Between Abomination And Affection - Michifer

And nothing overtakes me and I think I'm going crazy ...

Take this drawing up there as an excuse for the last chapter and for the mindfuck in this chapter. Anyways: Enjoy!

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Michael stared down at the dead body that seemed to be the one of his little brother. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. That couldn't be, right? How could that happen? There was no way that this was real right? Lucifer did this as an act of revenge? This was not real, right? It couldn't be real ... Michael tried to believe that this couldn't be true but he had to face the fact that it seemed to be real. The body didn't move. The blood was still there and he could even smell it but he continued to stare at his brother; hoping he would move, breathe, speak ... But nothing happened. He stood there for minutes with an empty gaze until he suddenly reacted. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and his first guess was that someone stabbed him, but there was no one - except for his dead brother - and he realized that this wasn't physical pain; it was the pain he felt on the inside. Guilt. Grief. Anger. He screamed and fell down on his knees; crawling over to the body of his baby brother and he started to shake his shoulders. "Lucifer! Lucifer! Come on brother!" He knew he was dead. He could feel it. The body was cold, the blood was almost dry, but he couldn't accept that. He wasn't able to accept this. All these years he wished Lucifer would have just died were forgotten. Seeing him like this ripped Michael's heart apart. His vision went blurry and he could feel tears streaming down his face; tears of grief, anger, hate, pain, guilt and sadness. He let go of his brother and stared at the wall while the tears were still streaming down his face. Then he started to cry. He started sobbing and crying like he hadn't before.
While Michael was crying and whispering sentences like 'no, no this can't be ...' and 'It's my fault, why did this have to happen?!' the walls behind him started to shine in a soft, silver light. They turned into mirrors; or at least something that looked quite like a mirror.
"Michael ..." A calm voice interrupted the angels crying and he looked up; hoping that Lucifer might be not as dead as he thought he was. Unfortunately Michael was wrong; Lucifer was still lying next to him on the ground so he thought that his mind was playing tricks on him. "Great ..." He smiled while the cold tears where still streaming down his cheeks. "I'm going insane ..." "No, my dearest brother, that is not true ... At least not completely ..." The voice was behind him and he turned around slowly; he didn't feel like he has enough energy to react faster. Behind him was ... "Lucifer?!" His bronze eyes lightened up a bit and suddenly he had enough energy to jump up again. "You are alive?! But ... how?" He looked back to the body on the ground and then back to the one in front of him. "Wait a second ..." Only now he recognized the weird surface. "You ... Are inside the walls?" He walked closer and started to touch the walls. It was a mirror, again. The whole walls were made out of mirrors. "Why are you inside of these mirror-like walls? What happened? How can I get you out?!" The blonde archangel in front of him shook his head slowly and started to laugh. "You can't, dumbass." Now Michael was a bit confused. "Why not? If you get in there is a way to get out too! And don't call me dumbass, please. I was worried." "Of course you were." Lucifer smiled. "But it is too late. I am really dead. And this" he pointed at himself, "Is not Lucifer. I am the reflection of your conscience."
"M-my conscience? But why?"
"It is your fault that he is dead! And a part of you knows that!"
"It is not my fault?" The black haired male never thought that he would feel that unstable at one point in his life, but right now he did. His body started to shake slowly and the tears started to stream down again. Lucifer was still dead ... And apparently it was his fault?
"W-what did I do? Why is it my fault?" He really didn't understand.
And again the reflection of his conscience started to laugh. "You stopped caring about him because he was different and a bit hard to handle. You failed as a big brother. Congrats, tell him! Oh wait, you can't, he is dead! And you know what? You hurt him all the time you two spend down here in the cage." "Lucifer" smiled while his eyes were glowing. "You hurt him enough to rip him apart on the inside. You destroyed his heart and messed up his feelings and still treated him like he was nothing worth to you. And only now, when he is lying in front of you on the ground, lifeless, you are able to express sadness and emotions?" He clapped. "What a great brother!" Michael took slow steps backwards while the reflection was talking and he could feel the cold mirrors against his back now. He hugged himself and he was crying again. He already felt sorry when he found Lucifer but now he felt even worse. "Stop it ... Please ..." Within some minutes Michael wasn't the proud leader of heavens army anymore. He was a crying mess. "Please ..." His voice was low and shaking.

Lucifer walked through the corridors of the maze when he heard a scream. He froze in shock. Who screamed? Why did the ... whatever it was scream? Wait ... The voice sounded familiar ... Was that Michael? He started to walk again; this time faster. He was walking through this maze for almost two hours now and he never felt that lost in his entire life. At least he had a torch to light the area up a bit. Honestly, the fallen one hoped that it was Michael, then he won't be that alone anymore and he wouldn't feel that lost.

"You know what? We should look at some happy memories with yourself and Lucifer, right? Does that sound like a good idea?" "N-no ..." Michael knew, if he would see them he would cry harder. He already felt miserable. "Oh, yes, it is a brilliant idea!" The blonde reflection snapped and suddenly Michael could see the memories. He saw him and Lucifer as children how they were playing and he felt the sharp pain in his chest again. The archangel started to whimper and slid down on the walls until he was sitting. "Stop it please ..." He had never felt that down in his entire life. He closed his eyes and pressed his hands against his face while he was crying and sobbing. Hearing the voices from the mirror felt like a hand out of ice would rip out his chest and would slowly grab his heart. Hearing the voice of the reflection that told him again that it was his fault felt like the hand was ripping his heart out. He already knew it was his fault ...Why couldn't the reflection be silent? He wanted Lucifer back ... He started to shake his head. I can't hear that ... No no no ... Slowly the sounds around him sounded farer away ... He started to ignore this, as well as the darkness that started to surround him. "Please take the pain away ..." He whispered while it got even colder around him. The archangel had no idea who he was talking to or if there was anyone else, but he continued to speak. "I don't want to feel all of that ... Take it away, please ..." Suddenly he knew what was happening ... His sanity broke apart.

When Lucifer walked around the next corner he was a bit relieved. He hadn't heard a sound again and he was worrying that he was just hallucinating, but he could see his older brother sitting on the ground. "Michael!" The older archangel didn't react. He was just sitting on the ground and ... cried? "Michael, what is wrong?!" He rushed over to the dark haired angel but he didn't respond. He was just shaking and crying. "Michael! It's me! Lucifer! Answer me!" Lucifer didn't know why exactly Michael was crying and why he didn't respond but he slowly put his torch away and tried to lift him up. "Come on, we have to get out!" He was sure that something was wrong with his older brother and he was sure that it had to do with this place. But when he tried to lift him up Michael fell back to the ground again and continued to shake and cry. He carefully kneeled down next to the person that was once his role model and slowly touched his shoulder. "Michael ...?"

By now he was surrounded by complete darkness and he couldn't really hear a thing anymore. Every sound he could hear sounded muted. It sounded like he was diving underwater and someone tried to talk to him above the surface. But he ignored it. He wanted to be surrounded by the cold darkness. It could take his pain away ... But suddenly it got warmer. He felt like he was outside on a warm summer day. Michael had to think about the memories again. Lucifer come back to me please ... Then he collapsed.

When Lucifer tried to lift him up again Michael collapsed in his arms. "Brother? Micha?" He carefully grabbed his chin and lifted it up. The archangel had lost his consciousness. Lucifer sighed and picked him up softly. "Fine, then I'll find a way out on my own ..."