I Could Have Never Imagined This

Chapter 34

Chapter 34: It Is What It Is

~Song Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons~

~SYLVIE'S POV~

** 12 Months Later**

It's been 12 months. Almost a full year. I can't stop thinking about him. Everyday since then has been agony. I miss him so much. His soft touch when he held my face in his hands or when he gently intertwined his fingers with mine. I loved him so much. He's probably moved on now. I don't think I can ever move on. I left him. I pushed him away. I thought of that night. I've re-lived it so many times in my mind. I know it backwards. And I didn't even let him explain. How could I do that? The baby was born 3 months ago. It's been so hard. I really wish Harry was here with me. I started working with Ed again and it's been helping heal me a lot. But I would give it all up to be with Harry again.

"Sylvie, get back to work now." 

A firm voice awoke me from my thoughts. Apart from working with Ed I had to find another job to keep the apartment going. I'm not just paying for me now. I'm paying for Julia, Charlie, and myself. I smiled to myself as I walked over to a guy at the bar. I loved the name Julia chose for the baby. She used Niall's middle name as his middle name to. Charlie James Horan.

"What can I get for you?" 

I walked up to the man. I was working at a bar but it was the busiest bar in LA. We always had work. But it was also the only bar where the bar tenders had to dress sexy as well. All my tops were cut with a lot of cleavage and I had to wear short denim skirts or short denim shorts. I honestly hated it. But I made good money and it paid for everything that recording hadn't paid for. 

"You. At my apartment tonight in my bed."

"If you want sex, there's a strip club in the next town over."

I started to walk away.

"I still want a drink then sweetie." He smirked.

Asshole. I thought. I rolled my eyes and walked over.

"Yes?" 

I was becoming impatient. I was tired, it was almost the end of my shift and I didn't wanna deal with anymore sick pervs tonight.

"I'll get a beer."

"Alright, I'll be right back."

As I turned around he tapped my ass. Hard.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I growled.

"Sylvie." My boss hissed.

I walked over.

"He tapped my ass. I deal with a lot of shit from these guys but I won't tolerate being touched by any of these dirty pigs."

My boss scoffed and I just walked away to prepare the drinks. I was one of the best bar tenders, and I know he didn't want to fire me. I was the only one who worked my ass off. But tonight for some reason I just didn't want to be messed with. 

My shift finally ended and I walked to my car. I got in and got out my phone.

"I'll be there in 5, need anything before I pass the market?"~Sylvie x"

"No!~Julia x"

I got in the apartment and there Charlie was in Julia's arms. Charlie was honestly the cutest thing I have ever seen. And I'm not just saying that because he's my best friend's baby.

"Hey! How was work?" Julia asked.

"Tiring. I just want to collapse."

I walked over to her and took Charlie in my arms.

"Let me see my little God son."

Julia had officially granted me the power of being his God mother. I was so honored. I loved him so much like he would be my own.

"How was your day?" I asked.

Charlie was giggling at the silly faces I was making to him.

"It was good, we already went shopping that's why I didn't need anything."

"Oh, alright..so we're good for the rest of the week?"

"Yep...Sylvie, why don't you just call him? I can see it in your face how much you're hurting."

I looked at her. Why did she bring this up now? I just got back from work.

"Jules, why now? I'm so tired. I just..can't alright? I hurt him....so badly. And I can't face him. He's probably moved on by now. Forgotten all about me anyway. It's something I can never get back."

She took Charlie form my arms. He was starting to squirm feeling my tension.

"I just think you're making a terrible decision Sylvie. I really do."

I was suddenly enraged. She doesn't know anything of the position I'm in with Harry.

"Oh and you would know all about terrible decisions wouldn't you Julia?!" My voice rose as I stood.

Tears started to well up in her eyes.

"You don't have to be such a bitch all the time. You know, I'm sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen."

She went to put Charlie in his bed and she shut his door.

"Oh, I'm being the bitch? Who's working her ass off just so you and Charlie can have food and a place to stay because your mother didn't want to help you out huh? Who's helping you out? I work my fucking ass off for you. And I come home at 2 in the morning every night to you and a crying baby and you tell me that I'm making a terrible decision in my love life? Well just a little heads up Julia I wouldn't be in this position with Harry if it wasn't for you."

"Wasn't I always the one there for you when everything shitty happened in your life? I was always there for you. I've never asked you for anything. And the one time I ask you for help you complain about it. You know how great full I am for everything you've done for me and Charlie. You don't think I'm tired too? While you're away at work and and while you sleep I'm the one who get's up every morning to deal with Charlie. I'm the one changing his diapers and the one getting up in the middle of night because he's crying. Not you. I only said something about Harry because I care about you. And I know you still love him. You do. And you want him here. You're just too fucking stubborn to admit it. You pushed him away Sylvie. And you still have the chance to get him back but for some God damn reason you won't. And I don't understand. You're just killing yourself." She sobbed.

She walked to her room and right before she shut the door she turned around and said,

"And Harry didn't tell you because I asked him not to. He wanted to tell you. But I begged him not to. And you didn't even give him the chance to explain.....You know he doesn't deserve you and all your bullshit. He didn't deserve any of it."

And she shut the door. Leaving me there stunned.

I stood there. Tears strolling down my face. She was right. She was always fucking right. I stormed off to my bedroom and slammed the door. I slid my back down the door and it was just hours of me sitting there sobbing until I finally had the strength to get into bed.

I tossed and turned all night. With no sleep. Tomorrow's my day off. I'll figure things out....I hope.