Another Pair Of Eyes: Love is Not Blind

Chapter 23

May, 8 2017

It had been four years since Heather's accident. That day had been a life change for her and for me. It was the day I finally found hope. Heather had connected me with a student ministry soon after my conversion and I had jumped head first into teaching girls. Mentoring these young ladies had been a real blessing to me over the past four years. We had grown together in the faith.

"You girls can't be like every other girl in your school. You can't sleep around and experiment with drugs and cuss and then come to church Sunday and act like you love God. If you do, then no one will listen to you that God matters when you say it; if you live just like the world, they won't see what you have is any different." I walked around looking each of these seniors in the eye. I wanted them to not only hear, but feel my words.

"Em, how was it for you in school? Was it as hard as it is for us? You have to hide in a corner and not talk to anyone to stay pure in our school anymore." The other girls voiced their agreement.

"It was difficult, Aubrey. It could be different circumstances but the same, intended result. In other words, it doesn't matter in what era you lived or how good or bad the culture was, you have to be different to show that you have indeed been transformed. Conforming is conforming; it doesn't matter what the world is into at that time. We need to think and act differently. If not, we have nothing to add to their hopelessness."

I sat back down. I had been meeting with these ten girls since they were freshmen. We had talked about anything from boys to social media and everything in between. I had learned as much from them as they were learning from me.

"You guys know I was once engaged? It was the breaking off of my wedding with Derek who woke me up to the fact that we couldn't find hope in the things of this world. You guys have me to help you and I had Heather speaking truth to me." Sonja raised her hand.

"Speaking of boyfriends, you guys remember me talking about my friend, Anna? I finally got the nerve to approach her. I know I need to forgive her and Charlie for wronging me, but she won't admit she was wrong and she really hurt me. Sure, Charlie and I had already broken up, but we dated for three years. She was one of my closest friends and they were together that weekend. I know I have to forgive her, but it is hard when she doesn't own it and I have to see her all the time. I am bitter towards them and it's messing me up."

Theresa chimed in. "Yeah, that stinks, Anna. As you guys know, my dad and mom split up because he was an idiot. He thought some girl at the gym had more to offer him than Mom. Anyway, I have been struggling with my anger over it. Dad wants to see me and I can't even look at him. Even mom says I have to forgive him eventually." Theresa was crying and that led to tears from a few others as they mentioned their own struggles to forgive someone.

"You guys are having trouble forgiving someone; I cannot forgive myself. My brother has to have surgery on his back again. My parents try not to blame me, but it was my fault. Ben has forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself for what I did." Aubrey had been at the lake with her family when she pushed Ben off into the lake. They had been jumping off the cliff all day, but he landed closer to the edge than where they normally jumped. The water was much more shallow closer to the bank and he broke his back. Thankfully, he had not been paralyzed, but it was touch and go with that for a few weeks until the swelling went down. Aubrey had really been struggling.

Everyone rallied around Aubrey. It touched me the way these girls cared for each other. They were teenagers with teenage problems, but adults could learn from them about loyalty and trust.

Once things settled back down and emotions were back in check, Carrie spoke up. "Em, how did you forgive Derek for what he did?" Had I forgiven Derek? I had let him go and tried to forget about him, but had I really ever forgiven him?