blue pills // ᴶᴶᴷ.ᴷᵀᴴ

chapter 12 - killer lover

Jungkook's perspective
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"You're fucked in the head, ya know that?"

He looked up at me. His brown eyes gleaming from the tears that still fell. His face was red and puffy, showing off his squishy cheeks. He looked sad, but cute. Like I wanted to save him from the world. I didn't know why I thought that. He's a murderer.

He simply nodded his head. 

"I'm not scared of you though Taehyung. I believe you."

His cries paused. He lifted his face from his palms and met my gaze. "Y-you do?"

"Yeah. Shit I don't know why, but I know you aren't a physcopathic killer. It's something you can't control...right?"

He nodded again. "I-I want to see a therapist but I-I don't have money for one." He sniffed. "I don't know why my brain thinks this way."

Before I even thought about it, I was hugging him. My arms wrapped tight around his waist. One hand rubbing his back while the other ran fingers through his soft hair. He sobbed into my shoulder, repeatedly saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you'.

I wanted to save him. In that moment, I wanted to love him. A killer. Maybe it was because he was so vulnerable. Maybe it was because I knew he just had some mental health problems. Maybe it was because deep down, I knew he had a deep love for me.

"Taehyung?" I whispered in his ear. "I love you too." Part of me regretted saying it. Did I really want to love him? But I couldn't help it, he was my crush in the first place. I was the one who gave him my number and hit on him. Fuck. There was no going back now.

He pulled away slightly, still holding my waist. "I don't w-want you to love me Jungkook."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fucked up Kookie. I-I don't want y-you to have to deal w-with me." He started crying again.

I pulled him back into my arms. "Shh shh, Tae it's okay. I want to love you. I want to help you. We can find you a therapist. We can figure this out. Just breathe."

I clamped my eyes shut. I couldn't believe I was doing this. My words flowing out with no second thought.

After a few minutes, he had controlled his breathing. He pulled away again and nodded. "Thank you Jungkook."

I gave him a smile, but I only felt sadness. Could I actually help him? Could I save his mind from these thoughts? I still had so many questions, but I knew they couldn't all be answered right now. They would come with time.

"Let's sleep for now Tae." I layed back, pulling his arms with me.

He wrapped himself around me and snuggled his head into my chest.

I kissed his forehead and pet his head some more, letting him fall into a deep sleep.

I didn't know what I was doing. I was cuddling with a killer. I was choosing to love a killer. I was as bad as him.

I tried to push all the thoughts away, I could deal with them tomorrow. I slowly fell asleep in the warmth of Taehyung's presence, listening to his soft breathes. Everything seemed so calm in that moment. I hoped it could stay like that.

But I knew it couldn't. 
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Sorry for filler chapter!

Again, thank you for all the reads!! I even got ranked #918 in #taekook :")

My birthday is tomorrow! I'll try and do a long update for my bday lol

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Also check out my other story Pastor Boy if ya want

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