In some sort of twisted way, I hate that she is happy, It's a thought that comes from the darkest place within me because I want her to be happy I do; I just hate that she is happy without me.
It's supposed to be me who holds her hand as she walks through downtown.
It's supposed to be me who lets her vent about a mean comment.
It's supposed to be me who holds her tight before she falls asleep.
It's supposed to be me who kisses her forehead when she gets stressed.
But I guess she thinks it's supposed to be him.
Watching the one you love fall for someone else hurts. When I saw how she started to look at him, the way she would blush when he walked in the room, how she would smile when she heard his voice, any other little thing like that felt like a knife being stabbed right through the best part of me.
and the worst part of it all is that I have to pretend that I'm okay with it, I have to pretend I'm not drowning in pain.
"Dude, what's wrong with you, get up we have shit to get done! David??"
"What? Oh sorry, I'm just really tired." I apologized to Zane for not listening to him go on and on about party details. I don't want to go to this stupid party where Liza and her boyfriend Chris the fucking fuck head will come traipsing in rubbing their love in everyone's face, specifically mine. It was a lot easier to be best friends with Liza when we were both single. "So are we going to get snacks for tonight or what?" I said starting towards the door of the vlog house.
-
The music was booming, everyone was drunk or on their way to drunk, people were dancing, and laughing. I was just sitting on the couch, laughing along with everyone slightly so it was believable that I was having a good time. I wasn't in that bad of spirits, it was actually a pretty nice party so far, but I guess all good things must come to an end.
"Guess who?" There was no need to guess, I would know those small hands and angelic voice from anywhere.
"Stacey??" I joked which got me a slap on the back of the head, it's been a year and a half since we broke up and half a year since she started dating Chris, but the Stacy jokes still keeps going. I turned around and got up to walk behind the couch to greet Liza with a hug.
She smells so good.
She looks so beautiful.
I've missed this.
Once we pulled away I realized he was here. I swallowed my pride and gave him props with a friendly smile.
"How've you guys been?" I asked my cheeks hurting from how big I was smiling, not genuine at all.
"Great!! Other than we had a little argument because someone couldn't find something to wear.." Chris commented poking fun at her which bothered me, I know how Liza doesn't like those kind of comments. He continued on to say.. "I told her that she looks pretty in anything she puts on but she wouldn't listen." He chuckled out, he is so arrogant. If that were me I would make sure she knew she was beautiful, no need to convince.
"Hey shut up cutie.." Liza retorted as she laughed. I wondered if he thought what I thought when I see Liza laugh. I see the way her eyes scrunch up at the corners, how her mouth opens and closes as she wheezes when she laughs really hard at something, or even when she stops laughing and she just sits there smiling for a minute taking in the joke.
"I'm gonna go find someone who's drunk and film them, you two have fun I'll catch up with you later." I yelled slightly because the music got louder and I was walking between them Chris slapped my back in a friendly way and apart of me died.
I don't want to hate him, and trust me I never express that for Lizas sake, she doesn't deserve to be stressed over me not liking her boyfriend, it's just I hate that he makes her happy. I'm supposed to make her happy. It's been a year and a half and I haven't accepted the fact that we aren't together, I still think she is my forever; she might just not know it yet.
Maybe that's stupid, actually I know it's stupid. I'm stupid for falling for someone the way I did for her.
Forget filming, I need to drink so I can forget her.
authors note!!
// hey tysm for reading it means the world!! This is my first one shot and I think a part two is coming!! I'm still working on my book (I fell for you) check it out it's also a diza fan fic!! I'll update soon.. sorry this was so short. Luv u all!! //
Unedited so sorry for any grammar mistakes :/ or punctuation.. :)
