it's you [malik]

eight | overwhelmed

"Babe, what is he talking about?" I asked quietly.

There's this huge silence spread across the room and it's just making everything more intense.

"Have I ruined something? I thought she already knew about it." Liam continued.

Knew about what?

No ones saying anything.

"Would you just stop talking, you idiot." Louis says to him.

"Alana forgive us, don't hate us. We're not very good at keeping secrets." Harry apologized then I just nodded.

"Come here." Niall saids pulling me to a corner so we can talk in private.

"What are they talking about? You never asked me about going on tour with you." I asked angrily.

He can't just assume I will say yes because we're dating. I mean shit. He really never even brought it up.

"No, thats not what this is. You remember that disc your friend gave to me?" he asked then I nodded.

Please don't tell me he's about to say what I think he is.

"I showed it to the boys and to Simon like I said I would." he starts then my stomach drops. "Well, basically he loved it and Simon wants to see you perform live."

Live?

I haven't performed live since I was 18, shit I haven't danced since then either.

This is exactly why I didn't want Brooklyn to show him the stupid as video in the first place.

"Why does he want us to perform live?"

"Because if you do well and he still loves your group then Blaze will be opening for One Direction on our OTRA tour." He explained.

Holy shit.

"Also, if that doesn't pull through I wanted ask if you would like to come with me. It's a year long and I don't want to have to deal with the whole long distance thing with you. Plus, you said you wanted to travel so this seems like a good opportunity."

I'm just absolutely blown away right now, and kind pissed off.

At Brook of course.

"What?" is all that can come out of my mouth right now.

"Don't be overwhelmed, babe. It's really not too complicated. You just have to pick a different song you have and perform it for him." he said.

Is he serious?

"How can I not be overwhelmed, Niall? I can't just quit my job and tour with you are you crazy? My life isn't just drop and go like that. I have bills to pay." I rant. "And, how is Nia going to write a new song and me choreograph it in only three days?"

"You can rehearse here when we aren't and I can take care of all of that stuff for you. I don't want you to be stressed out, alright. Breathe." he says.

"I need time to think about this. A lot of time. Alone." I say then start backing away from him.

"Wait, let me atleast take you home." he calls after me then I shake my head.

"No. I need space, just give me some space." I say back before walking back out to the crisp air.

I get out my phone and call Nia so she can pick me up and get me the hell out of here.

I am on ten different levels of stressed out right now. I probably seem crazy freaking out over having the opportunities to travel the world with my boyfriend and possibly my best friends but, this is so much deeper.

No one even knows of us we can't just open up for them when we only came from performing at talent shows four years ago.

"What happened Lana?"

Nia came to pick me up eventually and could automatically sense my mood.

She didn't say anything for the first five minutes but, I guess if someone was sulking next to you in a car you would want to know why.

"I'm not in the moo to talk about it now. Later." I mutter and she just nodded and let me be.

We get home and I automatically recluse to my bedroom, crawl under my duvet and drown in my thoughts.

I cant use Niall to become famous.

I will not.

I really don't even want to be famous. But, this is such a opportunity for the three of us and could potentially be life altering. Brook and Nia are so talented and this could be huge for them.

I feel like my decision will change everyones life and I'm not ready for that.

I could just go by myself.

But, I can't even imagine how hurt they would be if they find out. That would be completely selfish and they would never forgive me.

Now that I think about it, it's not even really only my choice to make.

It's all of ours.

I just don't want to hurt anyone.

Especially Niall, because I really like him and care about him.

While having these dreadful thoughts I hear a knock on my door then I sigh.

It's now or never.

"Come in."

"So are you going to tell us what happened? Or are you just going to sulk for four more hours?" Brook asked walking in with Nia sitting on the edges of my bed.

"It's all you're fucking fault. I wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for you. Now I have to choose between my fucking sisters and my boyfriend. And I really like him. I found a nice guy for once in my life and you potentially ruined it." I say feeling a flow of emotions coming out of me while tears stream down my face.

Brook looks down guiltily avoiding my eyes probably actually realizing what she does has consequences and she can't just mess with peoples lives.

"What do you mean you have to choose?" Nia asked.

"Niall told me that if we write and choreograph a new song for Simon to perform for him in about three days, we get to go on tour with One D." I explained then they both gasped. "Or if I want to I can just go by myself and be with Niall." I add.

They just sit quietly for a few minutes then I hear Brooklyn start to speak.

"I honestly don't see the problem."

Of course she doesn't.

"This is a one in a lifetime opportunity for us and you're acting like you just got diagnosed with cancer." She stands up.

"Look, you get to see your boyfriend everyday while traveling the world with your best friends. You're wasting time crying when you can be choreographing." Brook says then I just roll my eyes.

"I'm not going to use my boyfriend for fame and neither are you." I say.

"We aren't using him for fame. He's the one who offered to tell Simon. We aren't doing anything wrong." she explained then I look to Nia for her opinion.

"He did offer." she smiled sheepishly.