Married and Trying to Keep it Together

Chapter Nineteen

I stared at Cordell not knowing what to say. In front of me was Sapphire's birth mother. I never thought I would ever have this problem or be face to face with this woman. My body was completely frozen at this point. What was I supposed to say to this woman? They were both looking at each other as if they were getting ready to kill each other. I wish I was back in my car.

"Why is she here," I asked looking at Cordell then back at whoever this woman is. "Did you call her or something?"

Cordell jumped up knocking down a pillow in the process. "Why the hell would I do that?!" His voice strong and tensed which indicated he was very pissed. Usually I would warn him about having this kind of tone with me, but considering the situation I was going to let him slide.

"Okay then. Why is she here?"

"My name is Clara," the woman said. I looked at her smiling.

"Ok Clara why are you here?"

She followed Cordell and got up. She put on her serious face making her lips go tense and her body stiff. Obviously she and Cordell were trying to see who gave off the most power. I used to wonder if the two of them would ever reconnect if they ever ran into each other again, but now I had my answer. These two people were definitely not meant for each other.

"I am here because I want to be in my daughter's life."

"You should've thought about that when you dropped my daughter off at my doorstep like she was nothing!" Cordell yelled. Clara flinched taking a step back. I had never seen Cordell this upset before. I had to admit it was kind of hot. Yes, I was worried about Clara's safety but that was her problem. She knew the kind of guy she was before she came here.

"I was scared Cordell. I didn't want a child then. I wasn't ready."

Cordell walked up to her getting in her face. "Well don't worry cause now you don't have one."

Before she could respond footsteps rang throughout the house. Soon Sapphire appeared smiling wide. She was so oblivious to what was going on, which was all because of her.

"Mommy you're home!" she ran to me wrapping her tiny arms around my waist tight. I patted her back kissing her on the top of her head.

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yes, I even had daddy check it for me. He said I was getting really good." She smiled and looked at Cordell.

"That's good lady bug."

"Mommy will you come play with me? The twins are playing with Noah and I'm bored." She pouted knowing that it works every time. Clara stepped closer to Sapphire which made Sapphire grip my waist even tighter.

"You're beautiful." Sapphire looked at Clara then back at me stepping behind me a little.

"Who is she mommy?" I looked at Cordell not knowing what to say or do. Was I supposed to tell her the truth or was I supposed to lie. Cordell just shrugged just pacing the floor. Well he was some help. I was not ready for this. One minute I was being yelled at by Noah then I was managing whether not to tell my ten year old daughter about her birth mother.

"Sapphire this your birth mother," Cordell finally said cutting my panicking off. Sapphire looked mat Clara for a minute as if studying her. Clara on the other hand was losing it. It was obvious she wanted Sapphire to like her.

Sapphire looked back at me, "So are you going to play with me mommy?"

"Yea, go to your room and I'll be there in a minute."

"Ok mommy." She let go of my waist then ran upstairs without even glancing at Clara again. I wish I could run upstairs with her. Clara was visibly hurt. And Cordell was still obviously still pissed.

"You need to go now," Cordell said stepping back a little from her.

"She is my daughter Cordell."

"I'm not going to say it again Clara." She sighed looking at me then nodded turning to leave. When the door finally closed I felt like I could finally breathe. The air was still tense but at least I could breathe. I just wanted to know what would happen now. We couldn't just put Clara in the jar on the shelf and never open her again, we had to figure this out.

Cordell stormed out of the room going into the kitchen. I followed knowing that the trouble was just beginning. I was still trying to figure out what just happened.

I found Cordell drinking a beer by the fridge. His body was still tense. "Maybe we should give her a chance."

He stopped what he was doing, "What the hell are you talking about?"

I shrugged, "Maybe we should give Sapphire the chance to if she wants to get to know Clara." Before I could regain my thoughts he slammed the beer bottle down on the counter shattering the bottle into tiny pieces. I screamed stepping back.

"There's no way in hell I'm letting that woman near my daughter!"

Okay now I was pissed. I stepped closer to him this time not giving a damn about the broken glass pieces on the floor. "Sapphire is my daughter too, not just yours."

"Then how about this, I'm not letting that woman near our daughter." He walked out making sure to pound the floor with each step. I looked at the broken glass on the floor then back out the kitchen.

Was I wrong for thinking Sapphire should maybe get to know her birth mother? Of course I didn't want Clara thinking she could replace me as Sapphire's mother, but Sapphire did have the right to have the choice. Cordell was being very closed minded and I just thought giving Clara a chance was fair enough.

I sighed remembering Sapphire was waiting for me. I made it to her room and found her coloring at her desk. I walked in and sat on her bed. My mind was still going around in circles. So much was happening today.

"How are you holding up lady bug?"

"What did she want?"

I looked down not knowing what to say. "She wanted to get to know and spend time with you."

"I already have a mother," she said not looking up. She was turning out to be more like Cordell every day.

"Yes, you do." I smiled glad to know how she felt.

"Okay."

"But lady bug I do think you should give Clara a chance." I knew Cordell would not approve of what I was doing but I felt strongly about this. Clara might have fucked up in the past but that shouldn't determine what happened in the future.

She looked up from her coloring book, "Why? I have you."

"I know that but she's your birth mother. Maybe you should give her a chance."

"I don't want to."

"I know this may be hard for you lady bug, but I want you to at least talk to her."

In an instant she dropped her crayon and looked up at me. I had seen that look before. "No, I don't want to and I don't have to listen to you because you're not even my real mother." She then got up and left just as Cordell had done to me a few minutes before. And again I sat there shocked by what just happened. I never thought I would hear those words from her. First Noah and now Sapphire. I just seemed to be screwing up left and right.

I sighed and put and my head in my hands. I just wanted to be helpful. Maybe I just needed to stop trying to help everyone. I just needed to focus on my own children and leave the rest to Cordell.

I got up and went into my own bedroom. I plopped down on the bed sighing out loud. I was lost at this point. I just needed to stop trying.

Cordell came and sat next to me. I really didn't feel like going through anymore. I just wanted to curl up and sleep the night away, and maybe the day.

"I'm sorry for snapping on you. It's just that, that woman gets under my skin." I just nodded.

"Well you were right."

"I was?" I nodded again letting the tears stream down for the second time this week. I couldn't take much more of this.