Faking a smile

Angel

*CAMILAS POV*

I woke up early. Lauren was lying next to me still fast asleep. She looks like a beautiful angel. Im never going to let her go again. Ever.

"Camila?.." Her soft raspy voice muttered my name

"Yes lolo?" I answered to her

"What are you doing today?" She asked me

"The girls wanted to go on this trek? Like up in the hills and all them beautiful places?" I replied to her

"I think im gonna stay home.." She slowly spoke, falling back to sleep.

"Well be back by 7pm. Love you, stay safe." I replied to her and i left the house.

We walked through the branches and through the bushes and climbed up muddy hills until we finally reached the top. At the top of the hill (that was sort of a cliff) was a view that could change anyones view on life. The sea reached put until it met with the clear blue sky. The waved rolled over calmly. The whole sea was clear, not a boat in sight. This is the world. The world we live in. It is polluted, there is racism, there is sexism. In this world people suffer from abuse. Physically, mentally. Bullying happens way to much. Young children and being abused or neglected. Innocent people are being murdered. Children are starving. Why do we live in a world with so much pain? So much hate? Gods never planned for the world to turn out like this. Have you ever heard of the story from the bible about the devil? The devil is supposed to run the world for a certain amount of years. If he succeeds, he gets to be the ruler. If not, then god takes back his place. I believe that in this moment of time, the devil is running. The terrible acts of mankind is the devils choice. Hes chosen all these people to be bad. Hes chosen the world to be this terrible. Right now, as i look out onto this beautiful view, i feel connected to god. The first time in years. I felt like god is there and he is looking after me. He is going to help me through struggles. Hes not going to let the devil carry on destroying the world and the world that innocent kind people live in. The devil wont change me. The heavens begin to open up as my thoughts carry on. I smile. I smile because god is opening up the pathway to heaven for all those people that have died in this moment. Hes welcoming them to a safer,happier place. I know that they Are good people. Im happy that they can be at peace and away from this horrid world.

"Camila?" Dinah shook my arm

"Sorry i got really carried away with my thoughts.."

"We should start heading back its 6pm.." Ally reminded us

Its took us an two hours to get home. Once we walked through the door, there was a weird coldness and silence. I couldnt hear lauren listening to music, or watching tv. It was just silent.

"Hey we're going in the kitchen to get some food?" Normani told me

"Me and lauren will come down in a minute, im just going to say hi!" I said to her as i walked up stairs.

For some reason, as i walked down the hallway, getting closer and closer to laurens room, my stomach began to churn and tighten. My fears grew stronger.

My hand touched the cold door knob to laurens room. It was still silent. As i twisted it and opened the door. My whole world came shattering down. She was there hanging from her bedroom fan. Her perfect body was worthlessly hanging. Her small bones where all that was left of my beautiful girlfriend. My angel. For some reason, i didnt cry. I didnt break down. I walked in and shut the door. On her made bed was a note. Her suicide not. I picked it up and un folded it.

" Dear, whoever finds me. Im sorry you had to see my like this. I hope that when you remember me, you remember my smile not my soulless body hanging from the ceiling.

Camila, you are my world. You will always be my world. I think you are beautiful but im not going to say that. You know how i feel about you and i will always feel that way, till my death. I did feel that way till my death. Im sure that if my soul carrys on living, i will still feel the unconditional love i feel for you. Dont beat yourself up about this. Its what i wanted. Dont think "if i had been there" "if i had known" because either way, i would have found away to do this and nobody would have stopped me. You say im an angel right? Well arent angels supposed to be in heaven.

Girls&Demi, im sorry that i have left you. Im sorry that i have taken away your happiness for a little while, but it will come back eventually. Youll learn how to smile. If you dont smile, ill be angry. Im always going to be watching you from up there. Im going to be your nightingale. Dinah and mani i hope that you get to meet Beyonce and you should carry on being the best version of yourself. Ally, i know you're religious. When you come to church to pray, i hope you feel me connecting with you. Im sorry i had to leave so soon, its for the best. I love you all. I love you Demi. My warrior. My skyscraper. Im your nightingale now. You dont have to worry about me.

I love you all. Stay safe.

Love from lauren.. Xox "

"NOOOOOOOOOO" My piercing scream was uncontrollable. All the girls ran upstairs, along with demi who had just arrived home. They all stood in shock and they stared at laurens body and ran over to me hugging me and screaming over and over again. We all cried in each others arms. Demi decided she had to call the ambulance, even though it was too late. I had lost the love of my life. Love will remember..

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