Still You (ZhengKun)

[13] Set him free

It’s been a week since Xukun disappeared like a bubble from Zhengting’s life. It’s also been a week since Wenjun and Zhengting’s fight. Zhengting wanted to talk to Wenjun but he’s afraid he might not want to see him, and he wanted to talk to Xukun about what happened and why he suddenly left.

Zhengting is sitting down on his couch while waiting for Xukun’s reply. Yes, he’s always been waiting for his response but he is getting nothing. While staring at his phone, someone knocked on the door. Zhengting hurriedly ran to open the door because it might be Xukun, he might be back… but when he opened the door, he’s surprised to see Wenjun.

“W-Wenjun..” he gulped. “What are you doing here?”

“I.. I uhh.. want to talk to you.” Wenjun said as he stared at Zhengting’s eyes. His eyes are obviously sad. “Okay, c-come in.” Zhengting agreed as he let Wenjun to enter his house. They are not yet far from the door when Wenjun talked already. He is facing Wenjun’s back. “You know what? I miss you,” his voice broke. “I miss you so much. It’s been a week since that happened.. I know I should be angry to you, but I can’t. I seriously can’t.” Wenjun said as he cries. Zhengting couldn’t face him. He doesn’t want to see him cry. He can’t even say a word. He is just looking down at the floor.

“That time when you moaned Xukun’s name and I told you to get lost, I was actually h-hoping you won’t leave.. but you did and I still think you’d come back. But it’s been a week and yet you d-didn’t,” he sobs. “Actually before our anniversary, I knew it,” Wenjun says as Zhengting already faced him, confused. “I know you went together to the Amusement Park. That night when he sent you home, I was there outside but I ignored it. The next morning, I came to your house and you woke up beside me.. I thought you’ll be happy to see me, but I-I can see you’re not. Your irresistible eyes can’t lie, Zhengting. Your mood changed when you saw me. You acted weird which I already knew the reason why. Then Xukun came. I wasn’t surprised at all. While you were at the bathroom, he talked to me and said he’s getting you back…” Wenjun is crying so hard. He doesn’t want Zhengting to see his very vulnerable side, but he can’t help it. Zhengting is just listening to him, to his revelations. He don’t know what to say, he’s afraid to say anything and hurt him again.

“Do you know how hurt I was? My ego and my heart? I didn’t respond to him because I know and I am sure he’ll success. W-who am I anyway? I am just your boyfriend, he is your first love. But I thought to myself, I will still hold you tight. That now that I’m here with you again, you might just ignore him. So I did everything because I couldn’t let you go... Z-Zhengting, do you know how much I tried? I tried so hard, I kept on believing your lies. Your lies that you said you love me, that you missed me, that y-you’re.. still happy with me. Those lies, my baby. I love listening to your sweet lies. I didn’t tell you about this because I’m afraid you’ll leave and choose him though I know very well that soon enough, you will. And I wasn’t wrong.” Wenjun stopped for a while as Zhengting wiped off his tears.

“Wenju--” Zhengting tried to talk but Wenjun cuts him with a hug. A tight hug. “N-no. Stop. Don’t say anything,” He said as he bury his face to Zhengting’s shoulder. “Just.. don’t. L-let me finish. I can’t bear to hear you saying the words I don’t want to hear..” He hugged him even tighter and sighed. “Z-Zhengting, my baby, it’s okay. I am now letting you go.. I was the one who started this so let me be the one to end this,” He released from the hug and hold Zhengting’s hands. “I am sorry. This is all my fault. Two years ago, If I just stopped myself, this won’t happen. Xukun and you.. m-might still be together. So now, I am giving you back to him,” He wipped off his own tears and gave Zhengting a weak smile. “Isn’t it funny? This is my karma. I made a mistake. We were a mistake. But Zhengting, I want you to know you are the best mistake I’ve ever had. Those two years, I was happy, believe me. I hope you were too,” He cupped Zhengting’s face. “Now, I want you to be happy and let Xukun feel the warmth of your smile again that I stole from him. And I want to say sorry.. sorry for pushing you away that night when I only meant to bring you closer to me again. Lastly, I.. I love you. You will always own a special place in my heart, always remember that.”

For the last time, Wenjun planted a kiss on Zhengting’s forehead. It was a long sweet goodbye kiss. He know he won’t have the chance of doing this again so he cherished it as much as he could.

“Wenjun, please listen to me. I-I.. I am really sorry. I want you to know that those two years was genuinely happy, and I.. loved you. Believe me,” Zhengting’s tears started to fall. Wenjun hurriedly faced the door behind him, he can’t see Zhengting crying. He might not be able to let him go, he might change his decision. “I’m sorry, Wenjun. I really am.”

“No, Zhengting. Stop it. Stop saying those words. I was wrong. I take the blame. I stole you from Xukun. But.. I’m glad to hear that. Thank you, Zhengting. This is it, I have to go. For the last time, I love you… and goodbye.”

Wenjun finally gave up and dropped a fake sweet smile as his tears fell down again and leave Zhengting…

Zhengting was left speechless, but it’s a good thing that he won’t say any more words that could hurt Wenjun. “Thank you, Wenjun.” he whispers to himself and wiped his tears off of his face. Now, it’s time to go to Xukun.