Gone But Not Forgotten

Ch 4 - At That Moment

I nod my thanks to the council members who argued my point while Maxon announces our leave. "Thank you everyone who shared what you thought was the best for Illea. Even if you're argument wasn't selected, no pun intended, you stood up for one of our brothers or sisters who doesn't have a voice." He nods once at Mark, takes my hand, and we rise from the table.

Once the big doors are closed, Maxon breathes a sigh of relief and I relax my posture. "So, how was the meeting, America?" Maxon asks as he offers me a small smile.

I look deep into those chocolate brown eyes and answer honestly, "You owe me a lot of strawberry tarts, young man," I say with a scowl. "And I will never, ever say a speech in front of the council again. Could you tell I was just winging it?"

He looks at me in disbelief. "Just winging it? America, my dear, you spoke from the heart. That's better than any prepared speech in the world."

A laugh bubbles in my throat and I say in reply, "You still cannot call me 'your dear,' especially because you call your daughter the same thing."

The laughter dies in his eyes as he looks at me fearfully, "Do you think we're doing the right thing for Eadlyn? Or are we doing the right thing for Illea?"

The slides off my face, "I think their both the same thing, in this case," I whisper. I raise my voice and say, "Now I think it's time to tell Eadlyn the news...I'm kinda fearing for my life, to tell you the truth."

He smiles, "Well, if she grabs you and pins you down, I'll wrestle her off of you."

I laugh at the thought, "Well, thats reassuring! So, what are we waiting for? To Eadlyn's room and certain doom!"

Unlike our slow waltz towards the council room, we rush down the hallway, excited for the prospect of new happiness in our family tinged with fear and sadness.

We both pause at the same time outside Eadlyn's room. I put my ear to the door and hear faint laughter from the other side from one of her maids. I whisper in Maxon's ear, "Alright, let me go first so we can have a 'girl talk.'" He nods once and I open the door.

Eadlyn is laying on her bed, laughing, while her maid tells her some castle gossip. I quietly walk over and touch the maid's shoulder and say, "You may go." She curtsies and opens the door just as Maxon walks in. Eadlyn, meanwhile, starts to realize that something is wrong.

"Who died?" she asks with an alarmed look on her face.

I look at Maxon in confusion, then I realize that Maxon's wearing all black and small grimace is etched on my face. I mouth: 'You're clothes', and he catches on.

"Nobody died, Eadlyn. We were just at a council meeting," Maxon explains with a small smile.

She looks me over once more, "Why did you two attend a council meeting? Only one of you needs to be present."

I offer an answer this time, "It was a very important meeting, we needed all the options we could get. That includes both your father and I." I can see Maxon nodding out of the courner of my eye, confirming what I just said.

"So why did you come and see me?" she asks with a confused smile. I wince. Usually Maxon and I don't have time to pay special attention to our children. I had always felt particularly bad about that, since my mother did an excellent job of paying special attention to each of us individually. Before I can feel too guilty, Maxon continues, "Well, dear, you know how your mother and I met..." He trails off, unsure what to say next.

Eadlyn breaks the silence, "Well of course I do. You to are practically a fairytale!" she exclaims. A fairytale. The perfect description to this messed up love, which, oddly enough, still has a happy ending. "Oldest child in the room, remember!" Eadlyn interrupts my thoughts.

"Sorry, sweetie," I say with a small smile. "Anyway, we just had a council meeting to discuss, well, your future husband. The council, your father, and I have come to an agreement that we should hold a Selection." I pause waiting for a flurry of questions, but hear none.

I glace up. Eadlyn is staring at us with a frozen face of horror. Then she doubles over laughing. "Haha, a Selection," she weases between breaths. "Very funny joke!" I glance at Maxon in alarm. She notices my expression and adds, "It is a joke, right?"

"Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry," Maxon starts at the same time Eadlyn says, "Can you please go now?"

I rise slowly to my feet, Maxon right behind me, and add, "Darling, I wish it was a joke." She glances once at me, nods in disbelief, and stares at the mattress. It wasn't until Maxon firmly closed the door that the crying started.

At that moment I felt like the worst mother in the world.

* * * *

I wake up with Maxon's arms firmly around me. One little bird chirps outside my window, an omen that today must be a good day. Then, the events from yesterday flood back, like a dam that has just been released. I do the only logical (and possible) thing to do, I cry.

Maxon stirs next to me, and sits up in alarm when he realizes what I'm doing. His strong arms embrace me, pulling me towards his chest. I do the only thing that makes me feel better, I bury my face into his chest until the sobs cease.

I have to give Maxon credit, taking into account that crying girls make him nervous, he is handling this situation well. He runs his fingers through my hair, rubs circles on my back, and whispers in my ears. When all the water has drained away, I sit up and stare into his chocolate-brown eyes with my red and puffy ones.

"What's wrong, my dear?" he pauses for a moment. "It's Eadlyn, isn't it." I nod, not quite reaching his eyes. "You know I would do anything for you, America, right?" Again, I nod. "Well, I'll do all that's in my power to make her willingly agree to the Selection."

I laugh dryly, "Good luck with that one."

He smiles in reply, "I wonder where she got that from?" He says with mock seriousness.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I answer, but I feel a small smile creeping up on my face.

"Excuse me, can you please remind me who wouldn't sleep with a maid at night so I had to post a personal guard, assulted me on one of our first dates, constantly argued with me, and nearly fainted on their first night at the palace?" says Maxon with a sly grin.

I put my hands above my head in surrender, "Fine, you caught me."

He smiles and replies, "But seriously, I will do everything in my power to make this as painless as possible."

"I know you will. Just please, give her a chance to be herself," I answer, seriously this time. Maxon nods seriously and gets out of bed.

He paused one more time with his hand on the doorknob, to offer me a small smile. That small smile warms me from the inside, a sign that no matter what, he will always be there to support and hold me.