No Time | Grey's Anatomy // Book 1 // COMPLETED |

18 | Every Day

With my hands clasped behind my back, I hung my head low. Standing in Derek's office, I was accompanied by Webber, Lexie, April, and Gary Clark. 

Devastated over his wife's condition, Gary had demanded a meeting with the Chief of Surgery. It was obvious he wasn't going to let us turn off the machines keeping his wife alive without a fight, which I understand; everyone did. We just wished Gary knew that even though we were legally required to do it, it didn't mean that we wanted to.

Alison had been our patient and we were torn-up about what had happened as well.

"Mr. Clark, I'm deeply sorry for your . . . for your loss." Derek apologized.

Mr. Clark shook his head, his eyes red from crying. "No, don't . . . don't speak about my wife as if she's dead. She's still here. She could wake up."

"She's not gonna wake up, Mr. Clark." Derek was probably the fourth person to try and explain this to Gary. "Not with the brain damage she suffered."

"You don't know that." Gary refused to accept the facts.

Clearing his throat, Webber took a cautious step forward. "Mr. Clark, if we don't obey your wife's directive, if we ignore her wishes-"

"-she signed that three years ago," Gary repeated. 

"Her health will deteriorate. She'll lose body mass. She'll have no immune system." Derek told him.

Webber nodded in agreement while Lexie, April, and I remained silent in the background. "She'll require around-the-clock care, and that can become very expensive very quickly."

Gary drew in a deep breath, trying not to cry. "I don't care about that."

"It'll be no life for either of you." Derek hoped he could appeal to the logical side of Gary's mind. "And that's why your wife signed the advanced directive. She didn't want to have to live her life this way. And she didn't want you to live your life this way either."

Gary grimaced. "Don't you speak for my wife. Don't you dare speak for my wife."

Derek just sighed. There was nothing else he could do. "I'm sorry, Mr. Clark, but the ethics committee has reviewed your case. We are bound by law to obey her wishes."

"If you unplug my wife . . . you'll be killing her."  Gary spoke quietly, almost afraid that he may burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," Derek apologized once more. "You should, uh, take all the time you need to call your family . . . to say goodbye."

"There's no one to call." Gary hung his head. "We didn't have any family. It was just us. We didn't have any kids. It's just me."

Out of nowhere, April fled from the room, followed by Lexie. After a few more minutes of quiet contemplation, Gary seemed to have finally wrapped his head around what had happened and what was going to happen next.

Standing from his chair, Gary gave Derek a small nod before leaving the office and returning to his wife's room, where he would spend as much time as he could with her before we had to carry out the advanced directive.

"I just wish there was more we could do," I finally spoke up as I watched Gary disappear down the hall through the large windows surrounding Derek's office. 

"We all do." Derek sighed. "But these rules are in place for a reason. This is what Mrs. Clark wanted, and we have a responsibility to honour that decision."

With that, I decided to head down to the pit and see if there was anything I could do to distract my mind, even if only for an hour or so. Just as I had hoped, the chaos of the ER entangled me as soon as I walked through the doors, and suddenly, I didn't have any time to feel upset.