Sabrina POV
Dear Puck,
I've always been quite interested in what it was that made you who you are. You were different. Some might say you were just cocky and annoying, but there was something behind all of that. I could feel it when I looked into your eyes.
I couldn't see it at first. You were so good at hiding it. Every time I looked at you, I saw evil. I saw arrogance. I saw untrustworthy. I saw unlovable. Unloveable. Isn't that a sad word.
It took a while for me to see through you. Through those beautiful green eyes. The cries for help. All you needed was help. But when people looked at you, they refused to believe the look of pain on your face.
You had a brilliant front. Everyone believed you, including me. Daphne once told me she wished she was you. Because you could always just fly away. Leave everyone behind.
I never thought that's what you might actually do.
I know you now, Puck. I know you are, well, who you were. I wish I saw it sooner. Some say it was just because you were good liar, and boy, you were. But I say I was just a bad observer.
I often think back to all those times you saved my life. From falling off buildings to basically getting drugged with powerful magic.
You were the hero. You were my hero. You will always be my hero Puck. And it pains me to think I couldn't be yours.
All I ever wanted was to mean something to you, like how you meant something to me. You still mean something to me, no matter where you are or where you might go.
After all these years, I can finally see who you really are.
I can see the pain in your gorgeous eyes. I can tell who you were because of the things you said. The things you used to say to me. The things you said to me that other people once said to you.
I can tell who you are now because I am of the wiser now. I was stupid when I was twelve, Puck. You have to understand that, even if you're dead, please understand that I was stupid and couldn't see your pain.
I think back to your funeral. The last time I saw your mother. She handed me your green hoodie, of which you wore all the time. I can remember the last thing she said to me before she left. She told me:
"When you see him again, don't let him cover up his scars,"
It wasn't until then that realized why you always wore that stupid green hoodie. The only long-sleeved clothing item you owned. To cover up what you did to yourself.
I remember finding you in the bathroom. It was only then that you looked so alive, yet I knew the moment I saw you laying in that pool of blood that you were dead.
Titania called me the other day. Of course the only thing she wanted to talk about was you. She told me she never once said she loved you. She told me nor your father or your brother said they loved you. She said not even Moth said she loved you.
There was a lot of things I realized throughout the journey of your death. One being you never heard anyone say that they loved you. Not even once.
So, without further ado, I would like to be the first to say that I love you Puck. More than anything in this entire universe, because I know, you're somewhere out there, in this cruel and evil universe, waiting for someone to love you. Even though you're dead, you're still waiting. But you don't have to wait any longer, because I'll be there soon. I promise. Right by your side, because you don't deserve to be alone. Not after a life like that.
I'm not going to say I'm sorry, Puck. Because that's what everyones's been saying lately. That they're sorry. But sorry isn't going to cut it for me. You deserve so much more than a meaningless sorry, Puck. You deserve the entire fucking universe, and everything in it.
I'll be there soon, just hold on.
And I'll bring you your green hoodie too, just in case you're feeling self-conscious.
Love,
Sabrina Grimm
