Don't Close Your Heart (Ville Valo Fan Fic)

Chapter Nineteen

A few days later

I take a deep breath and head inside. "Ville!" I call as I shut the door. No reply. I walk into the living room. There are clothes and dishes scattered about. I narrow my eyes as I head towards Ville's room. More clothes litter the hallway. An empty bottle of wine is leaning against the broken door. I move the door and walk into his room. The room is a mess.

Clothes, broken furniture and alcohol bottles in various stages of emptiness are scattered about. Ville is nowhere to be seen. I leave his room and head to my room. I open the door slowly, dreading what I might find.

Besides a few empty bottles, my room is spotless. A lump is lying on my bed. I sigh, walk over and sit down on my bed. I place my hand on the lump.

"Ville, babe, wake up," I say softly. He moves, mumbles something and goes back to sleep. I reach over and take the wine bottle from him and set it on my nightstand. I shake him a little.

"Ville, please wake up." He rolls over and opens his eyes, but I don't think he sees me. I lay my hand on his cheek.

"Babe, it's me, Skylar." He mumbles something and blinks a few times. He looks up at me. "Sky?" Hope fills his eyes. I smile and nod. "It's me, baby. I'm home." He smiles but it falls. He lays his head in my lap, wraps his arms around my waist tightly and starts bawling. He apologizes over and over, but his words start running together, making it hard to understand him. I just run my hand through his hair. It feels like he hasn't washed it since I left. Ville reaches for my hand and I lace our fingers together. His knuckles are bloody. My throat tightens and I start crying.

"I did this to him. I made him drink and break stuff. I made him hurt himself. I don't deserve him, but if leaving him for a few days did this, I can't imagine what leaving him for good would do. But why am I even thinking about leaving him? I love him. He means the world to me, and it's killing me that I did this to him. I love him."

"Ville, babe, we need to talk," I say softly. He shakes his head and mumbles something.

"I can't understand you when you talk into my vagina," I say, hoping to make him laugh. He sits up and raises his hands to his face. He stops and just stares at them, like he didn't realize they are bloody. "He probable didn't," I think to myself.

"Come on, let's get them washed and pray they aren't infected," I say softly. I stand up and take his wrist, gently pulling him towards me. He gets off the bed and follows without a word. I lead him to the bathroom.

I turn on faucet and guide Ville's hands into the stream of water and clean them. They aren't infected, thank goodness. I turn the water off and wrap his hands in a towel. I then turn on the shower and start undressing Ville.

"What are you doing?" he asks, finally snapping out if his trance. "You need a shower," I tell him. "I'm not a child. I can undress myself," he snaps. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Be patient, Skylar. He's drunk, just remember that."

"Then undress, get in the shower and wash yourself like an adult would do." I turn to leave. He grabs my wrist.

"Please don't go," he whispers. I nod and sit on the bathroom sink. He undresses and gets in the shower, not bothering to close the curtain. I grab a nail file and work on my nails while I wait. I see out of the corner of my eye Ville get out, walk over to the sink, grab a toothbrush, put toothpaste on it then get back into the shower.

"Maybe he's not as drunk as I thought he was," I think. I raise my hand and act like I'm inspecting but really I'm looking at Ville. He has his back to me.

"I don't know what I should say. I know he's in a fragile state right now, even though he doesn't act like he is. All I want to do it go over, hug him and tell him how sorry I am, but I don't know how he'll react. I'm so confused." I sigh and put the file back. The water shuts off and Ville gets out. He grabs a towel and dries his hair then his body. I try my best not to, but I end up staring anyways. He glances up and I look away. I know I am blushing.