Protected

Confession

"What is it?" I asked as I followed him out to the back porch.

"Maya, I- I'm..." his voice broke.

All of a sudden he burst out crying, tears leaking down his beautiful face, his eyes full of such a pain and desperation that I wanted to cry, too. He ran over and grabbed me up, cradling me in his arms and pressing his forehead to mine. I could feel his tears touch my cheeks, and I wanted to help him so, so bad, but I didn't know what to do. I jumped down and shoved him over on the lounge chair. I climbed on him, nestling into his chest and pressing my forehead to his forehead. He opened his sparkling green eyes, which were tortured.

"It's okay, Lucas," I said softly into his cheek, "You don't have to be strong around me. What is it? I'll love you. You could say anything, and I would still love you." I pressed my lips to his and he buried his hands in my hair, forcing me to him. He kissed me with desperation, with an edge, and I could feel his tears on my lips. He clutched at my hair, my face, pressing me to him to suppress the grief of whatever was upsetting him. I let him do this, both of us breathing out of our noses because we didn't want to break the kiss. He pressed me to him by the small of my back, and we lay there like that.

Finally, I pulled away.

"Lucas," I said softly, "You have to tell me what's wrong."

Fresh tears came, streaming down his perfect face. I wiped them away with my lips, tasting the salt, but not caring.

"I killed someone," he whispered into my hair. 

"Who?" I asked, keeping my voice level.

"The Alpha."

I pulled away, shocked.

"How... where... when... why?" I asked.

"We got into a fight. I won, somehow. Back at the Pack House. Yesterday. You," he answered.

I made sense of it all in my head, "You fought with him over me. He found out about us. How?" I asked.

"When you were in the pantry, August heard you make a noise. He told his father, and Matthews Inquired. He found out, and he tried to kill me. But I know what happened to Charlie, and I was ready. I killed him. I killed somebody, Maya! I killed him!" He broke down again and started crying.

"Lucas, Lucas, Listen to me!" I said, kissing him forcefully to get his attention.

"It isn't your fault. It's not like you started the fight. He tried to kill you, and you defended yourself, Lucas. You're not a killer," I whispered that last part to him. He seemed to calm down a little bit.

"Do the guys know?" I asked.

He nodded, "That's why Farkle proposed tonight. I told him it was safe to. They're all fine with it... but they don't know what it was like, taking the life out of someone's body."

"But... August. Won't he pick up, same as his father?" I asked.

"No. August was a coward. He left after his father was killed, to do who knows what." Lucas said.

I finally allowed myself to be at ease.

"Wait... so that makes you..." 

"The Alpha." Lucas said, "I'm the Alpha."