it's you [malik]

seventeen || tired

What. The. Fuck.

I remember the events from last night and i don't even want to dare opening my eyes. I hear water running from in the bathroom so I take it as a chance to get up. I quickly put on my clothes then left his room before he could see me. What the hell did i just do? Is it bad that i only feel semi guilty? Like i know i cheated but it was amazing. Im a horrible person. Oh my god.

I get back upstairs to my room then shower trying to wash off all the memories but it doesn't work. I still see him, smell him, and feel him.

How am i even going to look at Niall the same? How am i going to look at Zayn the same? Not even the same. How can i look at him at all? He got exactly what he wanted from me. This is so embarrassing. I just let him use me like that. I mean. I initiated it but he was obviously trying to take me there. He knew exactly what to say and do to get me to have sex with him. This is insane.

I hear a knock on my door as soon as i start regretting last night even more than i originally did.

"Who is it?" i yell throwing on an outfit trying to get myself together for the day.

"Its Brook and Nia. Come on girl we need to get breakfast."

I don't even have enough time to dry my hair so i just put it up in a bun.

When i open the door theyre looking at me like im insane. "What the hell. We're gonna miss the waffles." Nia says dragging me out my room. "You look a mess." Brook comments while we wait for the elevator. No shit bitch. "I uh didnt sleep well." i lie then they just shrug and continued their conversation that i'm too distracted to join. During the whole elevator ride i'm just trying to figure out how im going to deal with this shit. The elevator doors open on the second floor and i really hope all this stress is messing with me and i do not see what i'm seeing. "Good morning ladies." The smug black haired smirk says. dont look at him. God obviously wants to punish me for cheating on Niall. Zayn stands right next to me and I feel his gaze burning a hole in my skin. No one says anything. I guess Nia and Brook feel the tension as well.

If it wasn't for the doors finally opening i would have suffocated in my own thick air of guilt. We file out of the elevator but right as i start walking ahead i feel a familiar hand pull me away.

"Are we going to talk about last night?" Zayn asks calmly.

"No. There's nothing to talk about. Its never happening again." i say slapping his arm off of me. He looks taken aback and i walk away from him before he can say more.

Talk. Talk my ass. I have absolutely nothing to say to him. I dont know what he thinks this is. I just try to push him and everything from my thoughts while i get something to eat.

"Okay. Where'd you go?" Nia asked watching me sit down with a plate of waffles.

"I saw a fan." i respond shortly then just start eating.

They just talk about Rowan the whole time. Something about him coming to see Brook soon. I don't know and i really don't care. I have more pressing issues. My boyfriends psychotic hot fuck boy of a best-friend is after me. I cheated. Im lying to my bestfriends. And i still have to keep doing my job.

I need a break.

"Are you going to tell us whats wrong with you?" Brook says snapping me out of my internal chaos.

"Nothings wrong i'm just tired. I'm probably going to stay in my room all day. Get some rest." I say.

"You've been'tired' alot recently." Brook mumbles.

"Look the tours probably kicking in. She's having a bad day. Its fine Lana just go get some sleep so you can feel better tomorrow." Nia says understandingly. Like always.

I throw away my trash from breakfast then walk towards the elevator. I pass Zayn and stress is evident on his face. Good. He shouldn't get to be the smug one all the time.