Different

8

My head hurt. I had been crying too much. I looked into the mirror and wiped my running mascara.
Fuck. Come on Dani! Your stronger than this.
I thought about how I needed to be strong and couldn't let anyone see my weak spots. ANYONE! I had to grow the fuck up. I starred at my reflection and got angrier and angrier. I was so frustrated. Before I knew what was happening I punched the mirror. I was panting. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I lifted my head and looked at my bloodied fist I couldn't feel the pain yet. I looked to my mirror and covered my mouth.
"What the fuck am I gonna do?" I was scared. If my dad sees this he'll want to know what happened and I'll get beat even worse for breaking it myself.
Finally I felt the pulsating pain in my hand. There was glass on my knuckles and my mirror was spidered. I went to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. I took out everything I would need and started pulling shards of glass from my knuckles. Then I poured peroxide on it and used Neosporin and an ace bandage. Just then the phone rang. I made my way to it and answered.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey Dani, I was just calling to check in." My dad said.
"Hi dad. I'm fine." I lied.
"Okay good sweetheart. My boss just told me I have to work some extra time so I'm just going to stay in a motel tonight and I'll be home Tuesday. You'll be okay right?" My dad said.
"Yeah of course I will be." I told my dad.
"Okay good I love you honey." He lied now.
"Love you too." I lied right back.
    Then the conversation was done. I put the phone back on the hook and went to the living room. I rubbed my face. I sat back and closed my eyes trying to relax. The next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and saw 5:30 am. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. I had really slept for 12 hours. I got up and started to brew a cup of coffee. While it brewed I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I tied my hair up and undressed. I showered and let all of my feelings wash away and go down the drain. I wasn't going to feel anything, I had decided. I finished and looked in the mirror. My cheek was still green and yellow but my wrists were purple and blue. I made my way to my room and threw on my oversized sweater and black jeans. I kept my hair tied up and went to the kitchen. I got my coffee ready and sat in the living room watching early morning cartoons. At 6:30 I got my bag and keys and drove to Nancy's. When I got to her house she walked up to my door and smiled.
     "Good morning sunshine." Nancy said in her cheerful tone.
   "Mm." I said as I started driving again.
"So what happened with you and Steve." She asked.
      "He took me to this tree house-" I said.
"Oh my god! He took me there too and all these other girls! And then he asked us out and then a few days later got sex and was gone." She said sorely.
       "I know and when I realized where I was I stormed out." I said as I turned into the school parking lot. It was full of kids and there were the two cars I was dreading seeing the most.
    "Good for you." Nancy said as I parked.
We got out and started walking towards the school. We met with Jonathan halfway through the lot. It was very cold and windy that morning.
    "Dani!" I heard from the left side of the lot.
I didn't turn.
        "Juliet!" I heard from the right.
I kept walking. I wasn't in the mood. I kept walking straight with Nancy and Jonathan pretending to listen to their conversation. I took out a cigarette and lit it. We stood by the entrance of the building because we were a little early and Nancy talked about the dance her and the student council were planning.
     "It's a winter dance but not the snowball because the middle school already has that." Nancy said thinking of names.
     "How about just the winter dance?" Jonathan said shrugging. Nancy looked at him oddly.
    "Come on be more exciting." She said shaking his shoulders.
          "How about the holiday hop." I joked.
"It's perfect! How do you come up with these?!" Nancy said hugging me.
    "I gotta go tell the council I have a name." She said running inside.
          "To be clear you said that as a joke right." Jonathan said.
    "Oh yeah I was completely joking." I said blowing smoke through my nose. He chuckled and called after Nancy.
     While I was alone outside I continued to smoke. I saw two very familiar faces look to me. I tried not to look at them. I glanced over to Billy and saw some sluty chick leaning on his  car trying to talk to him. He seemed distracted and he snapped his fingers and said something and she stopped touching his car. After a second she started touching his chest and arms. I couldn't bare to look I stomped out my cigarette and walked inside.
     I got to my locker and threw in my books I didn't need. I dropped my notebook and before I could pick it up Steve had already gotten it.
     "Hi Dani." He said shyly. I glared at him and took my book.
       "Look I understand if your mad but I really like you and I shouldn't have lied and even if you don't like me back I don't want to lose you. Living without you is much worse than living with you as only a friend." He babbled.
    "Why did you lie?" I said in a calm tone. He seemed stunned I replied until I looked at him with raised eyebrows when he didn't answer.
   "Uh- I wanted you to feel special because you are special to me and when I usually take girls to my tree house they feel super special and-" I cut him off.
          "And they want to them have sex." I said crossing my arms and facing him.
"Sometimes but with you that's not what my end goal was. I promise I just wanted you to feel special and I was nervous. I should've taken you somewhere more sentimental for you like to see a movie you really like but I was so nervous and usually the tree house works so I wanted to be sure. Can you ever forgive me?" He said. I looked at him biting the inside of my cheek.
    "I know what I can do." He said and then turned to the now crowded hallway. He stood in the middle and called for everyone's attention. "Everyone. I, Steve Harrington, am a complete and utter -jackass." He announced.
  I giggled.
        "Now do you forgive me?" He said.
"Mmm, I'll think about it. But holding these may help me think." I said giving him my heavy books. We both laughed and walked to our first period.