Gone But Not Forgotten

Ch 6 - Shadow

I can't help it, I gasp. The woman in the mirror is wearing a bright blue dress (my favorite color) with ruffles that form a barrier down her waist and legs. It's a strapless gown, so for once, I feel light and free. Mary walks over to my dresser and put's Maxon's bracelet on my wrist. Not exactly the most expensive piece of jewelry that I own, but important all the same.

A knock sounds on the door. I jump. It's too easy to get lost in my thoughts.

Mary jumps up and opens the door. When she realizes who it is, she curtsies and leaves us in peace.

I glance from the mirror and decide to lighten the mood, "So, you must be my escort. It's about time, you know, my Royal Husbandness awaits me."

He smiles, "Yes my name is Sir Malcom Henry Westland Rit Bloomsbottom. Your Royal Husbandness, as you put it, has hired me to take you to him." I notice that his smile doesn't reach all the way to his chocolate brown eyes.

"How much is he paying you? I'm worth quite a lot to him, or so I'm told," I say with a slight look of disapproval. I'm not sure I'm good at acting.

Maxon (or Sir Malcom Henry Westland Rit Bloomsbottom) doesn't answer me right away, probably thinking of a smart response. Finding none, he sighs in defeat. "Let's just get this over with." Maxon holds out his arm and I take it. Maybe we'll have enough time to talk on the way down.

He leads us out of the room and into the recording studio, where Eadlyn is already siting in her throne. She nods once at us, acknowledging our presence, and then stares off into space, thinking about the Selection. Maxon turns and whispers in my ear, "The council meeting that I attended today was about smoothing over any flaws in our plan. I proposed Eadlyn's idea too. They weren't thrilled, but they all agreed in the end."

I flashed him a look of gratitude. He'll never understand the tight bond between Eadlyn and me. It's kind of like my father's bond with me when I was younger. He was my rock, many years ago, and in turn I am hers.

I hear Gavril walk over and congratulate Eadlyn on her Selection and Maxon on his new son-in-law. He turns to talk to me, and I pray that some miracle will spare me from interrupting my thoughts with small talk. As he clears his throat, the stage manager yells for everyone to take their seats. Thank goodness, saved by the bell. Kinda.

Gavril sits on his chair, while Maxon and I find ours. The stage manager yells for silence and we go live. First Maxon and Gavril talk about normal things, like attacks and riots, until Eadlyn is called to center stage. Gavril walks up, shakes her hand, and leads her to an empty chair in the center. I watch nervously, why am I so nervous?

Gavril starts the ball rolling, "So, princess, I hear that you have big news?" She nods once, and looks pointedly at Gavril. He sighs and continues, "I hear that your parents, the exalted King Maxon and Queen America, have been in meetings all morning. Am I right?" She nods once more and stares at her hands, folded in her lap. "Would you care to aliterate?" She glares at her hands for a moment. My heart burns. Unfortunately, she is too much like me.

Finally, after a couple of seconds of awkward silence, Eadlyn clears her throat and begins, "You all should know by now how my parents met. They had a Selection, as did our king's parents, and their parents, and so forth." She pauses for dramatic effect. "My parents and I have decided that it's time to find a suitable heir for the position of king. We have decided to hold a Selection."

Only Gavril, Eadlyn, Maxon, and I don't gasp. The rest of the studio, and I'm assuming, the rest of the provinces join them. I can imagine the looks on their faces as the news sinks in, especially our brothers of Illea. I can already imagine all the reports that will be waiting to ambush one of us, questioning our bizarre choice.

Eadlyn continues, "Just as my mother was Selected, we will be sending letters and form to each of your administrative offices. They will deliver them to your houses if your house is eligible. We will be looking for boys from ages 17-20." She looks around one more time before concluding her announcement. "We will be doing background checks on each boy that is Selected, so if you have a horrible background or have made unwise choices, beware."

She smiles at the camera one more time, "I look foward to sharing these 35 celebrated brothers of Illea in 2 weeks. Thank you for your patience. I can assure you that everything that my family does is for the best of Illea. Please offer us your full support in this difficult decision." She stands up and walks back to her chair with her back turned to the camera, a frown etched on her face. I wish I didn't have to put her through this.

Gavril closes off the Report quicker than usual and the anthem is played in a hurry. Most of the crew runs out of the room, to tell their families or to deliver the letters, I'm not sure. Eadlyn runs out of the room, a scowl on her face. I know her well enough to know that as soon as she reaches her room, she'll burst into tears.

Maxon looks at me with concern. I clear my throat quietly, "Let's go Maxon, now please." He nods once, concern still framed on his face. I follow him slowly, still looking around the studio.

There are a couple of men packing up equipment, and some council members are still standing in the back. I notice Nobrey and Emma and wave to them slowly. They notice my grim expression and walk over.

"What's wrong?" asks Nobrey concern filling her face. I struggle to find the right words. How can I describe the pain I feel from bearing the weight of the country? Or the fire for my daughter? Or the feeling of drowning?

Emma looks at me once. "I think we should leave Queen America alone, for now. She's looking quite strained. Maybe she just needs some time in her room alone to recover." I smile gratefully at Emma. We may not be friends yet, but I could definitely see us walking that trail.

"Thank you ladies for your concern, but I really just want to be alone now." Nobrey nods, but I can still see hesitation in her eyes. Emma flashes a satisfied look at Nobrey and drags her along to the back of the room where a couple other council members are talking quietly.

I turn around and find Maxon waiting by the door for me. I hurry over just as he opens the door. I pause and breathe for a moment before stepping into the hallway. All fears and hesitations are left behind in the studio. For the first time in weeks, I actually feel like my old, free self again.

For a moment I see blond and red hair, rushing to get to dinner. Marlee and I, when were younger and freer. Now I feel worn and thin.

A shadow of myself.