Someday Soon. By Hassanab

Chapter Twelve

*Not Edited*

I had to put on a fake smile throughout   the entire day as i went about the day, with the words he said still etched on my mind making me clench whenever his name was mentioned.

I was sitting on the lounge staring at the sky and looking at clouds  floating by, even the sea was calm, a perfect getaway resort for a nice retreat, but still my heart wasn't at rest.
my husband of a week was no where to be seen.

Earlier in the day he left me all by myself, a honeymoon that was suppose to  be for two, in all sense it was suppose to be the tie to draw us  together, but it's seems to be doing quite the opposite.

I stared at my wedding bands adorning my fingers a symbol of  our togetherness but in the real sense it was more like an anchor tying me down in this facade called marriage.

The shrilling  cry of the phone interrupted my thoughts, picking it up I was more than delighted to see the caller's ID.

Hello , I answered lazily since  i was in no mood to talk about my nonexistent marital issue since I got married to Amir.

Hey babe,how's it going am actually surprised to see you pick my calls I thought you would be quite busy with your spouse,
Urgh......I stifled knowing my bestie has no filter when it gets to words.

Nothing you won't do with your husband girlfriend,

Hmmn let see, I won't be picking up any calls from anyone during my honeymoon, you see she chimed in deflating the aura of joy I found seeing that am not totally worthless since she remembered me.

So have you pop the Cherry, she questioned,

Urgh she can switch mode from beinv caring to being nosy, she doesn't know where to draw the line.

That won't be what my mum would ask me, so stop putting me on the spot, and tell me why you decided to call me, this beautiful morning.

OK, she took a deep breadth before squealing in my ears that she was pregnant.

I held the phone away from my ears quickly so I shouldn't turn deaf
Masha Allah, wow am so happy for you, you deserve every good thing happening to you.

At that moment I couldn't but felt pain in my heart wishing for a child of my own k could give and shower love to.
But I quickly masked my pain by being happy for her, knowing truly well she deserved it.

Thanks, so much, she said her voice sounding shaky and I knew she was at the verge of crying.

She changed the subject quickly knowing her so well that she likes to put people on the spot but hates when she is the topic of discussion.

So I let it slide by playing along with her.

Alright enough about me give me the juicy details she persisted.

Nothing much just sipping an exotic cocktail and gazing at the sea i answered.

Opps, you forgot to add with a handsome hunk by your side girl, learn to appreciate Allah's gift girl she added.

I sighed loudly about that, I won't deny how handsome he is and so pleasing to the eye but he isn't by my side at the moment.

What! she gasped he can't leave you all alone in a foreign country all by yourself am going to inform  Ahmed he has to call his cousin to order.

Pls don't!
what i don't want is for him to add to his never ending list of me is  a gossiper, all I required of you is your prayers.

I pleaded with her and I hung later after our discussion.

*Three hours later*

I was still praying my nawafils (voluntary prayers) when he entered the room as he went straight for the bed.

I returned back to the room to see that he was already asleep, looking at the tray on the table which was still left untouched, it's was getting alarming because he hadn't touch any food except coffee since we got to here.

I called him and when I didn't receive any answer I tapped him on the shoulder gently to wake him up, he stirred with his eyes still shut.

After being successful with my quest i went ahead to ask him why he left is food untouched, he just mumbled a reply which wasn't audible enough for me to hear his reply and went back to sleep leaving me there feeling like a failure.

I sniffed as I try to control the water works from falling as I held my head up, I went to the other side  bending down to be  at the same  level as he was still lying on the bed with his back to me.

I gulped down trying to swallow the lump that formed in my throat, clearing my voice to get his attention, but the result was still the same as it was since the beginning of our marriage.

I know have given you a lot of reasons to doubt me over and over again, big for Allah's sake am begging you to give me this last chance to right my wrong, please i begged dropping my pride for once knowing that  I was as much to blame for this circumstance that we are in.

He turned to me and he stared at me has if he couldn't believe his eyes, he shook his head as if he was dreaming and wanted to decipher whether the situation was true or not.

He brought down his legs from the bed has we where now staring at each other in the face.

Let's take a walk down memory lane, he said as he motioned for me to sit beside him, I couldn't even change the position I was in fearing for this moment not to end.

I met a person while growing up he was very nice, down to earth, to wrap it up he was a good person, he never had a grudge with anyone he was loved by all.

On a faithful day i was on my way to school and like always I was expecting to see him wave to me like he always did, but to my outermost surprise I met a crowd of people gather at his usual spot , I almost dismissed this feeling to  mind my business but my guts was telling me to check what was amaze, loo and behold I saw him in a pool of blood struggling for his last breadth, I quickly ran back to the other side and wretched my guts out, seeing as how disturbing that image was, immediately I thought life was cruel to have done this to a pious man like him, but when his whole story was uncovered I felt disgusted for having anything to do with him, 
when I realized he was nothing but a thief, who thought stealing and robbing people of their lives at night and helping the masses during the day was his way of asking for forgiveness.

So the morale of this story is that true forgiveness is earned from our Rabb (creator), and to ease your worries, i have forgiven you long time ago, to be at peace with myself.

But if you are telling me to forget what happen it can't happen.
Because all those incidence shaped me into who I am.

At that moment I had mixed feelings not knowing whether to be happy at him clearing the confusion or me baring my heart to him knowing I have just given him the biggest weapon, my heart.

Sorry for updating so late, I know have offended quite a few, it wasn't my intention.
All the same vote, comment and share.

Am anticipating your comments.
Kisses and hugs.