There was no way to avoid it anymore. I couldn't say no anymore. But I wasn't sure, I felt insecure, I didn't want him to see my body. He always said I was flawless but he didn't knew, he never saw the little fat I had on my sides, or the scars, or the imperfections, he didn't knew what he was talking about and I was so scared of him finding out. "I love you Y/N, no matter what" Jongin said between kisses, it was as if his lips couldn't leave the skin of my lips, and truth to be said, I didn't want them to stop. "Jon-Jongin w-wait.." I muttered, pulling him a little bit closer, as I ran my fingers through his soft black hair. "I-I don't think... I can't.."
It was kind of stupid to stop in that moment, we were already laying in bed, kissing and touching a little, we were closer than we ever have but I was really scared, not because of the fact that it was going to be our first time, but the thought of him seeing my body, not liking me with my bare skin, really tormented me. "What's wrong jagi? You've been avoiding this for months.." His voice broke a little, his eyes told me he was a little desperate, probably clueless or thinking this was his fault.
"I'm scared oppa.. I'm scared of taking my clothes off". I whispered, feeling the side of my bed sink with his heavy body laying next to me. "But why? Jagi I love you, you love me... and this is an act of love, right?" He laid on his side, facing me as I stared at the ceiling, heavy breathing, nervous and anxious but scared. I wanted this as much as he did but something always stopped me. "Just look at you... you are beautiful Jongin.. with your bare chest and your skin shining with the moonlight. And then here I am terrified with the thought that you might be scared after you see what is under my shirt.."
Getting on top of me, kissing my lips once again, Jongin started unbuttoning my shirt, gliding his hands down my sides and trailing kisses from my lips to my belly. "What are you talking about?" He said as if he was in a rush. "I don't see what you are so scared of, look at this" He pointed to my belly. "It's beautiful, all of you. I love you, now hush and let me show you, how much my body needs you"
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