Reasons||m.c.

twenty-nine

twenty-nine//

It had been two weeks. I was staying with Michael still. Best of all, I was starting to remember.

I don't remember everything, but I was remembering little moments between Michael and I.

He took me to Calum's house and had me sit on the top of the staircase. We made out. And the memory came back from when we did that two years ago.

He recreated memories for us. He recreated the moment of when I had sex with him for the first time.

It was strange because I felt like I'd only known him for a little while, but in reality I'd known him for much longer.

I was remembering a lot and I was seeing why I loved Michael.

"We have to get back on tour," he whispered, brushing my hair out of my face as we lay in bed. He was propped up on his elbow staring at me while I lay on my back.

I looked away sadly, "Oh."

"I don't want to leave you," he breathed, taking his hand and resting it on my stomach.

I nodded. Maybe I could join him on tour - I didn't want to say that though. I didn't want him to feel obligated to take me. I don't know - I couldn't remember how he would react to a situation like this.

I didn't know.

I had known I didn't remember anything from the past 2 years, but it never dawned on me that I didn't know anything about the person I loved. I didn't know how he worked. I had learned over the last 2 years everything about him. I probably learned his favourite foods, if he likes massages, how he liked to cuddle, his family, how he controls his emotions. I learned all of that and I now I don't know any of it.

I did the only thing I could at that moment. I cried.

His expression turned alarmed and he sat up in the bed, pulling me onto his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Hey," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me, "don't cry. What's wrong?"

"I don't know you," I whispered. "I don't know a single thing about the person I love."

"What do you mean?"

"I forgot everything I've learned about you. I probably knew your family and what your favourite food and colour was and what movies you liked to watch and how you react to certain situations... Michael I don't know any of it."

He sighed and kissed my forehead. "Then I'll tell you. I already know everything about you. Just ask me some questions."

I nodded, "This sounds stupid... Okay, what's your favourite way to cuddle?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead reassuringly as I blushed bright red at my silly question.

"Anyway, really," he shrugged. "As long as I'm touching you in some way I'm fine. If we spoon, though - I refuse to be the little spoon. That's unmanly."

I laughed and leaned my head on his shoulder.

A memory was working its way into my brain.

****

I stepped into Michael's room after finally deciding to quit studying and come up to bed. He was laying on his side but wasn't completely asleep, yet.

I lay on the bed behind him and draped my arm over his waist and cuddled him close against me.

He shuffled uncomfortably and rolled around in my arms.

"No, I'm the big spoon," he pouted.

I giggled, "Why can't I be the big spoon?"

"Because you're the little one in the relationship so you're the little spoon. Besides, it's unmanly."

I rolled my eyes and turned over, allowing him to pull my back to his chest, dubbing him the big spoon.

****

"What's wrong?" Michael whispered as I stared absentmindedly at the wall.

"I remembered something."