Back To Life - Kim Jonghyun

Chapter 5

TAEYONG

MONDAY

Seeing Jonghyun hyung in the hospital and learning that he has been with her ever since the accident happened makes me feel like I have been lost and how much I have missed so much things about her over the years. I did not even make an effort to think about her and it is making me feel guilty. I know that there is no way that Jonghyun and Eunji are in a relationship, but why do I feel jealous already?

"So you and Eunji are juts friends right, hyung?" We reach to the bench and we sit together facing Eunji's room. We can see her lying down and petting Solji, her cat and Ruru, Jonghyun's dog through the window

"Yeah, I mean, it'll be weird if we are right? Come on." He brushes my shoulder with a smile on his face that fades away as soon as he looks away.

"Hmm, guess so."

"How long did you like her? Trust me, this won't go public." His comment sends a smile on my face this time. Since my group is still a bit new, we try to avoid some scandals that fans does not like.

"When I left her to train in our company. The first night was horrible."

I tell him the story as to how Eunji and I were so close that people thought we'll end up together in the end. We first met during the first school year of elementary when she moved from overseas to Seoul not knowing a single Korean word. Because I really loved learning languages when I was little, I was able to communicate with her and that is how our friendship started and how it ended as well. A week or two before I got the acceptance letter from SM Entertainment saying that I have passed the audition and they're waiting for me to call in and confirm that I will accept their letter, I was planning how I will confess to Eunji that I love her, but mom found out and she said that we are too young to be in a serious relationship, so I drafted countless of pages as to how I will tell her the news. We applied and auditioned at the same time, but only I was accepted and she failed, so it was a big problem to me as to how I will tell her that. The day came when I had to leave and start my trainee period and Eunji couldn't make it in our house to see me off with my family because she was in the hospital due to exhaustion and not eating properly.

"Solji noona, can you tell Jiji that we'll still have each other? She won't havea phone sooner will she..." I remember my younger version of me asking Eunji's older sister this when my dad was waiting for me in his car to drive me to the training building of the company.

"No she won't until I get a proper job. Take care, I'll handle it." Solji hugged me and waved at me when dad drove me off.

After Jonghyun and I talked for a long while last two days ago, I remember saying goodbye to Eunji on her hospital bed letting her and Jonghyun alone. I have to say that I did not feel good about that, but at least, I got her number and we can catch up again and be close just like last time. FOr the first time in forever, I have never felt this kind of jealousy even when I haven't seen her and she was not in my mind that often yet.

"Oh this is odd."

"What is?" Mark, a group member of mine asks me during our dance practice session today.

"Oh did I say that aloud?" When he nods, I feel this urge to explain myself, but it seems like he already knows who it is about.

"It's about Eunji noona isn't it? Seems like you're starting to seriously like her, hyung."

"What?! No."

"Whatever. You dont even need to lie to me."

Mark stands up and get ready for the second round of our dance practice. Maybe he's right. Now that I have established communication with her and I know now who she is and the fact that she didn't change except her weight, it makes me want to be beside her every day. Thinking it's also the guilt that's making me feel like this every day after I saw her for the first time in the hospital. Throughout the whole two to three hours of practice, I pass out on the couch after changing my clothes and stays behind in the room with Jaehyun. At first, we only talk about how the choreography is hard to follow, let alone memorize, I switch our conversation about Eunji if he knows something about her since she debuted under the same company.