Inspired
Alex and I don't talk much on the way home. He pulls up to the end of the carport and puts the truck in park. "I think it would be best if I walked you to the door." He continues to watch the waves as they crash up on the shore in front of my parents' house.
"It wasn't your fault, Alex."
I see him turn to look at me out of the corner of my eye and can't stop myself from returning that look.
"Maybe not but it's safer." His expression changes to something I can't decipher, maybe fear or worry. I can't read him as well as I used to be able to. There was a time when I could read him like a book but that was a long time ago when he was a boy.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, it's just been a long day," He says, this time I can tell he's lying. It's the way his eyes turn slightly away from mine, like he can't bare to look me in the eyes and lie to me. I don't call him on it. I just turn away to watch the waves again. "Do you want to come in? I can warm up our food."
Alex's arm goes up to hang off of the steering wheel before he turns to look at me again his schooled features showing nothing of what's going on inside his head. He sits silently watching me for a moment before I turn locking eyes with him. "I guess I can eat," his words slip through his lips inciting a nod from me.
I break eye contact and open the truck door, stepping out into the carport. A breeze whips through blowing my hair and inspiring my skin to form goosebumps with the chill that it carries off of the ocean's waves. I shiver as I find my way to the front steps, wrapping my arms around myself trapping the warmth inside of me. The chill is nothing like the piercing frigidity of the winters in Chicago, but enough to make me wish that I had thought to bring a sweater or a light jacket.
I shuffle through my purse removing the key and sliding it into the lock, before letting the door fly open and stepping inside with Alex not far behind carrying the bag of food from the restaurant. Once inside he sets the bag on the island that separates the kitchen from the living room and exits the room while I remove the contents of the bag tossing one container into the microwave at a time.
I step back, unaware that Alex has returned, he wraps a sweater around my shoulders before stepping away without a word. I turn watching him find a seat at the island.
"Thanks." I say shoving my arms into the sleeves of the sweater. Wow this is a first, I think as he smiles back at me. In the past we were too busy removing each other's clothes. I can't remember a time when Alex ever offered to put more on me. I turn and smile at the thought when I heard the microwave ding. I reach into a drawer removing some silverware before turning to the island. I slide Alex's food in front of him before placing his silverware beside it.
Once my food has been warmed I sit beside him at the island. We eat our meal in silence. I don't know how to talk to him anymore. He has changed so much in the last ten years. I guess we are both different people now.
Filled to the brim, I carry my container to the trashcan and toss it inside before stepping toward the front door. I open the French style doors admiring the view that I have yet to really see since I've returned.
Angry waves beat against the edge of the beach, forcefully ripping away all that lies there gathering treasures that will find their way to the deepest depth of the ocean, while in return leaving behind gifts carried by the waves. It's a love affair that can never be between the elements, land and sea.
I tear my eyes away from the romantic chaos that is the ocean when Alex steps beside me hands buried deep inside his pockets. Forcing myself to look away from him is getting harder with each minute that I remain in his company, but I am a strong woman. I don't need him or any other man.
