it's you [malik]

twenty-eight || done

After I fell asleep for the second time today I didn't wake up until the afternoon. I'm not complaining though. If i don't get a good enough sleep I'm really irritable and just not in the best mood.

Niall was gone. He had left me a note saying that he was going to be in rehearsals for most of the day. At least that means I don't have to see Zayn. But just for precaution I'm just going to stay locked up in my room all day.

This is basically all I do now. I mean I don't really have friends anymore so the only person I'm ever with is Niall.

Why? Well it's pretty simple.

I'm completely pissed at Zayn (as of today) and my so called 'best friends' talk shit about me behind my back.

I need to get out more and make friends with other people but I can't because I'm always so busy.

Knock Knock.

Who the hell is knocking on my door?

I mean seriously I make plans to be antisocial and someone has to ruin it. I'm sure it's someone I don't want to talk to either.

Like Brook. Or Zayn.

I hope it isn't Zayn.

He's probably confused as to why I walked away from him this morning but I really don't care.

Honestly, I don't plan on talking to him ever again. The whole friends with benefits thing is over and honestly it never should have started. It was a dumb idea that my dumbass agreed with. Anyways.

I just want to get through this tour as drama-free and stress-free as possible.

I make my way towards the door then open it revealing Brooklyn. That's not as bad as you-know-who but I'm not excited for this conversation either.

I already know it's going to be about her and Nia's conversation. It has to be.

If it was about anything else she would have texted, called, or just talked to me the next time she saw me.

But no, she's in my room.

"Hey Alana." she smiled sitting on the edge of my bed while I returned to my previous spot under the duvet.

"Hey chica. What's going on?"

My best bet is to just to pretend like I don't know what she's talking about. I might as well.

I mean, there isn't anything going on with me and Zayn anymore anyways. So confirming that we were a thing in the past is irrelevant.

"Alright so I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. I'm your friend and I want to be honest with you just like you should be honest with me." she states then I just nod.

I'm your friend and I want to be honest with you just like you should be honest with me.

Shut the fuck up.

If you wanted to be honest with me you would've came to me first. Not Nia.

"Is there something going on with you and Zayn?" she asked bluntly then my breath hitches.

Hearing her say it outloud is takes me by shock honestly.

Yeah, I knew she was going to ask but hearing 'you' and 'Zayn' in the same sentence brings it to some reality.

"Not really no." I lie feeling my throat tighten.

She just sighs and runs her hand through her hair causing her long jet black curls to bounce against her shoulders.

"Look. I'm not trying to judge you. I'm the last person to critique someones relationships." she chuckles gently.

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Her and Nia are my best fucking friends and I'm acting as if they'll hate me for cheating on my boyfriend.

Yeah, they'd probably talk shit and tell me that what i'm doing is stupid. But they'll always have my back and I don't know why I ever doubted that.

They just want what's best for me.

"Just don't get too comfortable, okay? If Niall finds out this whole thing would blow up in our faces." she says then I nod again.

"Trust me, it's over. I realized how much of a dick he is and I'm completely done with him." I say lifting myself up from the bed.

Saying it outloud really felt good.

I can't help but to feel like all Zayn wanted to do was use me. He just saw me as someone he could have sex with.

With the whole friends with benefits thing he was just trying to make it seem like he was helping me. He manipulated me and I fell for it.

God, I'm such an idiot.

"If you say so." she said then walked towards the door. "Don't forget rehearsals later."

I watched the door close behind her as she left then I just lay back down stuck with my thoughts and self judgment.

I need to distract myself. I don't want to think about this all day. I deserve a break.

With that being said I get my phone from my night stand then just start scrolling through social media.

My Instagram has really blown up since starting this tour. I'm verified and I have about 400k followers now and the girls are around the same.

I didn't know it would be so quick honestly. It's only been like a month since New York and we've only done about 20 shows.

I'm sure it really came to me specifically from dating Niall and our posts together.

All his fans love us together and I really appreciate all the support because usually when any girl dates one of the boys they get dragged. I mean Taylor Swift. Elenor Calder. It was not pretty.

I get tired of Insta and they decide to check my notifications.

I pull down from the top of my phone and the first thing that pops up are text messages from the infamous Zayn.

6:30am

"why'd you just walk off like that?"

8:35am

"are we okay?"

1:20pm

"hellloooo"

"i'm sorry about asking about your dad. i should have known it was off limits."

Yeah. No.

I don't have time for this. I don't his need ass texting me constantly because he feels bad. He should have never asked me about it in the first place.

If i can't "care" about him he shouldn't be able to "care" about me.

I go up to his contact settings and press the block button next to his name.

Problem solved.

Now all I have to do is avoid him around the hotel and at shows. I'll be fine.

Hopefully.