too much. "But Addie, what's going on?" I shake my head, "Nothing guys, I'm fine. Just trying to get over Ryan." They look at me and nod their heads, looking unsatisfied with my answer.