Am I Transgender or Lesbian

Him

Well this is me being weirdly selfish.

David was sad and kind of depressed for about a grand total of a week after we broke up, and after that he's been just fine though we haven't been the same since.
He got over me; fast.

In all given accounts, it is best that he no longer harbors feelings for me. And I am, I really am glad that he's okay, though for some reason I have a bit of pain thinking about it.

David didn't just get over me, but he has also gotten himself a new girlfriend. Which for the most irrational of reasons, makes me feel strange.
And I don't know why I feel so strange about it. I'm such a damn bad friend. I should be ecstatic, absolutely over the moon, happy and excited for him; and I am, I really am, but I can't help feeling a pang of unhappiness as well.

I'm not angry at him at all, I really am proud that he just shrugged off our relationship and started again, I think that's great I really do.  He hasn't done anything wrong at all.

Recently, since our break-up actually, nothing has been the same. Our conversations are stilted and few words exchanged within the time frame of a half an hour in between. And I'm not used to that. When we were dating, we would speak all of the time and I admit it took a toll on me, but he's clingy and I got used to it and embraced it. Now, we barely speak at all. Even before we dated, our conversations were fantastic. It's only after breaking up that our conversations broke as well.

I've tried. I told him how much I miss him. I told him how whenever I'm bored or sad or anything really, I always read back on the conversations we've had in the past. I've told him how much I adore him and value our friendship. And he always answers that he does as well, but it does nothing to change back to how we used to communicate. We haven't had a phone call in months, and when I told him so he said that we could call right then. I was so excited and picked up at his call, but it only lasted for five minutes. And we've never ever had a conversation by phone so short. Our phone calls used to last anywhere from two hours to four, or when I was on my way to college we'd call for a half an hour.
This five minute phone conversation was different then we've had until then. He wasn't distant, on the contrary, he was bubbly and loud and I barely got a word in. Without prior notice he suddenly said that he had to go, said goodbye, and hung up. I sat on my bed, holding the phone in the same position for a long time.

He's gotten his life somewhat more together. He's busier than I've seen him all year. And, well, heck, it's summer. But he has no time for me and doesn't seem too affected by that fact at all.

And he got his new girlfriend yesterday, and somehow I feel....I don't really know the right word. Because I really am thrilled for him that he's gotten someone new, someone who likes him the way he likes them, and I'm also rather selfishly hurt for myself.

I can't say that I'm jealous, I can't say that I'm angry and hurt, because how can I be? I never liked him romantically to begin with. But somehow, I feel a bit letdown all the same.

I think that the reason I feel this way, has nothing to do with him. I think I feel unhappy because he moved on so fast. I'm sad because he never really liked me for me, but he liked me tremendously because I gave him endless attention, encouragement,  support, and advice. I'm sad because I feel as if I don't have any worth. That I'm not worth a second thought when not dating me. And yeah, maybe it isn't completely true, but I feel that, and I can't help it.

I know that I'm blowing it out of proportion. And I know that he isn't doing it to hurt me. And I know that I'm thinking selfishly. And I know that I should just get over myself. And I'm going to try to do just that.
In the meantime, I'm going to be happy as I can for their new relationship, and I hope nothing else changes more than everything already has to mine and his friendship.