it's you [malik]

twenty-one || morning

March 1st, 2015

It's been about a week since Zayn and I agreed to be "friends with benefits" and honestly it's going great. Well, as great as it can be for two people constantly sneaking around having sex with someone they shouldn't be. But its kind of exhilarating.

But now that its kind of okay for me to be with him (sexually ofc) i seriously want it like all the time. Zayn kind of destresses me as well. Having sex with him just automatically puts me in a good and relaxed mood. Not even to mention the sleep I get afterwards. This is probably the most well rested i've been in a while. Usually (unless we're in my room which we aren't because Nia and Brook) I could fall asleep in Zayn's room he just lets me stay until the next morning while he sleeps on the couch. It's actually kind of sweet.

I decided to have sex with Zayn this morning because we have a show tonight and also I want to spend time with Niall later. I haven't really seen him that much since all of this Zayn shit happened. I can tell hes getting worried about us so I'll just order us some Chinese then we can hang out in his room for the night.

"Morning sex.. Thats different." Zayn says from the bed watching me get ready for rehearsals.

"Yeah. I'm going to be with Niall tonight so."

Nialls name doesn't come up too often when i'm with Zayn but i noticed that he always gets weird when hes mentioned. I think it makes him uncomfortable because he feels guilty. Even though he pretends he doesn't care that this could ruin their relationship and/or hurt Niall emotionally.

"Do you guys still have sex and stuff?" he asks and i internally roll my eyes. I don't know why he cares so much. I mean we haven't. I don't really have enough energy to fuck two guys. Plus, i don't really want to. Like damn. That would be disrespectful as hell to him.

"And if we do?" I say then start grabbing my stuff from around the room.

"That's a bit much isn't it?" he says getting out the bed throwing on sweatpants.

"I mean you already have sex with me isn't that enough?" he says in a judgy tone.

Is he really trying to control who i have sex with?

"Excuse me. One. Its not your business what i do with my boyfriend. Two. You can't be serious. Don't worry about what i do outside of your hotel room. Its not your job." i say annoyed then walk out hearing him mutter a "whatever".

Okay he's obviously not a morning person. Noted.

I drive to the arena where i'm meeting the girls. We've been performing new songs recently and the fans really enjoy them so we're going to get Simon to drop our EP really soon. Excited isn't even the word.

"Oh here comes 'always late alana' shes finally here after 15 minutes of waiting." Brooklyn says as i walk over to the stage.

"Oh shutup." i laugh then walk up the stairs to get on the platform thats attached to the stage.

"You look so good. Like you're glowing. What's up with you? Is it Niall?" Nia says then i smile. No its his bestfriend.

"I've been getting a lot more sleep recently." I say. Its not a full lie.

"She's lying. Niall has been putting it down. That's a good dick glow. I'm about to have that too. Because guess who's coming to Japan?!!!" Brook says excitedly.

It's Rowan. Im actually kind of excited to meet him. They've been dating for months but she never brings him around us.

"Oh my god. When??" Nia asked.

"In a few days. We definitely have to go out. So that means no hiding away mysteriously Alvarez." she says looking at me.

"Fine. Fine." I say rolling my eyes playfully then stand up so we can start practicing.

Rehearsals with the girls went great as always and now we have to get ready for the show.

"BABEE" I hear a voice say then Niall hugs me from behind.

"Hey Ni." I say then turn around planting a kiss on his lips. "I've missed you bug."

"I know. Im glad we get to spend the night together. I was getting worried about us." He said quietly lacing his fingers with mine.

"You have nothing to worry about. I promise." I say then kiss him again.

He leaves me to finish getting ready then i see Zayn walking around so i go up to him.

I kinda feel bad about this morning. I got super defensive when he probably wasn't trying to sound judgmental.

"Hey. Are we good from this morning?" i asked then he looked up at me with a plain face.

"We're extravagant." he said sarcastically then walked away.

He's so melodramatic. I don't even know why he's upset. But you know what. I don't care. I have a show to do then after i get to hang out with my boyfriend.

"Blaze. You're on in 3..2..1.."