this book is such a flop lmao.
i think this chapter will be a start to somethin though... ;;;;)););););)
millie
it's been a week.
a week since finn and i hung out.
a week since i've seen him.
him and his mom wanted to spend the week together, staying at his aunts house. i completely understand. it's just the fact that he hasn't told me or charlie about what happened is eating at me. but he can tell me when he's ready.
i've fed my 'heroin addiction' (i hate calling it addiction) a couple times this week. it's growing stronger, and i'm becoming weaker. charlie has no idea, and i'd like to keep it that way. i try my hardest to resist it, but it's such a high for me, that i can't seem to live without it.
i don't want to go to rehab again, that was a nightmare. sure, charlie was there to visit me about every day, but i can't even begin to explain the unbearable cravings i had.
it was a nightmare.
-
"hey mom?" i shake her shoulder gently, waking her up. she fell asleep on the couch again.
she hums in response, keeping her eyes closed.
"charlie and i were about to go get some food, did you want anything?"
"no." she turns on her other side, facing towards the cushion.
she's become really skinny, and she hasn't been eating very much. i press my lips together and shrug as i follow charlie out the door.
"is pizza okay?" he asks, and i nod. we begin to drive, and i turn on the radio. i furrow my eyebrows when an instagram notification pops up on my phone.
'instagram: 'finnwolfhard' posted for the first time in a while, be the first to comment.'
i swipe my finger to enter the app, to show a picture of a shirtless finn in a bathing suit, and a tall skinny blonde in a red bikini. they're standing on a beach, and his hands are around her waist, with her hands resting on his neck.
they're kissing.
the caption reads, 'together again.'
my heart shatters into a million pieces.
my eyebrows knit together in sadness, my mouth gaped open while a tear or two stream down my cheeks.
"millie? what's wrong?" charlie shakes my left shoulder. i turn to him, letting out a small sob. my phone drops onto my lap, and i begin to feel numb. i place my hand on my chest feeling my heart break.
why me?
"millie please tell me what's wrong?" he parked the car in some parking lot. i try to talk, but i can't. charlie doesn't even know about finn and i, not like there's a 'finn and i' anymore.
was i just a rebound? did he miss her and just use me to try to get over her? was i really nothing to him?
yes millie. you're nothing. why even ask yourself?
YOU ARE READING
bittersweet / fillie
Fanfiction"we're just not fit for each other. we're both so fucked up in our own ways that we'll end up hurting each other." i look deep into his eyes. "aren't we all?" i say.
