Still You (ZhengKun)

[1] The Past

(2 years ago)

“Let’s break up. I’m sorry, Xukun. I’m really sorry.” Zhengting was holding Xukun’s hands while looking down at the floor. He couldn’t even look straight into Xukun’s eyes, knowing what he has done.

“S-stop. Stop it,” Xukun said as tears stream down his face. “Stop saying sorry, it’s bullshit.” he gently removed Zhengting’s hands.

“But.. I-I swear I didn’t want it to happen, I didn’t mean to d-” Xukun cuts him.

“I said stop it,” he closed his eyes and fists. “if you didn’t want it, then why? Why did you fucking.. s-sleep with him? Why are you choosing him?” Xukun’s voice was shaking.

“I and Wenjun, w-we were drunk. We didn’t know it will happen,” Still, Zhengting can’t look at Xukun’s eyes. “Please, forgive me and let me go.”

“D-do you still love me?” Xukun asked even if he already know what’s the answer. This time, Zhengting already looked at Xukun’s face. “Answer me.”

“I love you,” he, again, held Xukun’s hands while looking at Xukun’s eyes. “believe me I did.”

“Yeah, you did.” he smiled weakly. “We’re happy aren’t we? We’re in love, we’re fine. What happened? You promised me, Zhengting,” he sobbed. “you promised me you won’t leave me, you promised me you won’t betray me, you promise me you won’t love anybody else but me. You.. you fucking promised! I-I trusted you, I believed you, I loved you, I gave you everything.. Why am I not fucking enough? Where did I fucking go wrong?”

Xukun is crying so hard. He is so mad and so fucked up but he’s still doing his best to calm himself. Zhengting let go of Xukun’s hand and started crying too. He knew he was wrong, he loved Xukun but after what happened to him and Wenjun, everything has changed.

“Y-you were perfect, Xukun. You cared a lot for me, you loved me so much, you gave everything I didn’t asked for.. but I guess that’s the reason why we can’t be together anymore. You were too perfect for me. You loved me more than I loved you. I fucked up already, Xukun. We can’t bring it back, I can’t let this situation be even worse..” he cupped Xukun’s face. “Please, let me go.”

Xukun looked down, his tears are still falling. He nodded.

“I hope you won’t regret this. I hope you’ll be happy with Wenjun. I hope he’ll take care of you,” Xukun wiped off Zhengting and his own tears and for the last time he kissed Zhengting’s forehead. “I hope you won’t do to him what you did to me.”

Xukun turned around as he slowly walks towards the door.

“Wait!” Zhengting stopped him but he didn’t look back. “Thank you, Xukun.” without looking at Zhengting’s face, Xukun formed a smile and walk out through the door..

And probably out of Zhengting’s life.