THE APPRENTICE ➛ Kylo Ren

⁽ ³³ ⁾ ❝ ᴘ ʜ ᴀ ɴ ᴛ ᴀ s ᴍ ❞

When they were young, Rey used to call Jana by the first letter of her name because it was shorter than 'Jana', and because Jay and Rey rhymed and as children that was wildly amusing. Rey was the only one to ever call Jana by that nickname, and neither of them had ever spoken it aloud in the presence of another living soul.

But she'd just heard it spoken in the room which, after thorough and panicked assessment, she had found to be empty, and this time there was no mistaking it for some flimsy whisper inside her skull. The words had been real enough to reach out and touch, and the familiarity of the voice on which they were spoken had sent a haunting chill splitting through her bones.

The beat in her chest thumped relentlessly, but Jana was holding her breath. Her limbs were frozen and motionless, even as she held her lightsaber defensively in front of her.

Her thoughts scrambled. Flashes of snow and two blazing sabers sparked before her. She saw blood on the powdered crystals, dark hair splayed across silvery ground...and the eyes of a heartsore child glassed with tears staring back at her in grief, scared of the thing that her sister had become. Brokenhearted at her betrayal.

Jana scorned her memory for not acting faster. She remembered breaking Rey's wrist with the very last blow of their duel, she remembered unintentionally unleashing a current of the Dark Side that had sent Rey careening back to ultimately hit her head on a snow-covered tree root. Then the ground had opened up beneath Jana's feet, and the fissure of the imploding planet had yawned wider between the twins. Then it was simply black, and the next thing Jana recalled was waking up in the med-bay on Kylo's shuttle.

Had Rey somehow managed to pull herself up and stow away aboard the ship? Had she been concealed there ever since, waiting to finish the fight and deliver judgement on Jana for her actions?

Impossible. There was no way she could've gotten across the chasm on Starkiller, especially not in her weakened, nearly lifeless state.

Jana's eyes cut around the room as if they were expecting to find the devil himself tucked in one of the corners. And then she heard it again, that deep, abrasive voice spitting scornfully into the silence, "Coward."

Jana's chest heaved, but she forced herself not to panic. Panic got you killed. She pushed out the confusion-polluted thoughts and cleared her mind. She was definitely the only one in the room. But the voice had to have come from somewhere, though whenever it sounded it felt like it was everywhere, coming from all directions at once to converge directly on Jana.

After far too long she managed to coax her body into movement. The lightsaber hummed patiently, expectantly as she carefully slid both legs off the mattress, bare feet trekking across the frigid ground. She had no clue what was drawing her back to the viewport, but she soon found herself in front of it.

The undefined darkness behind the glass paired with the infrared stain of light from the saber caused a mirror to form in the window. Jana's vision shifted from the outlying stars to the wild eyes reflected back at her, and for some reason she was unable to look away.

Her brows were drawn together, the tarnish of fright spread across her features. Her skin was dewy with cold sweat, gleaming on her cheeks and across her neck and chest. Her lips hung apart, shallow breaths falling from them, not daring to make a sound.

Jana stared harder. A sickness pressed against her stomach, slid up into her throat.

She could see the fear practically shining from her being. Fear that she had sworn never to let control her again, now here yanking her strings like a marionette.

Who was she? Her throat constricted as an odd and terrible sensation bloomed across her insides, the overwhelming feeling of unfamiliarity and of not knowing her own face. She felt like shrinking back into herself. She felt out of place. She felt alienated even in her own body, like even if she traveled across countless galaxies, she would never be in the right place. Worst of all, she felt helplessness. There was no consolation in her mind. Unlike normal when the idea of Kylo's presence, or sometimes even Rey's, could sooth her from anxiety, she had the overwhelming sense that nothing could calm her or bring her back from this place.