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Dream

I thought that in my dreams I might get a little relief from the Immortality problem.

I was wrong.

First, I dreamed that I was old and wrinkly. I looked disgusting. I had watery eyes and grey hair and my skin looked like it was hanging off my skeleton. Lucas was standing behind me, looking repulsed. It hurt to ever imagine him looking at me that way. He shook his head and walked away. I tried to run after him, but my feet were stuck. I tried to yell his name, but I couldn't say anything. I had to watch his muscular back turn on me as he walked away, walked to someone else, someone younger, someone prettier. He left me. He was disgusted by me.

I thought that would never happen. I never doubted him. But... what if I was wrong? How could he love a gross old lady like me when he was still young and perfect? How could he still want me when there are hundreds, if not thousands, of girls who are younger and prettier and would love Lucas in a millisecond?

He would leave me. 

I was sure of it.

Next, I dreamed about Lucas and I's lives together, if he did age. Us graduating together. Going to college. Moving in together and getting married. Having kids. Watching our kids graduate and go to college and get married. having grand kids. Growing old together.

But, surprisingly, I didn't feel happy and relieved at this vision. I felt incomplete. Troubled. Unhappy. 

One lifetime wasn't enough to love him.

Maybe it would be enough to love someone else, but not Lucas.

I needed forever with him.

I couldn't sit and love Lucas while I aged, and then die, knowingly that it wouldn't be enough for either of us, and we would never get another chance.

I needed longer than my puny lifetime for him. I had to give him more than that.

So, I knew one thing: 

I had to have more than one lifetime.

I had to be immortal, like Lucas.

I had to be a werewolf.