The constant feeling of missing her is something I could never shake, it was always sitting there in the pit of my stomach. I cant catch a break.
For a while it didn't bother me as much, but for the last month or so all I can think about is her. Do I move on? Do I wait? She told not to wait, but I can't not wait, yet at the same time maybe someone new would be good for me. It's just I can't imagine myself with anyone but her.
This is driving me fucking insane.
Jason came into the room where I was editing and sat down on the couch. I expected him to ask about my content, or what I wanted to film tonight. I was taken back by his question.
"Are you going to move on from Liza, ever?" I furrowed my eyebrows and closed my computer. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry but I'm just curious. We all are."
"We? Who's we?" I questioned.
"Uh you know, Zane, heath, Todd, Scott, the others, no girls. We aren't stupid if we told Corinna, she'd tell Kristen, and you know she'd tell Liza." Jason explained. I sighed and looked away. Maybe I should ask Jason for advice, he is sort of like my dad in a fucked up way.
Just do it, your going crazy.
"Jason I don't know, it's just I'm sorta going crazy, and I have been for about a month. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to move on, I want Liza, like a lot. I used to not think about moving on, I was just going to let it happen and if it didn't it was whatever. She fucking consumes my thoughts and I can't catch a breath and I just want to date someone, I am ready for a relationship, she's not, I know she's not. So that leaves me being lonely or moving on from someone I want a forever with, possibly jeopardizing my future with the maybe, probably I don't know love of my life? If that even exists." I took a breath, and I heard the door open. Zane's coming here to film, whatever he already wanted to know the answer anyway. I opened myself up there was no turning back. "I just don't think anyone will love me ever like that, you have no idea what we had. It was the definition of true fucking love, I can't loose that. Maybe I could find that somewhere else, but what if I can't. I just don't know if I should wait, or if I shouldn't."
"David." Jason started.
"No jason, I can't do this anymore. I hate this, this, waiting game!"
"David!" He yelled and nodded to behind me. I turned around, my heart sank to my feet.
Liza.
She was standing there, in the doorway of the living room. She was about to cry, which killed me to see, but knowing it was because of me was a whole other story. I made her cry, Liza the girl I'm so in love with but can't have.
"I'll give you two a minute." Jason said scurrying out of the room as he had felt the tension growing.
"Liza, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I didn't know you were even here, I just. I don't know, I'm frustrated, angry, upset, and I just feel like I want a girlfriend again and I want it to be you. I hate playing the waiting game." I explained.
"I never told you to wait, your single. Go fuck someone, go on a date. Do whatever honesty I couldn't care less." She said turning around on her heels and walking out of the room.
"Wait!" I said catching up to her. "I know you never said to wait, it's just I wanted to. This is all my own fault for not wanting to move on."
"Why don't you just go on a date?"
"Liza, can't you see? I don't wanna go on a date with anyone but you. I want to do everything with you, always and forever. We just, I don't know, spend to much time together? It's not that I don't want to always be with you, it's all I want to do. It's just it's hard because we're basically still dating, just without the label. I just am so stuck between needing someone and needing you." I sighed.
"David, I don't know what to tell you."
"Tell me you want me! Or tell me you don't!" I yelled slightly.
"What makes you think I don't want you?" She questioned. I rolled my eyes.
"Only everything! any kind of emotion you have ever shown towards me is friendly lately." I told her sternly.
"We need a break."
"What?"
"David rule number one of breaking up is to not spend time with your ex, we never listened to that and maybe we should've. You're clearly going crazy, and I just think if we take a break from each other maybe you'll be able to move on, or just heal.. a little bit." She said staring at the ground.
"Okay, a break it is. I guess." I told her, not trying to sound cold. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her in a hug and we just stood there hugging each other, taking one other in.
-
Lizas POV
I stood at the glass door of his house and I knocked three times, my heart was pounding out of my chest.
He emerged from around the corner of his house and came running to the door, smiling ear to ear.
He opened it and looked at me.
We had seen each other around, at the streamys, Scott's album release party, group events, but we exchange hellos and share a few laughs, that's it. There is no deep conversation, no secret sharing, and no one on one jokes. That all stops today.
He smirked at me with those big brown eyes. This kid makes me smile no matter what he does.
I wrapped small arms around his body and engulfed myself in his scent. Once we pulled apart I wanted to catch him up on all he had missed.
I pulled him inside of his house and sat him down on the couch.
"So."
"Tell me everything." He told me smiling.
This is right where I wanted to be.
authors note
// hey!! Tysm for reading it means the world to me. This was interesting idk. I LOVE DAVID AND LIZA AND THE VLOG SQUAD! lol idk.
Vote, comment, share, follow me, chat with me, do whatever.
CHECK OUT THE BOY FROM FOURTH PERIOD PLEASE
^^ chapter four is in the works!!
THANK U SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THREE THOUSAND AH OH MY FUCK.
okay I think that's all..
see u next time byeee!!
much love..
Xx //
