The Risk of Falling in Love: A Jonah vs. Daniel Fanfiction

Chapter 20

I slid into Jonah's room- completely ready for bed. I tiptoe past his sleepy figure, and I lay down on Zach's bed.
I stare at the ceiling, thinking about all the reasons why I didn't kiss Dylan.
a. He caught me off guard
b. Do I like him more than a friend?
c. He isn't Jonah...
d. He isn't Jonah....
e. He isn't Jonah.....
I press my palms to my eyes- frustrated that no matter what I do- who I meet- I will always have feelings solely for Jonah Marais.
"How did it go?" Jonah asks suddenly.
"Holy crap!" I yell sitting straight up. "I thought you were asleep!"
Jonah doesn't say anything else, so I hesitantly respond. "It went pretty well... I don't think there will be a future to it though."
"Oh?" Jonah asks- obviously trying not to sound hopeful.
"Yeah... I'm just so confused right now."
"Me too," Jonah says turning towards me. "I got a call from Daniel..." he adds. "He told me all about the shows." His voice has a sad edge to it, and my heart starts to break a little for him.
"I'm sorry, J."
"He said he needs to talk to you," Jonah says suddenly- as if he wasn't sure if he should bring it up.
"Okay," I say, unsure how to respond.
"Emma i'm going to be honest with you, as you were honest with me," Jonah replies.
"Okay," I repeat, my stomach twisting into a knot.
"Daniel is going to tell you something tomorrow. I'm not sure how you will respond, but I need you to know..." he falters, eyeing the ceiling, "that... I... felt the same connection. And I still feel it right now."
My heart feels like its stopped beating, and my mind begins to spin.
"I... I can't do this right now," I reply breathlessly. "I'm sorry." I bite back the sobs as I run downstairs. I climb into a chair- curling into a ball- and finally, finally letting the tears fall.

                                      ~
I rub my swollen eyes, staring up at the living room ceiling.
I sit up, remembering why I fell asleep on a chair- and why my eyes are swollen from tears.
I take a deep breath- letting it go to
calm myself.
I slide the patio doors open, and I sit in my usual chair over looking the pool.
After a few minutes, my phone rings- Daniels face popping onto the screen.
This is what Jonah was talking about.
"Hey," I say into the phone as calmly as I can bear.
"Hey Em," Daniel says brightly.
"Where are you right now?" I ask, tapping my fingers on the table.
"Indianapolis. We had the best show last night," he says excitedly.
"We're heading to Denver later today."
"Say hey to my home town for me," I reply with a small smile.
Daniel laughs, and says, "I called to tell you something but I totally got sidetracked."
"It happens," I reply- anxiously.
"I wish I was with you... to talk to you in person," Daniel says. "But I feel like I just have to get this off my chest."
"Okay," I reply.
"Em, I told Jonah you didn't like him because I really liked you. And I pretended to date you, because I wanted to date you."
I've never been so surprised in my entire life. My eyes widen, and the room feels like it's spinning.
Daniel liked me?
"Oh?" I reply- no other words coming to mind.
"Em..." Daniel begins again. "I'm over it."
"You are?" 
"Yes," he replies with a small laugh. "I just felt like you should know the truth. I've been dating this really amazing girl- and i'm trying out this new complete honesty thing."
"Thank you," I say with a smile. We both start laughing at Daniels new spiritual awakening.
"How's Jonah?" Daniel asks between laughs.
I pause- Daniel picking up on it.
"What happened?"
I close my eyes. "We may have confessed certain... feelings... and things may be super awkward..."
Daniel laughs into the phone.
"It's about damn time you two get together!"
"No, Dani," I say whining slightly. "You don't understand."
"It seems pretty simple to me Emma. You love Jonah, and he loves you."
"I..." but Jonah continues.
"Em, I can't make you do anything you don't want to do, but as your friend, I'm going to tell you what you should do."
My eyes start to water.
"Go tell that boy you love him. The connection between you two is special, Emma. Don't take that for granted."
The building tears begin to flood down my face.
As usual, Daniel is right.
Denying myself of my feelings is too painful. If Jonah feels the same way great, but if he doesn't, i'll finally have the closure I need to move on- after my broken heart heals of course.
"I really hate you sometimes," I say into the phone.
Daniel laughs and says, "What would you do without me?"
"Thank you Dani, I love you!"
"I love you too weirdo. Now go find Jonah!"
I smile to myself- ending the call.
I take a steadying breath, sliding the door open.
I step into the quiet house, searching for Jonah.
I look everywhere for him, with no luck.
I start to panic. If I don't find him soon, i'm going to lose my newfound courage.
"Jonah!" I call one last time, double checking.
When I hear no reply, I pick up my phone- dialing his number.
When I get his voicemail box three times, I start to worry.
'What if something happen to him?' I think. I would never forgive myself- as I was too busy worrying about myself.
I frantically search the house a few more times, just as unsuccessfully as before.
I run my hands through my hair, grabbing my keys.
I hop into my car, driving to the few places I know Jonah likes.
Against my better judgement I text Dylan.

Me: Hey! Would you happen to know where Jonah is rn?

Dylan: Hey, and no. Is everything okay?

Me: I can't find Jonah anywhere. Do you know anywhere he might go?

Dylan: He likes Long Beach.

And that's when it hits me.
The beach. Jonah told me he likes to watch the waves at sunset, and then he took me there.
How did I not think of this before.
I text Dylan a thank you, and I hop back into my car.
By the time I get too the beach, the sun is beginning to set.
I park my car, with a slight smile playing on my lips.
I run past the parking lot- my eyes searching for Jonah.
I'm about to panic again, when I spot the familiar figure of Jonah- seated on a bench over looking the beach.
I slow to a walk, relief flooding over me.
"Jonah!" I yell over the wind.
He turns around- at first confused- until he spots me.
"Emma?" Jonah says with wide eyes.
"You scared me!" I say coming up next to him. "I've been looking everywhere for you, dude. And I called you like a million times!" I gently nudge his arm.
"Sorry about that," he says with a small smile. "I needed to think."
"And so did I," I reply sitting down next to him.  Jonah glances over at me- like he's trying to figure out what i'm playing at.
Without even thinking, I take his hand in mine.
"I messed up," I say staring Jonah directly in the eyes. "I did everything wrong, and I see that now." I close my eyes, briefly doubting myself.
'No Emma,' I tell myself. 'Remember what Daniel said.'
"Jonah," I start again. "I have loved you since I laid my eyes on you- two long years ago. And I can't pretend that I don't feel things for you anymore, it's too painful."
I stop to read Jonah's expression, but it's completely blank.
I turn away from Jonah, my eyes drifting towards the pavement below me.
We sit in silence for what feels like forever, until Jonah takes my hand back in his- and I suddenly feel like i'm floating.