Gone But Not Forgotten

Ch 1 - Dear Journal

Disclaimer: The Selection and all it's characters (that I don't make up) belong to the amazing Kiera Cass. I am merely borrowing the storyline for the reader's entertainment.

Dear Journal,

Maxon told me that the best way to make a decision is to write everything down, or at least as much as you can remember. We have a big decision to make about our children's future. About our families future.

So here it goes. I'll right down as much as I can remember and then hide this book somewhere where nobody will ever find it. Maybe among Gregory Illea's diaries? Queens are supposed to be models for the rest of their kingdom. I can't let anyone see me this weak. I just can't.

The first memory I have of my children was the pain of giving birth to them. Eadlyn had come first, meaning that she would inherit the throne and the stress that I feel everyday. That was the first time my fairytale actually felt real.

My next memory was Eadlyn and Ahren eating PB&J sandwitches and getting peanut butter all over their hands. They had then decided to run down the hall to Maxon's study, leap into his arms, and get peanut butter fingerprints all over Maxon's good suit and desk. Before he could get mad, I reminded him that he told me he wanted peanut butter fingerprints on his desk.

Then Princess Camille de Sauveterre and her parents arrived. They had agreed to come on my request and discuss the rebellious group of Northern Rebels that were living in Whites. When I asked why they had brought their daughter to a meeting discussing rebels, they ignored my question and continued to ask Maxon about local news.

Ahren had an instant crush. It was kinda cute, they way he blushed and instantly volunteered to lead her around the palace grounds. Apparently, according to Ahren, he took Camille to Maxon and my bench in the palace garden. He then offered her a daisy and bragged about his recent adventure with Eadlyn.

Eadlyn didn't accept Camille as easily and quickly. I remember one time when Ahren asked Eadlyn to tell Camille to meet him in the stables so they could go for a ride, and instead of telling Camille to go to the stables, Eadlyn drew an unclear map of the palace that led Camille right back to her own room!

Eventually, Maxon persuaded Eadlyn to go riding with Camille (Eadlyn loves to ride). After talking to Camille, I realized that Eadlyn was just trying to protect her brother's heart. After Camille convinced Eadlyn that she wasn't planning on breaking Ahren's heart, Eadlyn grudgingly became more then acquaintances (but still not friends according to Eadlyn).

Then Kaden was born.

The twins weren't old enough to remember his birth, but I can still remember it clearly. Kaden's birth took a lot longer than the twins birth, causing a haze of fear to be placed on me. Only the joy and comfort of holding him in my arms healed and banished any hesitations or fears that I had of expanding our family. I joyfully embraced my family of five.

Eadlyn and Ahren were very influential in Kaden. They explored the palace together, went on nighttime expeditions to the gardens and created forts out-of chairs and blankets. Whenever Princess Camille came over with her parents, the four of them would plot ways to leave the palace. They once were found in the woods playing family together: Eadlyn and Ahren were the parents, Camille was the sister, and Kaden was the baby (once he grew older he became the pet dog).

Because of Camille and Ahren's longing to see one another, and Eadlyn and Kaden's need to play family again, the French king and queen, King Robert and Queen Lyra, visited often. We forged a very strong alliance because of our children.

The our perfect family was complete with the arrival of Osten.

The twins were now old enough to remember Osten's birth, and Ahren has asked me many times if people celebrated their birth as much as the people celebrated Osten's. Osten's birth was celebrated heavily, with millions of Illeans celebrating late into the night and huge parties were hosted. People sent in baskets of clothes and toys, hoping for a chance that a royal may use them. I reassured Ahren that his birth was celebrated as much as Osten's, but I don't tell him that his was celebrated more. Was it the fact that two royals were being born? Or that an heir and a spare were born at once? I didn't want to find out.

Osten was always his father's child. Whenever his siblings and Camille were planning a night outing, he alerted his father who posted extra guards outside the children's and guest's wing. Whenever Maxon had an important budget meeting to attend, Osten always tried to slip in and listen. Whenever someone was looking for him, the chances are very likely that he was following his father somewhere.

Eventually Maxon had to post a guard to stay with Osten all the time because he was starting to sneak out of the palace to attend meetings in New Asia and France. Because Osten had plenty of experience with sneaking out of the palace to attend business trips, losing one guard wasn't a problem. He became a rebellious child and often snuck his siblings out with him. They stayed out late at night playing family (Osten was now the baby while Kaden was the dog), they climbed the palace walls (for fun) and they met up with some locals from Angeles.

Maxon and I didn't have the heart to punish them, they were just children, what's the harm? But their behavior kept getting worse and worse. They stayed out long through the night and well into the next morning, they climbed out and over the palace walls, and they started staying in the village until we sent a troop of guards to get them.

That was just about the time Silvia came back from traveling the world. She had been invited to observe several royal families in order to understand other customs and traditions so that we could host those families without offending them with our lack of knowledge on their customs. Silvia was horrified in how undignified the children were acting and demanded that she be put in charge of the children and their punishments. We agreed but with two limitations: nothing to harsh, and we had to approve the punishment before it was executed.

Silvia took over teaching the children from Marlee (she was more than happy to hand that job over), took the children's agendas and schedules from Carter (I still don't know why he had that job in the first place), and she personally stayed with the children at all times, or if worst came to worst, sent Marlee, Carter, or Aspen after them.

She definitely improved the children's behavior. She gave them manners lessons (shudder), taught them the history of Illea and the United States of China, and even allowed them to ride during "recess." I have to say, she was pretty compassionate with them, and recognized that they were only kids. Silvia allowed them to leave school to play with Camille at around 3:00 and allowed them to spend extra time riding if they were good.

She changed Osten from a rebel to a jokester, Eadlyn from an unresponsible child to a queen, Kaden from a follower to a knight, and Ahren from a friend of Camille to star-crossed lovers. She taught them confidence and poise. Moral character and definition. Intelligence and bravery. She taught them to be royals.

Now Maxon and I are faced with a choice. Since Eadlyn is the heir to the throne, do we marry her off to some prince? The prince of Spain is nice enough, I guess. Or should we do what we both fear to do, hold a Selection?

My original version of Forgotten is posted in FanFiction.com, but that one has a LOT of grammatical errors (even more than this one).

And just to give you a general idea, I try to aim to make my chapters over 1000 words...nothing too crazy.

XXX—HHL