Reality Over Expectation

First Date Butterflies

First Date Butterflies

This week was amazing, which made up for my dramatic vacation time. Training might have been harder, but it was worth it because I am moving on up! But not even the thrill of being able to debut again was the highest point of my week, tonight was. Hanging out with Jason this week had been amazing, we have a lot more in common than I previously thought, but there were still enough differences to keep my interest flowing. Jason wasn’t mysterious like Corey or over-zealous like CJ. In fact, the three of them couldn’t be any of the different, and thats what made Jason a keeper. Jason was actually the stereotypical romantic comedy heartthrob; great hair, smile, athletic, a sweetheart, and a go-getter. Jason may have well been the perfect man, but he had his flaws and I was glad to see he didn’t try to constantly mask them, which made him even better. Some girls might easily put him in the friendzone, because of how nice he is, but I was so done with the brooding and womanzier types, I wanted a nice guy and Jason was that guy.

I had an hour left before our date, and the most I did to get ready was take a shower and flat iron my hair. I had a plan in my head: I knew exactly what to wear, what makeup to put on, and how to do my hair, my plan was foolproof! Or so I thought. I typically don’t get this worked up over dates. Sure, sometimes I’ll have a minor anxiety attack but I usually just give myself a few slaps in the face and then I’m fine. But this was not the case, at all. When Jason texted me this morning and told me semi-formal I almost freaked out! Semi-formal is the worst thing to tell me. Like what does that mean? I’m not supposed to go all out, but still look nice. Could I wear jeans, could I not? How much makeup is too much makeup for semi-formal? I had no idea. And the fact he said semi-formal and we were going to dinner, well that added even more to my anxiety. Semi-formal for a dinner date, means the place must be legit. “So that probably means jeans are a no.” I said under my breath.

I am about to scream! I am sitting in my hotel room with 3 perfectly good outfits, that I bought just this morning. I know, I am an awful person. I spent about $500 on clothes, shoes, makeup and accessories all for a dinner date. Each outfit was adorable, but I didn’t know what to wear. I bought a beautiful peach romper, adorable navy blue lace midi dress, and a sassy creme maxi with a sheer lace bodice. I even managed to buy peach pumps, to match perfectly with the romper! “Thats it!” I said outloud. “I don’t need to match, I just need to look fabulous!”

I grabbed my romper, and I was about to put it on I realized my legs weren’t exactly smooth. Razor time! I ran to the bathroom, ran some hot water and got my razor and shaving cream. I was done in about five minutes, which was record time for me. I hastily put on some lotion, Dark Kiss from Bath and Body Works, and rushed back to my romper. I unbuttoned it and swiftly put my legs through the holes. “Deodorant, Bianca!” I screamed. This was probably the fifth time I put deodorant on today, to be honest. I hurried to finish putting on the romper and then grabbed the heels and slipped them right on my feet. I grabbed the bag of accessories and makeup and headed to the bathroom. I might have been short on time, but makeup was one thing I did not rush. I washed my face thoroughly, manually scrubbing each individual pore. I then rubbed the moisturizer all over my face. Next I took out my primer, and gently brushed it onto my face. I decided to skip foundation today, because my face looked oddly unblemished, and I also didn’t want to look like a birthday cake. I proceeded onto adding a tiny bit of concealer to cover up my dark circles, which I tended to get when I stressed too much. Now that my face was primed, I was ready to apply the details. I decided to go with a peach blush, which often complimented my skin tone anyway. I wanted a dramatic eye, so I chose to use liquid eyeliner for a more bold effect. After I was done with my eye makeup, I moved onto my lips adding a bright red lip, which was sort of like my trademark. Now that I was done to makeup, it was time for hair. I didn’t flat iron it often, because I loved my fro. But tonight, I felt different, and I wanted to put it in an updo which was almost impossible with a giant afro. I took out my most prized styling tool, the sock bun, and proceeded to putting my hair in a high bun.

Looking into the mirror, I was awestruck by my creation. I don’t remember the last time I put this much effort into a date. Even when I was with CJ, my signature red lips were just a faint red tint. I never tried to look this good, mainly because I didn’t think I had anyone to impress. CJ and I were friends before we dated, not close friends, but we were certainly more than acquaintances. But with Jason, even though we spent the whole week together, we were just a little more than strangers. I never talked to him before Monday, but now I was going around like a girl asked to her first prom by her crush since preschool. I had butterflies in my stomach, that I never felt with anyone or anything else. I was getting worked up over a date, and I didn’t even know where we were going. I just knew that I wanted to impress Jason, and show him that I am willing to give over a 100% to be with him. I wanted Jason to like me, even more than I wanted Corey to admit his feelings. When I was with Jason, I didn’t feel a rollercoaster of emotions, I only felt pure joy.

When I heard the knock on my door, my heart nearly skipped two beats. I looked at the time, Jason was 10 minutes early, what a gentlemanly thing to do. I put on my bracelet and necklace, and took a deep breath before approaching the door.