Never Cry Wolf

Devyn Part 1

The days go by in a blur and finally it's Saturday. Jess has been raving about this festival, carnival, whatever you want to call it, since the first day of school. I'm super excited, don't get me wrong, but I'm worried about telling Lucius how I feel. I'm kind of debating how long I can keep it a secret before it blows up in my face, but what is it that Leah says in Love, Simon? Oh yeah, "I'm destined to care so much about one person it nearly kills me."

And that one person is Lucius. I've never been more sure of something in my entire life.

Ding Dong

"I got it," I yell. This is the first time Jess will see Lucius' house...well, our house. It's still weird to phrase it that way, but it's been a couple of months now, so I need to get used to it. Jess has her back to the door when I open it. She turns around smiling like a kid on Christmas. Girl, I know the feeling.

"This is amazing." She turns back around to admire the view. I've spent hours staring at it and it's still never enough. Even when it's cold I'll climb out Lucius's window onto the roof and stare up at the sky. I can't help but feel that my mother is looking up at the stars too. Now that I know she's alive, I can't help but wonder what she's doing, what she's been up to, if I'll ever see her again. What hurts you only makes you stronger, right?

"You girls going to be warm enough?" Spar asks as Lucius and Max walk out the front door. We both nod, but Jess is no longer paying attention to Spar. Max finally built up the courage and asked Jess out on a date, so Lucius and I are technically double dating right now. When I look at them, I'm so happy. I could care less about how awkward this night could get.

"Have fun kids and stay safe at the carnival." Kat is at Spar's side in an instant. Honestly, they are relationship goals. I look at them and I immediately expect nothing less out of my relationship. I know it isn't fair; I just want to experience the type of love they have. And at some point I'm going to have to find out if Lucius feels the same way about me. I know it's a lot to expect from a teenage boy, but I'm ready to take that leap of faith... and I'm hoping he is too. It's really now or never.

Lucius and I sit in the front while Max and Jess take the back. Lucius reaches over and grabs my hand. He gently squeezes it as a smile forms on my lips. We don't need to talk. We don't have those awkward silent moments. Yes, we have quiet moments, but we never feel uncomfortable. There's only one other person I can say that about: Jess.

Lucius turns on the radio, keeping the volume low so Max and Jess can still talk, when The Dean List's song 'Light Up The Sky' comes on. I hold my breath knowing Jess will recognize that song at any moment. It doesn't matter how low the volume is. This is her favorite song and as if on cue she yells for us to turn it up. We roll into the parking lot, the song blaring out the car windows. 

To get in its $5, so I take out my wallet when Lucius sets a $10 down on the table. I take the $10 off the table before the gentleman at the booth can take it and hand it back to Lucius. The moment I touched the money he was glaring at me. I should have expected this.

"Don't give me that look, Lucius. You don't need to pay for me." As if it was even possible, his glare deepens. "You have let me live in your house for the past three months. That's payment enough." I go to hand the gentleman my money again when Lucius grabs the money out of my hand and stuffs it in his pocket before handing the man his money. Lucius looks very pleased with himself as he grabs my hand and pulls me inside to the carnival. We are only a couple feet in when he stops and faces me. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes say it all. I sigh. "Okay, fine. Lucius, if you want to pay more than you should then be my guest." A smile plays on his lips, but he still doesn't say anything. "Okay okay, I'm sorry for not letting you be the man in the relationship. I'll keep myself strictly obedient to your ways this evening." That earns me the full smile and not to mention a small laugh. Seeing him happy makes me smile.