Married and Trying to Keep it Together

Chapter Twenty

I was super tired today from work. Everything for the launch of my line was coming together but there was still a lot to do. Usually the stress of work would drive me mad but in this case I would take the stress of work over the pain of home. Coming home to two kids that hate my guts and a husband that thinks my opinion is absurd, isn't exactly something I was rushing home to. The twins of course have no idea about what's going on but soon they would. I would do my best to stay at work as long as I could so I wouldn't have to come home, which is just horrible. I just couldn't take the pain right now.

I walked into my bedroom and took off my four inch magenta pumps letting my feet breathe. I went to the mirror and pulled up my hair. I sighed putting both of my hands on the dresser.

"You've been working late a lot lately." I looked up through the mirror to see Cordell standing behind me. I hadn't really spoken to him since Clara showed up. He was another level far from me. I would try to get close but he would just shut me out.

"Well two kids in this house hate me and my husband still thinks my opinion is wrong so right now I rather work than be here where I'm not wanted."

I unzipped my floral dress and moved around him to go into the closet. I slipped the dress off of my body and replaced it with a black t-shirt and matching black shorts.

"Sapphire doesn't hate you and Noah is just going through a tough time right now."

"Sapphire said I wasn't even her real mother to my face like it was nothing, and far as Noah is concerned he was probably right. If I would've left him where he was his father wouldn't know where he was."

"Just give them time."

"That's exactly what I'm doing. I have a lot of work to do for my line so I will be working late, which means I won't be in the house and neither you nor they will have to see me."

I closed the closed the closet and moved around him to leave the bedroom. It might be wrong to abandon ship and run but I couldn't take this pressure. I needed to some air because I felt like I was drowning.

Cordell grabbed my arm turning me to face him then grabbed my other arm as well. "We may fight but don't you ever think that means I don't want you around. I love you and no matter what I will always be on your side." He kissed me on my forehead and hugs me tight. I nuzzled my head into his chest trying to hold onto some hope. I was hoping things would get better. I was hoping that someday our house would be full of four laughing kids that I would be happy to come home to.

I hadn't since this morning so I was in the kitchen making myself a grilled cheese sandwich. "Can I have one," Kaden asked coming into the kitchen.

"Your dad already made you dinner."

"Yes, but I want a grilled cheese now," he pouted making puppy dog eyes. I laughed shaking my head at him.

"Go get the bread and cheese, and then go ask your brother if he wants one too because you know once you have something he will want one too." He rushed around the kitchen gathering the stuff and brought it to me. He was sliding all over the kitchen in his socks laughing. I loved moments like these. In the mist of things it as easy to forget the twins but when you remembered them, it was magical. They were my miracle babies and I loved them.

He then ran out of the kitchen to ask Jaden if he wanted some too. Usually I would tell him to stop running in the house but at this point I was enjoying watching him have fun. I wanted to run with him so I could forget my troubles as well. Being a kid was so hard to get back to. Once adulthood hit, that was it. You couldn't turn the table and be six again. I wanted to be six again.