Faking a smile

Rules

*LAURENS POV*

I didnt know what to do. Of course i knew i needed help from the very start, but actually seeking it? I dont think i can do that! I feel like i'm too messed up to even get any better. My eyes shot to camila who was intensely staring at me as her eyes filled up with tears. My natural friend instinct was to hug her. Thats exactly what i did. I hugged her and held her tightly as if it was the last time i would ever hold her. Our body warmth connected as my arms hugged around her waist tightly. Isn't it weird how two human bodies can fit perfectly together to show love or support? Our bodies fit like a jigsaw puzzle. In that very moment i never wanted to leave her. I wanted to stay connected to her. She pulled away and wiped away her tears then proceeded to walk up the stairs.

"D-demi i dont think i can do that" i admitted

"Lolo we'll be here to support you! You have to do this its for your own good" ally added

"My career, i dont want to-"

"Lauren i think its clear you cant carry on like this. You cant carry on hiding things anymore. Its out, theres no going back" dinah told me

" i have to speak to camila.." I turned quickly and ran up the stairs

"CAMILA! Let me in!" I shouted and the door opened straight away. I was taken back by a kiss and then she pulled me into the room.

"Camila, i am so so sorry. I dont even know how i ended up to be such a mess. I just wish i didnt have to dump it all onto you and demi and the girls. Im in deep deep love with you camila. I always have been. Since the day we met. I know everything i do is well unexplainable and im sorry youve had to deal with my confusing actions. I think im going to get help. I definitely need it, like whats going on up here cant carry on and i'm not normal, i'm sorry.." I pulled her close to me and kissed her head. Her long brown wavy locks flew perfectly down her spine. She lifted her head up to my face and smiled.

"I love you" she whispered

"I love you too.." I replied back

~

(TWO DAYS LATER)

"Second floor room 208" Sarah,the overly perky receptionist told me

"Thanks" i replied quietly. I was walking to my room and so many people would stop and stare and whisper. Like i know i'm famous and im in this BIG DEAL. Famous people have problems too. I just rolled my eyes and made it to my door. The brown door was blocking of my home for 4 months. Beneath that door i could here music playing. Happy music.

I'll never be that girl again

No i'll never be that girl again

My innocents is wearing in

But my heart it growing strong

So call me

Call me

Call me

Miss movin on

Am i seriously going to be sharing my room with a fan girl?!!! I mean i love the fans but it hurts me for them to know that i'm hurting because i'm supposed to be an idol. Well here it goes. I twisted the handle and it opened straight away.

The room is big. On the left side in the top corner is a single bed. The bed sheets are pink with yellow flowers and it had lots of smaller pink and yellow pillows surrounding it. Next to the bed on the right is a bedside table. On the bedside table there is a stereo,where the music is coming from, and a yellow daisy flower in a pink jar. The walls by the bed are pink but the paint cuts off at a certain point, showing where her area ends. In the bottom left corner there is a pink desk table. There isnt much on it except for a few photos and a pen and paper. My focus drew back to the walls next the the bed. My face is all over that part of the walls. Normani,Camila,Ally and dinah also accompanied me. Many of our photoshoots and some of us on stage. I then noticed a photo right above her bed. It was a m&g. With us. I had my lips pressed on her cheek and my arm over her shoulder. Camila lay on the floor with one leg in the air. Ally and Normani pretended to fight as Dinah hugged herself. The girl in the picture is really pale but with long straight dark hair. Her cheekbones stick out and she is very slim. Thats when i realised. The girl i'm sharing a room with is the girl whos wrist i accidentally saw but never said a word to her. I now realised that was a selfish action. If i had said one thing like i love you please dont do that, maybe she wouldnt be in this place. She had her back towards the door. She is sat up watching an ipad that is resting on the boarder on her bed. A guitar is in her arms and she is strumming along to what looks like a tutorial on youtube. I dont know if i should walk straight in to my bed,leave or just go up to her and say hi. I decided to leave as i didnt think id be ready. I walked down into the what i guess is like the living room. People kept staring and i accidentally bumped into a staff here.

"OMG! I'm so sorry lauren are you okay?" The very young lady asked me kindly

"Yea sorry, i wasnt concentrating.." I shook my head and went to walk away

"Why havent you taken your stuff to your room yet?" She asked me

"Oh well-

"Lauren" she whispered in my ear "come to my office so we dont have to have such a public conversation, they love the gossip" she giggled so i agreed

Once we reached the office i found out the ladys name is Felicity but likes being called Felc.

"Okay well i went to my room and found out my room mate is a massive fan of me? I love my fans but it hurts to have my fans know im hurting. I met her at a m&g and i saw her wrist and didnt say anything then i got guilty that i could of helped her or prevented her being in here, so i left" i admitted

"I'm not supposed to release anything about another patient but she was in here before her m&g. She was very excited and well youll have to speak to her find out more information" Felc smiled. I think i like her, i think she might be able to help me.

"Yea its just,strange to have people know about my struggles,especially a big fan." I shrugged

"Itll be fine! Well we have to talk about the rules here and your timetable, so monday,which is today, you'll have free time to settle down all day. Tomorrow at 11am you need to be downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast you will be accompanied for approximately 4 hours. No alone time,not even to go toilet. Throughout them four hours you will have an hour of social class, so just speaking and meeting other patients. Next hour you will have a talk session,where you will be talked to in a group about a certain subject. The third hour you will have a group therapy session and the last hour youll have a therapy session with your personal therapist. You are actually assigned to me! So im your support for your stay here. After the four hours you go to dinner for an hour. Between 5-7 you have free time so you can be in your room,outside,computers but you wont be able to get away with anything as you will always be being watched even though someone is not in your presence. At 8 you should be in your pyjamas and down in the cinema room to watch a film. At 10 everyone should be in there rooms and then you can sleep whenever you choose to. I know there are alot of rules and it sounds like a boarding school or summet like that, but honestly this is the best system for you to get better so please dont get in any trouble!" she smiled

"Thats alot to take in and itll be weird following rules like that,but i'll try. I should go my room now thank you bye FELC!!" I shouted as i ran to my room.

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(A/N) okay so BIIIIIG chapter. I wanted to get Lauren in treatment and understanding the rules she has to follow whilst there. I wanted to add the fangirl in so that they can have some sort of friendship bad or good. Next chapter will be updated soon and yup. Hope you enjoyed it :)