Gone But Not Forgotten

Ch 10 - Escalating

Zoe offers me a small smile as she finishes my hair. I realize that even though I barely even know this girl, I completely trust her. Mary's return from my closet jars me from my thoughts when I observe my dress. It's beautiful: a sleeveless purple gown that flows down in a flower-like shape with a modest neckline.

Once Audrey places my crown on my head, I realize that this is the moment when I'll be meeting my daughter's future husband. This moment, this one dinner, will prove to Maxon and I if these boys have what it takes to become the next leader of Illea. I grimace, remembering Pasily, the boy who could've won Eadlyn's heart if she hadn't been so rash.

What about the other boys? Pasily took his elimination as a joke, but I'm sure that some of the other boys probably didn't. How far would they have gotten in the Selection if Eadlyn had given them a chance? Will they hate my family because they lost a life that could've been theirs?

I let out a quiet breath. This isn't even my Selection! Why am I stressing so much? All the same...does Eadlyn really know what she's doing...?

Ouch. The pain from within increases for a moment, leaving me breathless. The mirror is becoming blurry too...

"Miss? Are you alright?" Zoe's concern drags me out of the pain for a moment, and I catch my breath. I musn't ruin this day for Eadlyn and Illea. I take a deep breath and put on a smile. I nod towards the door, signaling that I want my maids to leave, and stare at the mirror until they do.

It's only when I'm alone that I allow the pain to wash over me in waves.

* * * *

Mary's gentle knocking on the door arouses me. I feel as I have been sitting in pain for days, but in reality, it's only been a couple of minutes. I take a deep breath and call out in a clear voice, "Come in." I arrange my face into a relaxed expression and wordlessly watch Mary enter the room.

She stares at me in silence until she speaks up and says, "Miss, they're waiting for you downstairs. Better hurry, King Maxon looked a bit worried that you aren't already downstairs." I silently cursed under my breath. If Maxon knew I was experiencing these pains, he would lock me in the infirmary against my will.

I offer Mary a small smile, "Please tell King Maxon that I'll be right down to dinner." She nods once, still not convinced that I'm alright, and before she leaves I call out, "Mary, please don't tell Maxon that I'm not feeling 100%, Honestly, I don't feel that bad, and I don't want him worrying over something so small." Mary nods again, but I can tell that I haven't completely earned her trust. I must be careful.

Mary quietly closes the door behind her and I turn to look in the mirror. "Come on, America," I whisper to no one in particular, "You've never been very good at acting, but you musn't let Maxon suspect anything. I can do this, I know I can." And at that moment, I really felt some truth in my little speech in front of the mirror.

* * * *

I hurry down the hallway (quicker than what is appropriate for a queen), and lance my hand in Maxon's. He turns and offers me a small smile, but stays quiet. The Selected boys are just on the other side of the door, no doubt already in their seats, waiting for Maxon and I to make our entrance. Silvia walks up, nods to Maxon, and together we make our entrance.

The dinning room has changed overnight. Gone is the one lonely table that used to sit by itself in the middle of the room, and now in it's place is a large table, the exact one I used in the Selection many years ago. At the head of that table, is a tall table, much taller than our usual eating area, with enough spaces for Maxon, Eadlyn, Ahren, Kaden, Osten, and I.

As Maxon and I enter, a crowd of boy's stares find their way to us. I hope I'm not blushing. I hold Maxon's hand all the way to our table, and as we pass one boy, Henri is his name (I think), he whispers something that I don't understand to the boy sitting next to him. The boy next to him nods and says something else in this strange tongue. As Henri's neighbor looks up, I realize that I don't recognize him from the Selected boys. He smiles at me and then looks down at his plate as if he were wishing for food to appear. I silently laugh, remembering my first breakfast with Maxon when I could hardly contain the grumbling of my stomach.

I sit slightly to Maxon's left at the tall table and he stares patiently at the door as if waiting for something. Suddenly a wave of stress washes over me, and I can hardly keep from screaming. The blackness that sometimes appears along with the burning in my heart rises up and threatens to cloud my vision. I can already feel my heart beginning to speed up...

I decide to count mentally to keep my mind off the stress. At exactly 564, Eadly walks in, flustered, with her siblings. Ahren looks like a shadow to Eadlyn, huddling threatenly around her and staring down any of the Selected boys that take a double-take. Kaden looks excitedly around the room taking in the new decorations and new style of the room. Osten, well, he just looks bored.

They all take their respective places around the table just as the kitchen staff walks in. They personally deliver baskets of bread to the two tables and bring out the lobster dinner. I shudder on the inside. I hate lobster because it always seems to be looking at me. Maxon smiles at me and when we realizes what we are having, he whispers something to a chef standing near him. The chef returns back with a bowl of leftover soup that we had last night, and I smile gratefully at the chef and Maxon. Inside, though, I'm still worried. It's not like Maxon to forget that I don't like lobster.

The food is delicious, and I debate asking for more when a guard walkes in with a grimace on his face.

I recongnize him as the captain of the guard, but what worries me the most isn't his face, it's his hands. As I inspect them more closely through the corner of my eye, I realize that his hands are covered in blood. He leans over to whisper in Maxon's ear, and I strain to hear some of the conversation, "Your Highness, I'm sorry to intrude on this momentous occasion for your family, but I'm afraid I have some bad news. One of Queen America's maids, Caroline, was found dead outside the palace gates."