L . Laufeyson ★ Loki X Reader Oneshots

XV. TomXReader. It'll come up eventually

▷notes: I lost the orignal request, i know i know. nice going Eira

▷ "It feels like i'm alone when i'm with you."

"I think we need to work on this thing or else i'm not sure i can... We aren't very good at this so maybe we should take a break...i don't mean a break break i mean we should try and- no that's not right."

You sighed, your eyes glancing back up to the large mirror you had just stopped pacing in front of. This had been long since coming months ahead of now and yet you still struggled maintaining your own eye contact. After you had stopped forcing down the feelings like wanting change was selfish and accepted the fact that you weren't entirely happy everything became harder to bear. No matter how happy you were with him as his wife or how much you loved him still that wasn't enough to save your marriage. It was crumbling from right under you and he wasn't even there to see the deterioration.

It was Tom's lifestyle that was so hard to adjust to judging by the fact you never truly had. You knew what you were getting into when you married him and you also knew how important work was to him. Still, you didn't feel like a priority anymore not even an after thought to him at all.

Valeria came first to him always and you adored that immensely because she should. Second was work no competition there at all which mixed with his love for his fans. Further down the long list of things he cared about was you supposedly. How far down that list you didn't know but you were there somewhere.

Hopefully.

He was never home often and always traveling which you tried to make work by skyping and face-timing every night. Even that became more and more inconsistent because of his work and yours as well until you didn't talk for days on end.

Trying to make an effort or even an attempt became more of a struggle because there never seemed to be anytime left for you to speak to him. There wasn't any blame attached to your feelings, if anything you were fearful of what your feelings were becoming. Sometimes, a thought formed that if he said "I love you," you might not be able to believe him.

You couldn't let it get that bad.

It never needed to get that bad.

Matched with all these thoughts was a reality you hated to even think about. His kissing or love scenes in the shows and movies he worked on always made you feel absolutely awful. Distance and little to no communication didn't offer any chances for intimacy or intimate conversations. Not to say Tom would ever cheat on you but at this point you weren't sure of anything. It hurt to ever see a scene like that and Tom was a damn good actor you couldn't tell if it was in your head or if he enjoyed every second of it.

Paranoia?

Jealousy?

Things you wouldn't ever have thought could have been a words to describe you. Maybe you were paranoid... maybe you were jealous. Maybe you were the reason your marriage was failing.