Camila walked down the sidewalk with Normani. The night wind hit her skin making her shiver. Camila hugged herself as they walked down the street.
"Hey, Camila?" Normani asked.
"Yeah?" Camila responded.
"You know Austin, right?" Normani asked.
"Not personally, but, I've bumped into him once." Camila replied.
"Well, anyway. He invited the five of us to go to his party on Friday, and I wanted to see if you would go."
"Five of us?"
"Dinah, Ally, me, you, and...Lauren."
Camila sighed and hugged herself tighter.
"I don't think I'll be able to make it...too much homework." Camila told the dark-skinned girl. Normani rolled her eyes.
"You're lying. You just won't go because there's a chance Lauren will go. You can't hide forever you know that right? And she probably won't even go. Parties don't seem like her scene."
"They're not mine either."
"Please," Normani pleaded. "If you don't like it, then I will personally drive you home. I just want you to have a little fun. You've been so sulky lately, I just want you to have fun and live a little."
"I always live a little, Mani." Camila said.
"Watching Harry Potter over and over again, isn't living a little, Camila." Normani pointed out. "Look, I'll make a deal with you. Party starts at nine, you stay until 9:30, and I'll do anything you want me to do."
"...I can live with that, I guess."
Normani smiled and hugged her best friend. "I gotta go or my mom is gonna kill me for being out too late. See you later?"
"Yeah, see you." Camila hugged back and told her friend goodbye. As Normani left, Camila continued to walk home. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and kept her head down. She hated walking alone.
"Well, well, well." Camila heard a voice she didn't like very much in front of her. Camila looked up, Skylar Patterson was standing there scowling at Camila. "What are you doing here?"
"Outside? On a sidewalk? What do you think I'm doing?" Camila asked rolling her eyes.
Skylar scoffed at the shorter girl.
"How's Lauren? That was some hell of a kiss she gave me." Skylar reminded Camila. Camila had trouble keeping her cool at this point.
"I know you're the one who kissed her. She would never kiss you because, well, have you looked in the mirror lately? I wouldn't kiss you either..." Camila trailed off.
"You're gonna regret saying that, Cabello." Skylar threatened.
"You know that's like the one hundredth time you've threatened me, so you know what? I don't care anymore. You can do whatever you want. You can hit me, or make fun of me, or kiss the people I love, but I won't care. You're only doing it because you can't stand the fact that I just don't care about you like everyone else does. Suck it up, Skylar. Not everyone in this world gives a shit about you and your spray tan." Camila stated. "Goodnight."
Camila kept walking on leaving Skylar. She was sick and tired of Skylar taking up all the happiness in her. She wasn't going to let it happen anymore.
When Camila got home she grabbed her phone from her pocket and dialed Lauren's number. To her surprise, Lauren answered.
"Hello?" Lauren asked.
"We need to talk. I mean, can we talk? In a civilized way, they way we would before all of this?"
"We can try, but, I can't make any promises to you."
"Lauren, I don't get it. Why did you break things off?"
"How can I break off something if there was nothing to break? Face it, Camila. You and I...had and will always have...nothing."
"If we have nothing then why did you kiss me? If we have nothing why did you open up to me?"
"Let's be honest, that kiss was nothing. It started off a dare and ended up being something that went too far."
"What are you saying?"
"I was just fucking around is what I'm trying to say, it didn't mean anything."
"That's not true. I know you don't think this, you just wanna act all tough."
"Everything I'm saying is true. Everything we supposedly had, is nothing to me. And this is the real me talking, I'm not lying."
"The fact that you say you aren't lying makes me think you are."
"Think what you want to think. It was nothing."
"So...everything was nothing? You just sweet talked me down to get pleasure out of it?"
"...Yes. That's what I'm saying. It doesn't matter, does it?"
"Of course it does! Everything that was there mattered to me! That's why I care so much! God, Lauren! Why can't you see that I'm in love with you! I thought you cared!"
"...Wait, What? What did you just say?"
"I said everything matters."
"No. That part before that last sentence."
"I...said, I'm in love with you."
"Camila-"
"Don't say anything, Lauren. I know you don't care. But, I love you, Lauren. And that sucks."
Camila hung up in anger. She had told Lauren she loved her. She brought her knees into her chest as tears rolled down her cheeks. There are seven billion people on this planet, and out of all of them, I had to fall in love with Lauren Jauregui? She thought.
—
Lauren let out a shaky breath. Her tears fell down her face, there was no point in trying to stop them. Lauren had said horrible things, horrible things to a girl who loved her. Lauren didn't mean any of those things, she just didn't want Camila to get hurt. Lauren grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. She wrote her heart out and explained everything.
Dear Camila,
Throw this letter away if you want to, don't listen to what I have to say, that's fine. I just need to say these things to you.
I'm sorry. I know that it's too late for me to even think about saying that, but I still need to say it. Everything I said to you over the phone, it didn't mean anything. I lied to you. What we had was everything to me as much as it was for you, and that's why I had to cut things off, so I didn't hurt you.
We can't be together, Camila. I know what you're thinking; "why?" Well, the answer is because I don't understand how you could want someone like me. I mean - Who wants to be spotted with a criminal? Someone who went to jail? You don't deserve to be with someone as low as me. You deserve someone who has amazing grades, a nice smile, a pretty face, is a good kisser, and is the best they can be just for you, and overall has never been to jail. You deserve everything, Camila. You can't be with someone who is nothing. I would break you...and I never wanna see you broken. I can't love you...because I don't know how. Please, find someone who makes you smile and laugh. And I hope they can make you happy, because I sure as hell can't.
-LJ
Lauren set her pen down and cried harder. She was letting Camila go, and that was the hardest thing she would ever have to do.
YOU ARE READING
Emotions (Camren)
Fanfiction"All of these...emotions that I feel for you. They have to stop..." Lauren couldn't love, and Camila loved too much. They would never see themselves ending up together until the day they were apart.
