Behind the Tears of War

Chapter 30

That night was pretty quiet, Katrina and I both didn't really say anything. It had been quite a day for the both of us, and we both didn't have the energy for that kind of thing. I wanted to ask her what happened when we'd all been separated, but I knew she needed sleep, and honestly, if she was anything like me, she definitely wouldn't want to be talking about it right then.

Although for me, the only thing I could think about was Matt. He was inevitable, there was no way to get over him. I was utterly in love with someone who had torn my heart in a million pieces. My mind was restless, I knew that Matt had always been there for me and my sister, but why? He was one of the closest people in our lives, he was practically family. The only family we had left other than Ann.

Clarissa was gone, she would have known exactly what to say, but she was gone. My best friend was dead, and there was no way to get her back. Matt was now the closest I had to a best friend, and I feared of losing that. Mayabelle showed up out of nowhere, and he was leaving me left and right. All I wanted was to be with him at that moment, but I knew he was with Mayabelle. There was no stopping the inevitable. If it was to happen it would happen, and that was what scared me the most. What if Matt and Mayabelle were meant to happen?

I couldn't sleep that night, I just laid there staring at the wall in silence. That was until I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I slipped out of bed leaving my little sister alone as I quietly snuck out of the room careful to not wake Katrina. I stared down the halls and made a mental note as to where Katrina's bedroom was. Then I started down the hall silently, my bare feet touching the cold concrete floor below me.

It was cold, and I could feel a shiver making it way down my neck. Honestly I had no idea what it was I was looking for. I just needed some time to myself. I needed to do something. I just walked, and eventually I found the room that I had passed out in before. It was empty, and safe to conclude that no one was awake. I walked into it and stared at the radio wandering of it really worked. I just had to know what was going on with the war. I crouched beside it and silently switched on the radio.

At first my ears were consumed with this wretched screeching noise until the radio was adjusted. There was a man's voice speaking, it seemed like a rather boring broadcast but I allowed for it to play while I walked toward the maps on the wall. It was a old version of the world. It spotted which regions were the oddity's territories and the pendomites. The maps were obviously way out of date.

"Hey, what are you doing up still?" I heard a recognizable voice behind me.

"Just couldn't sleep" I replied not turning around to look at them. I just traced my fingers on the territory that used to be my home. There were so many places that had been marked wrong because it was out of date but my hometown had always been oddity territory.

"Oh." He was standing beside me now. "Are you okay?" I finally turned to meet Matt's gaze.

"I'm totally fine." I replied.

"Oh, okay."He was silent for a good while. "I went to your room you weren't there."

I shrugged my shoulders not wanting to make a big deal out of nothing. "I got lost, but Hunter found me and helped me. I didn't want to be alone so I stayed with Katrina."

"Oh my god, I'm such a dick." Matt slapped his hand against his forehead.

"What are you talking about?" I crossed my arms and stared questionably at him.

"I thought you would be able to find your way back. I'm so stupid." He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"That's not your fault Matt. Maybelle needed you, and we both thought I'd be okay. I'm not mad at you." I said. But I couldn't help but think about how disappointed I was that he would rather be with her than me. I shook my head, I had to stop thinking about Matt. I just had to...

"Yeah I guess, its it's weird though, we haven't seen each other in years. She is completely different now you know?" Matt shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess I can understand that." I mumbled to myself.

"She used to be this badass chick, nothing ever got to her, and I mean nothing." He shook his head as if he were annoyed. "She was just terrified about a spider in her room and she wanted me to kill it for her, so I did. Then she started jumping around to every little noise, which I don't blame, I know she's been out there by herself all this time. I just, I didn't want to spend my time with her. I wanted to be with you. So the moment I got the chance to leave, I did, but you were nowhere to be seen." He laughed quietly. "I'm so sorry Des, I should've at least brought you to your room"

He then leaned over me wrapping his arms around my waist. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to take in the moment. Then I felt him kiss the temple of my forehead. I felt my skin go cold as I looked up at him. Our eyes met and I couldn't look away. I wanted so badly to kiss him again. I wanted to start all over again. I wanted to feel the intensity of his lips against mine.

"Destiny?" His voice got quiet.

"Yea-Yeah?" I mumbled worriedly.

"I should have never said what I said. I didn't mean it, I was just scared, and I just thought-" He began to explain.

"I get it Matt, you thought the best thing to do was push me away..." I whispered. "and it probably was to be honest."

"Don't say that Des." He ran his fingers through my hair and continued to stare at me. "No, Des, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me." He continued to stare at me. " I could never stay away from you for that long. I'm so sorry I tried to push you away." He left a kiss on my cheek. It was as if he was scared to actually kiss me. But I couldn't look away from him, my heart was pounding and I couldn't stop it this time.

He leaned forward pushing the stray pieces of hair away from my face. Then he shoved me against the wall behind us, caging me in with his hand on the wall above me. His other hand was on my waist. I could feel his warm breath against the skin on my neck. Then he leaned closer to me, his eyes never leaving mine.

He kissed me. Matt kissed me, and it was as if all that anger and frustration built inside of me just faded. It was just Matt and I there and I felt safe in his arms. I never wanted to leave that moment, so I kissed him back knowing that I shouldn't be kissing him. I knew I shouldn't let my guard down like this. I knew I couldn't let myself get hurt all over again. Although there was just something that felt so right about him.

I kissed him, my fingers running through his hair as he pressed himself closer to me. Then he began to trail butterfly kisses down my neck and my collarbone. It was sweet, but it tickled in a way. Matt held me tight and continued to kiss me, and God could you blame me for not wanting it to stop? It was perfect, I was kissing the boy I had been in love with for all these years, and finally it was happening. I didn't think about how upset I had been with him. All I could think about at that moment was how smooth his lips were against mine. How right it felt for his hand to be on my waist. How his hair felt so soft, and how he never missed a beat. I could feel myself blushing, but I had no control over that.

Finally when Matt pulled away his hair was a mess and his breath was kind of shaking. I knew I looked worse than him. My hair was probably fluffed up enough to nest a family of birds. My face felt as if it were on fire, and my lips I already knew they were swollen up to a darker pink color. It was a wonder I was able to hold myself up. Matt did a number on me, but this is was completely something else, I had been rendered speechless. We both didn't say anything we just kind of stared at each other not knowing what to do. Honestly, the silence was the most awkward part, because we both had no clue what to do next.

I felt confused and stumbled away from him after a few seconds, finally realizing what had happened. We had kissed, and I was okay with that... On the other hand I didn't want anything bad to happen to Matt, everyone I loved just seemed to disappear. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't anyone's really it just happened that way. I knew one thing was for sure. I would not loose Matt, I was no going to let that happen.

So without a word said I whipped around and I ran. I knew Matt was too important to me to do this, and I wasn't going to let him get hurt. Not by me. Not by anyone. Even if it meant I had to stay away from him.