Faking a smile

What happened

*LAURENS POV*

(Dream) it's my 8th birthday today ! Yay! I'm so exited ! All the popular people started being my friend,about a week ago. This is so good because it's my birthday party and now I have lots of people to come. Dylan Harris asked me out the other day, and of course I said yes because all the cool girls have boyfriends.

'MY BABYS 8 TODAY! I'm so exited for my little munchkin to have all her friends around' my mommy said as she squeezed my cheeks.

' look at how chubby your'e getting baby! Have you been eating all the pies ?' My daddy rubbed my belly and chucked.

The popular kids used to call me fat, so I did something about it, but we are friends now so it doesn't matter to me.

DING DONG the bell went and I ran to open the door, but it's burst open and floods of giggling girls and boys ran in.

Mackenzie ray walked up to me. She was wearing a pink,sparkly sharpay dress, with a sparkly handbag and lots and lots of bangles. Her hair was curly and pulled over to the side and she had pink lipstick,pink blusher and mascara on her face. She also wore sparkly heels.

'Hiya Jauregui' she smiled twiddling her fingers and waving.

'Hi mack' I smiled and grabbed her hand running in the kitchen. She pulled away and looked me up and down and laughed. I wore black shiny leggings, with a Hannah Montana jumper.

The rest of the party went really smoothly, I danced to my music, took photos on my iPod and ate cake and party food. All the girls kept whispering and telling the boys something. When I asked she said it was a Surprise. Yay! I love surprises!

Everyone sat down in the living room and watched camp rock. I went the toilet and all of a sudden, Dylan was stood behind me.

'Hello Dylan' I smiled waving

'Hi Jauregui, where's your bedroom ?'

'Right here' I led him into my pink hannah Montana room and all of a sudden felt a force on my chest and I got pushed onto my bed

'Take your clothes of' Dylan demanded

I want my mommy, I'm scared

'No no I don't wanna I'll get shout-'

I got cut of by a slap and tears escaped my eyes

'Now'

I took my clothes off, and my underwear, as he told me. He did something strange and got his private area out. All of a sudden he was forcing himself into me and a cried In pain. I wanted to scream but her shoved the quilt in my mouth. Once he finished, he ran off laughing and I heard everyone leaving and also laughing at the story he just told them. I jumped in the shower getting rid of the blood and cried a lot. I made myself bleed on purpose a lot that night. My mommy and daddy didn't even come and check that I was alright. I'm scared, I'm so so scared. (End of dream)

I woke up. Sweating. It was literally dripping from me aswell as the tears. I don't know how I've woke up, after I took the 3 tablets. I guess I really wanted to get away from that memory.

I reached for my phone and switched on my lamp.

3:37am

3 text messages

1 tweet

I opened the messages

Mackenzie: hi whoregui! You seem to be getting fatter ?

You should probably throw up to make you loose some weight!

Remember that time that Dylan raped you and took your virginty ? Haha what a great 8th birthday. He said he wants to see you again for your 19 th? You up for a party with your good old friends? Ahahahahaha 😂😄 loser 😑👊

Bitch.

I then opened the tweet.

@princessmackray: @laurenjauregui remember when you lost your virginty at 8 years old ? I can't believe you raped that dude. Ew slut.

Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. I can't believe she just tweeted me that. The worst thing is. It had been retweeted. By me.. Someone hacked me and retweeted it. Making it visible for EVERYONE to see. SHIT SHITTY SHIT SHIT.

I scrolled through my twitter, seeing 'i' had replied.

@laurenjaregui: @princessmackjay yea 😩 regret it but he was good for my first time 😕

I quickly deleted the tweets,blocked Mackenzie and changed my password in a hurry. I knew it was too late. My notifications was blowing up and the amount of replies where outstanding. I can't stand this anymore. I have to get away.

I stood up, pulled my boots on, and some leggings. I pulled my hood up and grabbed my bag. I walked into my bathroom, pulled out a full bottle of vodka and rummaged through, eventually finding my lighter,weed and the roll up. Throwing everything into my bag, I grabbed my phone from of charge and snuck out the house. Everything was so quite, and tense. I could just see me falling or sneezing or coughing. I made it to the door and pulled it open, so slowly. I swear I was opening the door for about 10 minutes.

Once making it out safely, I walked through the icy cold dark night. The roads were clear, and everything was so silent. I wondered how many people where feeling as shitty as me right now. I looked up to the sky, the stars sparkled bright into my eyes, and the moon castes over me, creating my shadow to stick right in front of me.

I walked for about 30 minutes, until I finally reached the beach. The tide was in quite far, only leaving a little bit of dry sand. I ran over to it, threw my bag on the sand and pulled out the vodka and weed. I also threw my worthless body into the sand, just like I had done with my bag, and lay there for a while. Thinking. I gulped the vodka and in haled the weed. I could feel myself slipping away, into a different world, where everything would be okay. I wouldn't have to worry about all the concerts,interviews,lying, and all the other shit that comes along with my once dream.

I fell asleep, still exhausted from the previous events earlier today.

When I woke, it was 9am

People would start coming down to the beach now. I don't think I can face a single person. I got up dragging all my belongings over my shoulder and walked and walked and walked. I plugged in my earphones and turned on 1975 robbers. The music filled my brain and everything seemed to, make sense. The lyrics spoke to me an I related to them. Everything was going to be okay.

11am I'm still walking except, through unfamiliar fields and dark alleys. I actually had no idea where I had gotten myself too, but this alone time was really needed to collect my thought together and really clear my head.

At 1am I ended up on the road of Demi's house. Since 10am, I had been receiving around 100 calls and texts of everyone of the girls. I didn't want to reply as I just needed some alone time.

I can't imagine the reaction I'm going to get if I walk through that door. I'd been gone all night and morning. They have probably heard about the tweets. Everything seems to be getting worse and worse. Surely God should let me have some happiness in my life. Nope okay.

I walked through the door, letting out a sigh of relief, when I realised they where not downstairs. I strolled past all the rooms, and entered my room.

There they all stood. Looking full of pain. I then realised what I had done. Again. And I could tell the where all getting fed up of looking after me.

"What happened to you Lauren" a voice full of pain flooded the silence.

"Yanno, I'd like to know" I replied walking deeper into my room, and deeper Into the dreaded conversation that awaited me..