"WET DREAMZ" K-pop AMBW

Feelings

Rule one of suppressing your feelings for someone: don't drink with that person.

Hansol's laugh reverberates off the walls of your dorm room, a honeyed sound you distantly associate with the lap of waves against shore or the way it feels when coffee dissipates the cloud of exhaustion in your head; fake-deep, admittedly, yet surprisingly philosophical for someone wading in a pool of empty shot glasses and red-tinted wine glasses you snatched from your parents' house over holiday break.

"You're telling me you put out for him? God, you have awful taste," he chides bringing a glass to his lips. His words earn a playful smack to his arm.

"Oh my god, one blowjob doesn't mean I 'put out' for him. Plus it's 2018, let me do what I want. You sound like we're in middle school again," through the alcohol-induced haze you still recognize the eruption of butterflies when he giggles, the metaphorical hearts that dance above his head when he speaks again.

"I'm not shaming you, I mean you can blow whoever you want," he surrenders, amusement dancing in his eyes among the yellow glow of your carefully hung string lights. He really does look good, lips stained red and hands gripping his glass in an attempt to stabilize it; one wrong move and he'd spill all over your bedding, and facing your wrath was something he'd rather not do. Not that you'd ever get or stay mad at him. "What did he do for you?"

His question catches you by surprise. Not that it should, given you've begun to grow closer and the topic of sex clearly isn't off-limits, but he was also your crush, and talking about your sex life when you'd much rather have him between your legs sent adrenaline coursing through your body.

"What did he do for me?" you repeat incredulously, as if saying it once again will change the weight of the words. It's embarrassing to admit out loud, that you'd gotten down on your knees and wrapped your lips around the dick of a man who was too selfish to return the favor.

Luckily the quirk of Hansol's eyebrow told you he knew all he needed to. "You really sucked his dick and he couldn't even make you come? What kind of guy does that?" he seems almost upset, the gleam in his eye nearly giving way to a flame you only saw occasionally when his professor refuses to bump his grade up or Starbucks messes up his order on a particularly exhaustive Monday. But you knew Hansol, he never really got angry.

The rim of your glass is cool against your burning lips, the blush in your face spreading everywhere until you were sure he noticed. A deliberate change in subject later and you're giggling about the latest Netflix series, your laptop balanced carefully on your laps and your sides pressed too close for comfort.

(You silently curse the university for insisting upon such small beds. He harbors a grudge against the asshole who'd passed up the opportunity to see your pretty face glowing in the wake of an orgasm.)

-

Rule two should be simple, yet you find yourself breaking it two days later: don't accept an invitation to his place. Especially for a movie night.

His roommate never showed come the beginning of the school year, leaving him with a double room to live in all alone- a luxury few enjoy on campus. It leaves more room for a futon and coffee table, he explains when he opens your door to find your smiling form. His room never failed to impress you, cleaner than most and smelling of the same cologne that always had your head spinning.

He leads you inside, gesturing to the couch laden with cute throw pillows, his laptop situated on the coffee table to act as your television. "I figured we could keep watching that one show," he speaks casually as if his heart isn't threatening to beat out of his chest; why the hell did you have to look so cute in something so simple? As he mills around the room collecting snacks from this shelf and that, he tries to suppress the heat rising to his cheeks. He's always bolder, more comfortable around you with alcohol swimming in his veins. Now, when he's sober and you're perched on his couch looking cute in your oversized sweater, he decides he isn't as brave as he thought he'd be tonight.