My Creative Writing Journal

Something Offensive

(We were suppose to write about something that offends us, but I didn't want to rant about things that bother me, and I didn't want to hurt anyone else with my opinions, and so I chose the most random thing I could think of and wrote a fake rant as if it seriously offended me)

You know what I find offensive? Platypi. What even is a platypus? It has a beak or bill or whatever and lay eggs but it's a mammal. They're like some strange combination of beaver and duck with supposedly poisonous claws on their webbed paws. As if God ran out of ideas for animals so He threw random parts and traits in a box, shook it up, and dumped out the platypus. Not to mention its name is just about as atrocious as the beast itself. Sure, platypi may be cute, fluffy little creatures that you want to hug and keep as pets, but you have to admit they're weird! They'll probably bill-bite your face or poison-claw your arms if you try to pick them up! I'm not exactly sure where the platypus is found, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were in the Outback of Australia with all the other weird and strangely deadly creatures that thrive there. I don't even think platypi have a defined predator-prey relationship. They're just there like the unnatural freaks of nature they are. One day, if I ever see a platypus, I'll be sure to get a picture just to make sure they even exist.

(I don't actually hate the platypus, and upon sudden research as of typing this, I learned they actually are indeed from Australia!)