Pokemon Boiz x Reader

You Will Never Know [Hau x Depressed!Reader]

Blame MC_Princess for the depressing crap coming ahead. Brace yourselves. STORYTIME.

You looked at your wrists. You could slit them open any time. All you needed was a knife. Nobody would even care right? If you cut yourself, nobody would notice. You could just let yourself bleed out and the world will continue to love on without you. You're meaningless to the world. You're Meaningless to everybody. Why not just slit your wrists right now? Open a vein and be done with it?

You sighed, lifting your head up to see the sky. The sunset was pretty, even if you were leaning against the back wall of the Pokémon center in Hau'oli city. You held your only pokeball in your hand. Your starter. Litten. Why would Litten choose such a horrible trainers like you? You sigh and out his pokeball away. Sorry little guy. You made the worst mistake of your life riding along with you.

That's when you notice a presence next to you. Sometimes that happens. You are feeling sad and suddenly he teleports right next to you. It's as if he has a depression censor in his head and he poofs next to you every time it goes even one digit above the healthy level. Any time you start thinking about ending it all, he's there. He never knew or will understand how much he means to you. He's the reason you're not dead already.

"Heya (name)! Doing alright? It's kinda lonely back here."

You looked over and saw Hau sitting there, flashing you a big smile. You let a small smile escape your system and brush itself lightly not over your lips. You wish you could just grin like he could. Grin like nothing else in the world mattered. Grin like your life had purpose. Yours didn't. You casted your eyes to the ground remembering how worthless you are and how amazing of a human Hau is. Why does he waste his time on you anyways?

"You're not thinking bad of yourself again, are you?"

You looked in his eyes. Oh right. You forgot you accidentally may have let it slip you had depression. You're sielnce said a thousand words to the optimistic boy. He let out a sigh and grabbed your hand. He entwined his chubby fingers with your slender ones. He looked into your eyes, using his serious face.

"Because I've told you That everyone here loves you. Kukui, Lillie, Sun, Moon. Gramps, and me too. We all love you and we all want you here. You have a porpuse and your eyes just as good as all of us. I know you don't beleive me. I doubt you ever will. But maybe I thought if I keep saying it, it will buy me more time with you."

Hau squeezes your hand, sitting back. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry because you will never know how much you mean to everyone. He wanted to cry because you couldn't be happy because of your depression. He wanted to cry for you. He wanted to take the burden away from you so you don't have to feel like you will make everyone happier by killing yourself. He wants you to be happy too. 

No matter how much he says it, you won't beelive him. It's sad because you'll never know how many times Lillie says she misses going shopping with you every other Friday night. You will never know how much Kukui missed you visiting the lab to helpmplay around with Rockruff. You will never know how much Grandpa Hala misses your training with him on thursdays. You will never know how sun and moon missed having you sleep over at their place. You will never know how much he wanted you to stay on this earth with him. He didn't need to travel or anything. He didn't care about his island challenge at all. He just cared about you staying alive and trying to make you as happy of a person as you possibly can be.

"Hau... I promise I won't  leave you any time soon."

You coudlnt promise that, but you did. You promised him that because there was no way he could know the sinking feeling always residing in your gut. You promised him you'd stay alive because he could never know that feeling of everyone hating you and wanting you gone. That feeling that nobody misses you once you're out of their daily routine. You managed to worm away an from everyone else, but Hau refused to let you stop burdening him. Hau squeezes your hand, you heard a sob from him. YOu felt a tear escape your own eye as you watched two escape his. 

"Pinkie swear! Pinkie swear me that you won't ever try to kill yourself! Pinkie swear me right here, right now! Pinkie swear me you will stop avoiding our friends and come back to our family again! Pinkie swear me! DO IT!!!"

You have never seen Hau this hysterical. He was even yelling at you. Hau, the adorable grandson of the Island Kahauna and fighting type elite four, was yelling st you to pinkie swear him to burden all your friends With your presence. He was biting his lip, straining himself. He was trying to hold back his tears, but they were coming down in a flood. He held out his pinkie towards you within his fre ehand, clasping the other one so you can't hide crossedd fingers behind your back. He needed that promise. You let out a sigh.

"Alright, I Pinkie Swear."

You looked your pinkie with his, hooking it tight. You squirt your eye shut to prevent another tear from falling. It falls anyways. Lots of tears shed behind the Pokémon center in Hau'oli city. Maybe this can be the universal crying spot. Hau wasn't accepting it. He shook his head violently.

"Say the whole thing!"

You let out a deep breath. Hau was fighting his emotional state. He has never been like this before. Before today, he's never cried in front of anybody. He's never yelled st any living thing before. He doubts he's ever yelled like this in his life. But deep down in his heart he just can't stand it anymore. You're avoiding everyone. You're convincing yourself you're worthless when that's the exact opposite. You're worth everything. Everything to him. That's the thing you'll never know. He loves you.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Hau let our a breath of relief, letting your hands go from his own. He wished he could hold your hands in better circumstances. He wiped his eyes. He wished he never cried in front of you. He covered his mouth. He wished he never yelled at you like he did. Hau did the wrong thing, but his heart couldn't take much more of this. He needed reassurance that would would finally come back home to your ohana.

Ohana means family

And family means no one gets left behind 

Not even you.

Okay this was a tear jerker oh my goodness. I hate myself for writing this. I'm so sorry.

~Eva